Topic : Step-Parenting

To me it sounds strange to want to split up 2 girls. The 2 are sisters and how does it feel to the younger if mommy doesn't want her anymore!!! And the other girl might think daddy doesn't want her!! Maybe it is more common in the USA (I'm from the Netherlands) but to me that sounds strange.  

I can imaging you don't want to parent a young child anymore, so talk to your husband and say how you feel about it. Make sure both of you make a choice you can live with. Taking in a child that young means parenting a long time.... I'm step-mom to a 17 year old son who is living with us for 5 month now. But I don't parent him that much, it's his father task, haha. I raised my girls (20 and 23) so my job is done as a parent .... But we get along very good and he is a great help.  

greeting from The Netherlands.. Jikke 

I need advice from someone, anyone, who's been in this situation.   

I'm the single parent of two teens, a girl age 18 and a boy age 16.  My fiance has been living with us for the past 7 years and has basically been their "stepdad".  I don't know if it's because we've been locked up with nowhere to go because of  Hurricane Wilma hitting our area so hard or if it's just testosterone gone crazy.   

Yesterday, my son was playing his Xbox Live and getting heated over the moves others were making during play.  My fiance yelled at him to cut it out an to stop banging the controller on the floor before he breaks it.  Before I know it, my son is screaming "you're not my father!" and my fiance is cursing a blue streak aimed towards my son.  When I tried to intervene I was told point blank to mind my own business.  Then the Xbox is taken away by my fiance and I was told that because my son disrespected him, no online play for a week.  My opinion was not heard nor were my protests.  

Granted, my son was rude.  But my fiance feels he doesn't have to apologize for what he said.  I never spoke to my children in that manner.  When I tried talking to my fiance I was basically told that I would allow my kids to walk all over me.  That I turned a blind eye to their shortcomings.  I know everyone has their shortcomings and I know which are my kids, but they're basically good kids who help when asked.  They don't hang out, don't smoke, don't drink, don't curse in front of me (with their friends that's a different story).  What the heck happened to my family?  My fiance criticizes them for everything.  They can't dress a certain way, they can't do this they can't do that.  Yet when I'm approached by my kids and asked if they can call a friend for example and I say yes, my fiance gets all bent out of shape and says who am I to give permission.  He says no and that's that.  I've lost ocntrol of my authority.  Short of giving my fiance the boot, what can I do? 

HELP!  

I need advice from someone, anyone, who's been in this situation.   

I'm the single parent of two teens, a girl age 18 and a boy age 16.  My fiance has been living with us for the past 7 years and has basically been their "stepdad".  I don't know if it's because we've been locked up with nowhere to go because of  Hurricane Wilma hitting our area so hard or if it's just testosterone gone crazy.   

Yesterday, my son was playing his Xbox Live and getting heated over the moves others were making during play.  My fiance yelled at him to cut it out an to stop banging the controller on the floor before he breaks it.  Before I know it, my son is screaming "you're not my father!" and my fiance is cursing a blue streak aimed towards my son.  When I tried to intervene I was told point blank to mind my own business.  Then the Xbox is taken away by my fiance and I was told that because my son disrespected him, no online play for a week.  My opinion was not heard nor were my protests.  

Granted, my son was rude.  But my fiance feels he doesn't have to apologize for what he said.  I never spoke to my children in that manner.  When I tried talking to my fiance I was basically told that I would allow my kids to walk all over me.  That I turned a blind eye to their shortcomings.  I know everyone has their shortcomings and I know which are my kids, but they're basically good kids who help when asked.  They don't hang out, don't smoke, don't drink, don't curse in front of me (with their friends that's a different story).  What the heck happened to my family?  My fiance criticizes them for everything.  They can't dress a certain way, they can't do this they can't do that.  Yet when I'm approached by my kids and asked if they can call a friend for example and I say yes, my fiance gets all bent out of shape and says who am I to give permission.  He says no and that's that.  I've lost ocntrol of my authority.  Short of giving my fiance the boot, what can I do? 

HELP!  

I need help bad. I am a mother of 4 and my fiance has a daughter. His daughter doesnt want to share her room with my daughter. She lives in between here and her moms house. She is an only child and very selfish. She is 7 and so is my daughter. They play good together as long as they arent playing with his daughters stuff. She wont even let my daughter go in her room, but yet expects to be able to play with my daughters stuff.  

His daughter called tonight and said she doesnt want to share her room she wants to move her stuff to her moms house and my daughter can have her room. My thing is no you are gonna share your room. You both are gonna respect each others space and thats how it is gonna be. She needs to learn to share.  Easier to learn it now then later. Her mother is encouraging her behavior and i think its wrong. I need a few options to give her as choices. How can they share a room and each have their own space? How can i present to her the benifits of a family when she has never had one? SHe only sees she is losing out.  

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I need help bad. I am a mother of 4 and my fiance has a daughter. His daughter doesnt want to share her room with my daughter. She lives in between here and her moms house. She is an only child and very selfish. She is 7 and so is my daughter. They play good together as long as they arent playing with his daughters stuff. She wont even let my daughter go in her room, but yet expects to be able to play with my daughters stuff.  

His daughter called tonight and said she doesnt want to share her room she wants to move her stuff to her moms house and my daughter can have her room. My thing is no you are gonna share your room. You both are gonna respect each others space and thats how it is gonna be. She needs to learn to share.  Easier to learn it now then later. Her mother is encouraging her behavior and i think its wrong. I need a few options to give her as choices. How can they share a room and each have their own space? How can i present to her the benifits of a family when she has never had one? SHe only sees she is losing out.  

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Something else to consider....  Be careful how much power the adults give her when deciding whether or not she should continue sleeping over.  It's not her decision....  I feel it could set the stage for her to call the shots on how much she's willing participate in her new family.  She definitley deserves a lot of consideration to ease this adjustmentment period but she is still just a child that shouldn't have that much control over the whole families lives.