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Topic : Step-Parenting

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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:47:27 pm
Author : dataimport
If you are a step-parent, you deal with many frustrations and rewards each day that are unique. Share your story with us.

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October 13, 2005, 6:46 pm CDT

Step-Parenting

Quote From: smashash1

I moved in with my boyfriend about a year ago.  There is a 15 year age difference between him and I.   I share custody of my 16 year old son with my ex, and I cant help but get the feeling that my b/f is jealous of the relationship I have with my son.   My son does his own laundry, cooks, and with a little pushing will clean up after himself as well.  I went from seeing him everyday while his father and I were together to now only seeing him half as much. (Two weeks with me, two with his dad) 

  

My son was always involved in basketball, and I really enjoyed the 3 nights a week of practices and weekend games etc... that it involved.  I was very active in fundraising etc... for their team and loved the interaction with the other parents as well.  Due to an injury, and surgery, my son was unable to continue with basketball and no longer plays.   (He hasnt played since I have been involved with my new hubby)  Any time that my son and I talk about his basketball days, my boyfriend generally has comments about how wrong it was for me to have spent so much time and money catering to my son.  He thinks that kids are to be told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it and that kids are not to be catered to at all.  He thinks that because we were so involved that he was a spoiled rotten "only child".  He has 3 older children from a previous marriage who have told me that living with him when they were younger was very difficult. 

  

Last year my son had gone through a stage where he was testing his limits , (missed curfews, smoking, a couple of missed classes) but never anything serious.  Even though my son has done really well in the last year, and hasnt gotten into any trouble, my b/f always brings up the mistakes that he made.  My son has never talked back to my boyfriend, or me in a disrespectful way.  My son and I have had a couple of arguments over what he can and cannot do, and we have both said some things that we have regretted, but all in all, my son and I are really close. 

We have two completely different ideas about discipline and communication.  I believe that by asking my son nicely to turn a light off that he forgot to turn off, he is more likely to do it without  us getting frustrated with each other.  My boyfriends idea is to allow my son to leave the room, wait until he is either busy doing something else, or sleeping and then tell him to get his ass up and turn the light off.  I know that my son is not the only teenager out there who leaves lights on, forgets to hang a towel up, forgets to rinse a dish out etc.... and I really dont think screaming and hollering about every small thing is the answer.   

  

The last straw came last week when my son forgot to turn the light off in his room, he had been sick for the previous two days, and this time instead of asking him to do it himself, which is what I usually do, I did it for him.  That is when my b/f started screaming that I was spoiling him rotten, (in front of my son and this wasnt the first time) that I might as well spoon feed him.  He then brought up the fact that I was too affectionate with my son, and that it wasnt healthy.  What he was referring to is a month before, my son had come home after playing football, and said that his back was really sore, he asked if I would rub it for a minute in hopes that it would make it feel better.  I did it, which I really dont think there is anything wrong with.... I'm lucky that I have a teenage son who will let me get within 10 feet of him.   At least once a month I make it a point to hug him, and I dont go a day without at least telling him once that I love him.  Sometimes, my b/f makes me think that I am crazy for trying to keep my relationship with my son a close one.   He has also made remarks in front of my son and his own 3 kids, about him (my son) being a sponge (when he was 15, and not yet allowed to get a job), spoiled, catered to, and just like his father.  I am really ready to throw in the towel as I dont want my son to start believing that he is a bad person.   

The other issue is with the way that his kids and grandkids act when they visit our home.   The basically do what they want, when they want.  When I ask why they can come into the house and do what they want but if my son leaves a light on a war breaks out, he says that when his kids were his age, they had to tow the line.  He says that he cant control how they act etc... now that they are grown and on their own.  He says that if I have a problem with how they act, I am to confront them when they are doing it.  I love each and every one of his kids, and I generally dont mind when they come around.  I just dont like when my son gets singled out as the only one to do things wrong.   

I have told him time and time again that I wouldnt be so touchy about him criticizing things that he does wrong if only he could once in a while also give him some positive feedback about something he may have done right.  He never has! 

  

I really love him, and he can be a very nice, funny romantic guy.  I just dont know if I can continue walking on eggshells when my son is around, scared that if he does something wrong, he will again be belittled.  I would love to hear feedback, good and bad from anyone....   

