Topic : Step-Parenting

Poor little step daughter doesn't even get much contact with her Dad. She has sneaked calling him a couple of times. And I think she got caught and her Mom got on the phone and ragged my husband out. How she will never let Ashley around me again. And no Ashley don't know anything that I know of or my husband. My step daughter doesn't know anything about our lives right now. She don't know that we have moved or anything...We are not done with the court stuff. But as soon as we are were going to court for at least visitation. I really don't know it depends on how court goes. If I am found innocent than I am going to pray that the DA finds the truth and turns the tables on the people that did this to me. All this really is doing is causing psychological problems with Ashley me and her Dad. We are all so lost. His daughter obviously misses her Dad if she is sneaking on the phone to call him. But how would I know I don't know anything. I'm scared this woman did this to me in 2001 with her cousin and come to find out they dismissed the charges and the only thing else they have on her is welfare fruad but, that was dimissed also. Due to plea and abeyence...pay some restitution and she got out of it all.

What do I do about all of this? I just pray and pray and cry and scream and holler and pray and hope that I am going to be safe. All I want in life is to feel safe again. I don't want to look around my shoulders every time I turn around thinking I am going to get jumped. Or think I might run into Ashley and not know what to say or how to not show any emotion. I suppose it will all get better it has too. I can't deal with this any longer...

First of all, I've been married for 1 and a half year. Me and my husband both have kids he has 6 and I have 2. Only one of his kids live with us and he is 6years old. My daugher is six and my son nine. It seems as if the kids are dividing us. He lets his son get away with lots of things, he don't discipline him at all. When you mention it to him he says that he go do things the way he do. But his son is doing the same thing over and over again. For example, he starts spats with the kids, he always hits my older son and his father never says anything. His son and my son always argue. It's like a divided home bc he feels that i defend my child, ( i do sometimes bc my husband isnt fair with my children) He cater to his son, damn anybody else's feeling around him ( including mines). Don't get me wrong I love my husband and stepson, but it seems as if my husband takes his son side even if he is wrong. I tell him constantly that his child isn't the only child in the house, but his decisions on punnishment for my kid is harsh especially my son. But stepson can be bad at school and still get rewards, that isn't fair. My son has all A's in school and he is treated like his behavior is bad and school while stepson is treated like he has all A's. Just yesterday, my stepson hit my son and he does this often, he gets away with it. But anyways, my  son finally got fed up and hit him in the eye . I feel that they shouldn't fight but if you hvae someone constantly hitting you just bc he knows that he is going to get away with it, sometimes you have to take matters in you own hands. My husband didn't like that so he put my son in a head lock and hit him. I don't think that was right bc his son constantly starts stuff and when my son tells him its like he put a brick wall up bc he does nothing. What should I do bc my son has had so many things happen to him by stepson and his dad will not listen to my son at all. It's not fair. My son said he wish that it could be just me, him and his sister again,  and I agreed in my mind. My stepson don't have way listen to him so you know that I feel disrespected. He acts like a baby alot ,he has his dad wrapped around his little finger. I always tell his dad that every bad thing deserve consequences, instead he rewards for bad things as it may seems. I want to walk away from this relationship for other reasons more serious than this. My stepson is a piece of work. Every where that i take him is is rotten, I don't want to take him anywhere recreational anymore bc of it. don't get me wrong my kids can be a pain too but I discipline for wrong doing, they respect me and take me serious., stepson dont?What should I do, I am ready to leave this divided home bc I am tired of my husband doing my son wrong.

We only get one shot at this parenting gig and I am very aware of this! I have always tried to look at any situation first and then act if necessary. I married my second husband and before doing so I slowly introduced him to my then preschool children. Eventually we would spend whole weekends togeather and have 'family time'. We decided to move in togeather and marry. Before doing so I explained to my partner that he was taking on a whole package and all though painful for him I had to explain to him that although I love him completely, my children rely on me as their security and because of this I would have to always have their well being (emotional and physical) as my top priority. As you can imagine this was hard for him to hear and did not go down well; it was difficult for him to understand as he had no children of his own and to him I was his number 1. Ever since we moved our life to be with him he has not put in the same effort as he had when we were a 'weekend family'. He is a good man and very loyal but he has not opened his heart to my kids and can be quit cold and harsh; he keeps an emotional distance that has caused my kids pain, I know this as they talk to me about it on many occasions. We now have our own child and he is a very devoted Dad. But there remains this huge distance between the older two and him. I feel stuck  and disapointed. Family counselling is not an option as he says we can figure it out ourselves, but how can we if he wont open up and talk to me, admit any part in this or even want my kids around? I ask him if he loves them or even likes them, he says yes; I just don't know? Part of the reason I left my first husband was because the relationship was volatile and abusive, I did not want my girls to think that is what they could expect. We are generally a 'good' family with one huge fault, we lack the closeness and bond of a STRONG family. Like I said we only get one shot at this important job and I feel like I am failing my kids because I can't figure out how to make this better.