  

Am I crazy?  Am I being too overprotective?  Is he jealous?   

Dont you dare let this man do this to you or your son. Your son is your FIRST priority. I had a step-father once who treated me like that, now 10 years later I hate him and resent my mother for having my in that situation. You need to put your foot down. Do you think your son likes coming over there just to be treated like crap? Your child comes before your b/f? 

  

 
October 15, 2005, 9:28 am CDT

stepmom who needs advice

I have been with my husband for almost 8 years now (married 4).  My husband got custody of my stepdaughter (11) 5 years ago.  We get along well but things seem to change when daddy is around.  We have been through alot with her.  We have been to a couple counseling sessions in the past and my husband blames me for not allowing him to have a relationship with her by spending time alone together.  He has never asked until a year ago and since then has never fufilled it.  I take care of her and do more than he does as a parent.  We always argue about her as he thinks im on her 24/7 but he isn't around but part time due to work to see how we really are.  Im at the point now to get the camcorder out so maybe instead he could be THANKFUL for what I do.  We got into it this week and to make a long story short weren't talking and he came home last night to tell me he was going to meet his family and go to Disneyland for the weekend.  Again, taking her while were in a fight.  Is it just me or is this so disrespectful to me?  If he wants to spend time with her it needs to not be when were fighting cause I feel its a slap in my face.  HELP!! Anyone have advice what to think or say?  

 
October 17, 2005, 12:31 pm CDT

Step-Parenting

Quote From: jcushing

I have been with my husband for almost 8 years now (married 4).  My husband got custody of my stepdaughter (11) 5 years ago.  We get along well but things seem to change when daddy is around.  We have been through alot with her.  We have been to a couple counseling sessions in the past and my husband blames me for not allowing him to have a relationship with her by spending time alone together.  He has never asked until a year ago and since then has never fufilled it.  I take care of her and do more than he does as a parent.  We always argue about her as he thinks im on her 24/7 but he isn't around but part time due to work to see how we really are.  Im at the point now to get the camcorder out so maybe instead he could be THANKFUL for what I do.  We got into it this week and to make a long story short weren't talking and he came home last night to tell me he was going to meet his family and go to Disneyland for the weekend.  Again, taking her while were in a fight.  Is it just me or is this so disrespectful to me?  If he wants to spend time with her it needs to not be when were fighting cause I feel its a slap in my face.  HELP!! Anyone have advice what to think or say?  

First off, I completely understand that the hubby isn't always there or just doesn't notice everything that is going on.  That can be so frustrating. 

  

Secondly, if he didn't take her to Disneyland, which is a big deal to a lot of people, that would not only be a slap in HER face but could hurt her severly. 

  

You are the adult, not the child.  True, she needs to be taught to respect you and to mind what you say, but by not including her into something so big just because you are fighting is childish.  (Not trying to put you down, but being point blank like Dr. Phil, which is why I love watching his show.)  And I know that it would hurt things in your relationship instead of mending them.  Before you go I would recommend you sitting her down and talking to her.  Explain whatever it is that you are fighting over, and why you are upset over it.  Talk to her like a humanbeing and come to terms with it. Punish her in another way, but not by leaving her out. 

  

It is not disrespectful on his part by bringing her along, it would be disrespectful on your part by leaving her behind just because you are fighting. 

  

And he needs to spend as much time with her as possible, REGARDLESS of whether you are fighting or not. The world does not evolve on just your feelings, I know sometimes it feels like people are out to get you. But I promise they are not.  You have to realize that they are just children, regardless of age, up until they are 25 their brains are still not completely functioning like they should.  You are always going to disagree. 

  

How would you have felt if your parents were going to go somewhere and just left you because you had a disagreement?  Or how would you feel if it were your husband to leave you behind because you and his daughter were disagreeing? See what I am trying to say?   

 
October 17, 2005, 12:41 pm CDT

Step-Parenting

Quote From: smashash1

I moved in with my boyfriend about a year ago.  There is a 15 year age difference between him and I.   I share custody of my 16 year old son with my ex, and I cant help but get the feeling that my b/f is jealous of the relationship I have with my son.   My son does his own laundry, cooks, and with a little pushing will clean up after himself as well.  I went from seeing him everyday while his father and I were together to now only seeing him half as much. (Two weeks with me, two with his dad) 

  

My son was always involved in basketball, and I really enjoyed the 3 nights a week of practices and weekend games etc... that it involved.  I was very active in fundraising etc... for their team and loved the interaction with the other parents as well.  Due to an injury, and surgery, my son was unable to continue with basketball and no longer plays.   (He hasnt played since I have been involved with my new hubby)  Any time that my son and I talk about his basketball days, my boyfriend generally has comments about how wrong it was for me to have spent so much time and money catering to my son.  He thinks that kids are to be told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it and that kids are not to be catered to at all.  He thinks that because we were so involved that he was a spoiled rotten "only child".  He has 3 older children from a previous marriage who have told me that living with him when they were younger was very difficult. 

  

Last year my son had gone through a stage where he was testing his limits , (missed curfews, smoking, a couple of missed classes) but never anything serious.  Even though my son has done really well in the last year, and hasnt gotten into any trouble, my b/f always brings up the mistakes that he made.  My son has never talked back to my boyfriend, or me in a disrespectful way.  My son and I have had a couple of arguments over what he can and cannot do, and we have both said some things that we have regretted, but all in all, my son and I are really close. 

We have two completely different ideas about discipline and communication.  I believe that by asking my son nicely to turn a light off that he forgot to turn off, he is more likely to do it without  us getting frustrated with each other.  My boyfriends idea is to allow my son to leave the room, wait until he is either busy doing something else, or sleeping and then tell him to get his ass up and turn the light off.  I know that my son is not the only teenager out there who leaves lights on, forgets to hang a towel up, forgets to rinse a dish out etc.... and I really dont think screaming and hollering about every small thing is the answer.   

  

The last straw came last week when my son forgot to turn the light off in his room, he had been sick for the previous two days, and this time instead of asking him to do it himself, which is what I usually do, I did it for him.  That is when my b/f started screaming that I was spoiling him rotten, (in front of my son and this wasnt the first time) that I might as well spoon feed him.  He then brought up the fact that I was too affectionate with my son, and that it wasnt healthy.  What he was referring to is a month before, my son had come home after playing football, and said that his back was really sore, he asked if I would rub it for a minute in hopes that it would make it feel better.  I did it, which I really dont think there is anything wrong with.... I'm lucky that I have a teenage son who will let me get within 10 feet of him.   At least once a month I make it a point to hug him, and I dont go a day without at least telling him once that I love him.  Sometimes, my b/f makes me think that I am crazy for trying to keep my relationship with my son a close one.   He has also made remarks in front of my son and his own 3 kids, about him (my son) being a sponge (when he was 15, and not yet allowed to get a job), spoiled, catered to, and just like his father.  I am really ready to throw in the towel as I dont want my son to start believing that he is a bad person.   

The other issue is with the way that his kids and grandkids act when they visit our home.   The basically do what they want, when they want.  When I ask why they can come into the house and do what they want but if my son leaves a light on a war breaks out, he says that when his kids were his age, they had to tow the line.  He says that he cant control how they act etc... now that they are grown and on their own.  He says that if I have a problem with how they act, I am to confront them when they are doing it.  I love each and every one of his kids, and I generally dont mind when they come around.  I just dont like when my son gets singled out as the only one to do things wrong.   

I have told him time and time again that I wouldnt be so touchy about him criticizing things that he does wrong if only he could once in a while also give him some positive feedback about something he may have done right.  He never has! 

  

I really love him, and he can be a very nice, funny romantic guy.  I just dont know if I can continue walking on eggshells when my son is around, scared that if he does something wrong, he will again be belittled.  I would love to hear feedback, good and bad from anyone....   

  

Am I crazy?  Am I being too overprotective?  Is he jealous?   

Oh my sweetie.  Honestly, wow.  This type of thinking will never change!  You can see that he has done it with his older children and he is going to do it with your son.  Don't let him.  He will help to create a coldhearted person or someone that is going to despise him and/or you.  Luckily you are not married. I say run.  Run as fast as you can.  Right now you are just dating, it gets 10 times worse once you are married.  Do you really want to put your son through that? 

  

And once you get married, its not going to be just your son, it'll turn into him treating you horribly.  Screaming at you is already a big big BIG no no.  Its abuse.  I've seen it with my own mother.   

  

He may be really funny and romantic and you love him... but there are other guys out there that will love you more and love your son just as much as they love you. 

  

You are not being too overprotective, you need to be more protective, get your son out of that situation NOW.  I was raised in an abusive relationship.  My mother was abused by 3 different husbands and they all hated me.. .including my own father.  My brother was also raised in it.. you couldn't imagine the type of trouble that my brother is in because of the raising he had.   

  

I can't say it enough... RUN... don't just walk away, but run as fast as you can.  It'll hurt being away from someone you were with but once you find yourself again and find that guy that is going to love not only you but your son, you will know that it was worth it. 

  

  

 
October 18, 2005, 5:33 am CDT

Step-Parenting

Quote From: natalie83

Oh my sweetie.  Honestly, wow.  This type of thinking will never change!  You can see that he has done it with his older children and he is going to do it with your son.  Don't let him.  He will help to create a coldhearted person or someone that is going to despise him and/or you.  Luckily you are not married. I say run.  Run as fast as you can.  Right now you are just dating, it gets 10 times worse once you are married.  Do you really want to put your son through that? 

  

And once you get married, its not going to be just your son, it'll turn into him treating you horribly.  Screaming at you is already a big big BIG no no.  Its abuse.  I've seen it with my own mother.   

  

He may be really funny and romantic and you love him... but there are other guys out there that will love you more and love your son just as much as they love you. 

  

You are not being too overprotective, you need to be more protective, get your son out of that situation NOW.  I was raised in an abusive relationship.  My mother was abused by 3 different husbands and they all hated me.. .including my own father.  My brother was also raised in it.. you couldn't imagine the type of trouble that my brother is in because of the raising he had.   

  

I can't say it enough... RUN... don't just walk away, but run as fast as you can.  It'll hurt being away from someone you were with but once you find yourself again and find that guy that is going to love not only you but your son, you will know that it was worth it. 

  

  

Thank you so much for your reply.  I cant believe that I have gotten to the point where I question everything that I do, and whether or not I am crazy.  I was never the type of person that needed to be given a whole lot of direction, I always knew right from wrong and was very comfortable with my relationship with my son.   

  

The one time that I threatened to leave, he said that that was proof that I let me son run my life and that I cater to him.   I dont in any way let my son tell me what to do, but I do believe in letting kids have their input and their thoughts taken into consideration.  After all, its not his fault that his father and I seperated, that his dad and stepmom have a new baby, that he is now supposed to try and have a relationship with my boyfriend.  I just think that including their input into decisions allows them to feel that they have a little bit of control.  He is a very quiet kid, and yes has done a few things wrong, but he is a teenager, and I think that most teenagers test their limits at some point.  Even his own kids agree with me, but are timid to tell him to his face.  They sometimes joke to him about his "odd" ways, but will never seriously tell him how his negative criticism has affected them or how it is affecting me and my son.   

Thank you again, and I value what you have said.  I feel that I can make a decision now and not question my sanity.  I know that is crazy, but I always worry that my friends and family are only trying to make me feel better when they say it isnt right the way things are going.  An unbiased opinion or opinions always help.   

 
October 18, 2005, 12:08 pm CDT

Re: quote

Quote From: natalie83

First off, I completely understand that the hubby isn't always there or just doesn't notice everything that is going on.  That can be so frustrating. 

  

Secondly, if he didn't take her to Disneyland, which is a big deal to a lot of people, that would not only be a slap in HER face but could hurt her severly. 

  

You are the adult, not the child.  True, she needs to be taught to respect you and to mind what you say, but by not including her into something so big just because you are fighting is childish.  (Not trying to put you down, but being point blank like Dr. Phil, which is why I love watching his show.)  And I know that it would hurt things in your relationship instead of mending them.  Before you go I would recommend you sitting her down and talking to her.  Explain whatever it is that you are fighting over, and why you are upset over it.  Talk to her like a humanbeing and come to terms with it. Punish her in another way, but not by leaving her out. 

  

It is not disrespectful on his part by bringing her along, it would be disrespectful on your part by leaving her behind just because you are fighting. 

  

And he needs to spend as much time with her as possible, REGARDLESS of whether you are fighting or not. The world does not evolve on just your feelings, I know sometimes it feels like people are out to get you. But I promise they are not.  You have to realize that they are just children, regardless of age, up until they are 25 their brains are still not completely functioning like they should.  You are always going to disagree. 

  

How would you have felt if your parents were going to go somewhere and just left you because you had a disagreement?  Or how would you feel if it were your husband to leave you behind because you and his daughter were disagreeing? See what I am trying to say?   

First of all I want to Thank You for responding to my message and it definately is something to think about.  But, I don't know that I explained this correctly.  My husband and I were arguing over my step daughter and on Friday decided to come home and tell me he was going to take her to Disneyland with his brother's family and I was not invited.  On a normal day if this was something planned I would have just dealt with it.  This was not the case, we agreed that if were arguing and not happy we will not bring the children into it by taking off with them.  My stepdaughter had a softball game and a BIG project that is due on Wed. and I don't feel he was looking for her best interest, instead he was being selfish and thought he would just get out of the house and they would have a good time in Disneyland.  We just moved to another state 3 months ago and have no family or friends here so obviously things have been different trying to adjust.  Not using this as an excuse but I think our patience level is not to high right now.  I always believe that you need to clear the air or take care of your argument before you just leave otherwise you just come back to it when you return home and in our case this could be the same argument weeks later if it wasn't resolved.  I sure don't want to be childish but rather support there relationship.  I would just like to be given a heads up before taking off for a weekend trip its only out of respect to the other.  This is what I do and expect it in return. 

 
October 25, 2005, 5:26 am CDT

step mom says it all (step all over)

I have been a step mom for 3 1/2 years now i have a child the same age and we now have one together. MY step daughter along with his exwife and my mother-in-law have made things sooo hard. Her mom gets her every other weekend and it shows. She goes to school and tells lies about me thank god her teacher is also a step mom. When I meet them she was 5 not potty trained could not feed her self or dress and on and on. I have got her doing all that and she is a year behind in school everyone wants to baby her and it is making it worse for her. She is almost 9 and they want to keep her in the second all ready. She is very untrusting and my husband buys it all. Allows her to lie and doesnt  think its that bad. I on the other hand have had it and it is also hurting the other children in the house. I think if something doesnt change I will have to leave. I know she is a child but they learn very young how to be bad adults.
 
October 25, 2005, 6:59 am CDT

You're Not My Mom

Good Morning All, 

I am the step mom to a 17yr old son.  He has lived with his father and me for nearly 3 years now.  The first year and 1/2 -  we got along great.  I treated him like I do my other boys.  We have 5 kids in the house (4 boys - 17 soon to be 18, 17, 15, 12 and our little girl - 4yrs).  Things were great, the kids and I did things together as well as I did quite a bit for them - chauffering from ballgame to 4-H to band concerts, ect.. Then things changed for the worse around Christmas 2004.  The step son wanted to go to his bio mom's for Christmas (we live in Ohio).  The custody agreement is she pays for him to see her and we pay for the son that lives with her to see us.  She told the step son that she couldn't send him plane tickets because they wouldn't have any Christmas there.  My husband was away for nearly a month right after Thanksgiving to right before Christmas training for his new job and the step son turned into a Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde.  You couldn't talk to him, look at him, no contact period.  My boys got tired of his bad attitude and told me that they hoped he would go to his mom's and not come back.  He totally alienated everyone. His Dad didn't believe me when I told him all the crap we had to put up with while he was gone - he didn't even believe the other kids about how bad the SS behaved. Dad caved in and we ended up paying for him to go to his mom's and when he came back he had a lot of stuff she got him for Christmas and Christmas was slim for us since we sent him to Iowa.  (other kids were pretty resentful) Things did not get any better and they have deteroiated to the point that he totally ignores me.  If he wants something or to go somewhere he goes to his Dad and then it is up to me to get him from point A  to point B.  He will grumble at me "why didn't my dad come to get me or why isn't dad taking me to practice.  I really want to tell his Dad from now on - it is his responsibility to take the SS where he wants to go.  SS portrays me to be the Wicked Witch of the West because to use our vehicle or to go somewhere or get spending money I give him extra chores to pay for it.  (I do this for all the kids - I feel if they earn it they'll take better care of it or enjoy it more I know I did as a kid because I had a part-time job)  He refuses to get a part-time job, expects us to buy him a car (we have bought 2 which he blew the engines in both because he didn't take care of them) and provide him with the money to run and play all he wants.  He goes to Dad and whines about it until Dad tells him not to worry about it and lets him "off the hook" so to say.  This child turns 18 in about 2 months and will have some serious expenses coming up such as prom, spring formal, graduation, leaving for college and feels that it is our responsibility to take care of those expenses.  Yet the other 17 year old plays football, baseball and manages 3 part-time jobs during the summer to carry him thru the school year when he can only work 1 part-time job.  I have tried to talk to SS like I used to and he adopts the "you're an idiot" tone to his voice, or gives me the "I don't need this crap" attitude and goes to his room.  I am to the point I don't talk to him at all because it really hurts my feelings being the receiptient of such hostilities.  Even the rest of the kids notice his nasty attitude and grumble about it but nothing changes.  Dad has given him the you should treat others the way you want to be treated talk but nothing works.  This kid gets a 4.0 GPA at school has gotten awards for citizenship and whined about how the kids at school treat him really good but comes home and "everyone" is mean to him.  Somedays I wonder if he is doing drugs or what is going on his little world but whenever I approach him I am snarled at or he walks away mumbling.  ANY ADVICE...I am so miserable.  I try to be the adult but after a nearly a year and a half I am tired of trying.  Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a beat down step mom. 

 
October 26, 2005, 6:18 pm CDT

I'm with you...

Quote From: jcushing

First of all I want to Thank You for responding to my message and it definately is something to think about.  But, I don't know that I explained this correctly.  My husband and I were arguing over my step daughter and on Friday decided to come home and tell me he was going to take her to Disneyland with his brother's family and I was not invited.  On a normal day if this was something planned I would have just dealt with it.  This was not the case, we agreed that if were arguing and not happy we will not bring the children into it by taking off with them.  My stepdaughter had a softball game and a BIG project that is due on Wed. and I don't feel he was looking for her best interest, instead he was being selfish and thought he would just get out of the house and they would have a good time in Disneyland.  We just moved to another state 3 months ago and have no family or friends here so obviously things have been different trying to adjust.  Not using this as an excuse but I think our patience level is not to high right now.  I always believe that you need to clear the air or take care of your argument before you just leave otherwise you just come back to it when you return home and in our case this could be the same argument weeks later if it wasn't resolved.  I sure don't want to be childish but rather support there relationship.  I would just like to be given a heads up before taking off for a weekend trip its only out of respect to the other.  This is what I do and expect it in return. 

    I think, off the top of my head, that I would tell my husband to take his daughter and stay at Disneyworld  !  I can't imagine doing things separately from my husband. Something like a weekend, is made for families. Certainly after 5 years, she is as much yours as she is his. Am I missing something? Why would he even consider going without you?? I can understand just needing to be away from home because he's upset...OK, go to the park for the day, or go to a ball game for the day....But a weekend?   Hmm....Just reinforces that you are simply a stepmom.
 
October 27, 2005, 8:43 am CDT

Also a step-mom

Quote From: onlymom

I have been a step mom for 3 1/2 years now i have a child the same age and we now have one together. MY step daughter along with his exwife and my mother-in-law have made things sooo hard. Her mom gets her every other weekend and it shows. She goes to school and tells lies about me thank god her teacher is also a step mom. When I meet them she was 5 not potty trained could not feed her self or dress and on and on. I have got her doing all that and she is a year behind in school everyone wants to baby her and it is making it worse for her. She is almost 9 and they want to keep her in the second all ready. She is very untrusting and my husband buys it all. Allows her to lie and doesnt  think its that bad. I on the other hand have had it and it is also hurting the other children in the house. I think if something doesnt change I will have to leave. I know she is a child but they learn very young how to be bad adults.
Iam a stepmom of 2 plus years. When I first started my relationship w/ my husband his kids were 8 & 9.she the girl is a little handicapped wich both parents have spoiled her so rotten be cause of this. The boy who is now ten will poop in his pants even after I have him go sit on the toilet, but then he will walk around in his dirty underwear until you catch him. I asked my husband if this started when they got divorced. He said he did it before. He has been to many doctors to make sure nothing medical was wrong. I dont know what to do? I dont have kids of mine an I wanst able to even though I wanted one. About four months ago I told my husband I was ready for a divorce because his kids would disrespect me so bad. We are still working on this but it is improving every weekend. So if anybody has any advice for the problem with the boy that would be appreciated. Also ther is no sexuall abuse going on.????
 
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