Topic : Step-Parenting

I have a 10 year old daughter and a 7year old stepson who fight all the time. This past weekend my daughter got almost got a broke arm from them fighting.  I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any sugestions? This is very hard on our family. I love my husband and step children very much but the fighting has to stop. I am an only child and only have 1 child so I'm new at fighting siblings.

This marriage will not last under these rules. Perhaps then the daughter will be able to spend time with her father....he will be very free.

hi,

I'm a stepmom to 3 little girls(12,10, and 7). My husband and myself live in another state to which the girls live. He sees them maybe once a year. We just recently moved within 6 hours from them. When we pick them up they fight constantly in the car on the way back to our home. They fight the entire time they are visiting us.  My husband allows them to do whatever they want to in our home. He feels he rarely sees them so he doesn't want to seem to be a bad dad. He NEVER disciplines. We have them sometimes a month.We have talked about the disciplining thing and he just cries. He wants me to do the disciplining because he cannot bring himself to do it. The girls are extremely picky when they eat. They don't like the way I cook. My husband makes them something different. He spends so much of our money on them we barely survive when they leave. Now he just decided he wants them for Thanksgiving. Their mother has already told them they probably will come to our home.. Someone please give me advice how to handle this. I feel it might turn into the same fighting it always is. They probably won't eat what I cook on Thanksgiving.

                       In need of Help

Hi all....what a relief to find I am not alone!

I am a mother of an 11 year old boy and live with my partner who has a 7 year old boy. Before I met my new partner I shared custody of my son with my ex. When I met my partner I moved to a different town and my son was adamant he did not want to move and ended up just visiting me at weekends, despite pleas from me to come with me as the new town has better schools, facilities etc. My son behaved extremely badly in the first year of me moving and was horrible to me but now enjoys spending time with me and my partner in the new town. 

The problem is that now I only seem to need to discipline my son when he is with my new partner's son (which is the majority of the time). Although my son is a pain at times, my new partner fails to realise that his son can be just as naughty so all the blame rests with my son and he is constantly on my case to tell him off when half the time its not his fault. He seems to have forgotten that siblings do fight and that we should not always get involved. I feel that he is always favouring his son and that my son doesnt get a look in because he is always 'in the dog house' and my partner blames his bad behaviour on me rather than my ex (who never tells him off, and panders to him even when he is naughty). I feel as though I am constantly either defending or telling off my son and its an endless struggle to keep the peace. I know that my son is no angel and I am the first to tell him off if he is in the wrong but sometimes it seems that nothing he can do is right. I feel sad that my current partner cant forget how badly my son behaved to begin with because now things are a million times better but he still constantly picks holes in my sons behaviour, even the silliest things- which would be ignored if his own son were doing them.

Hey, all -

I have been married to my husband for almost a year and a half.  He has 3 kids (20, 16 and 11).  The younger 2 are home and here 100% of the time.  Their mother left 4 years ago and never contacts them.  I understand that he spent all his time with them during the difficult time after his divorce, but I am left feeling like I have to fight for any of his time.  His first thought is always to spend time with the kids and they follow him around every move he makes.  The younger one even comes to our door 2 or 3 times when his dad is in the bathroom to check on where he is. My husband says he has room in his life/heart for me, but I don't know that he does.  It takes a blow up to get his attention and get him to start spending some time with me.  That lasts a couple of weeks and then it's back to the same old thing.  I don't get his full attention until bedtime and by then he's too tired for ANYTHING.... I mean anything!!!!

I end up feeling like a bad person because this makes me resent the kids.  Anyone else out there in a similar situation?

Thanks.

The first thing that you should have remembered while going into this relationship with this man is that you will have to accept him and the package that comes along with him. this means his children! Im sure that you knew ahead of time,before things got heavy with the both of you that he was a single parent. and by you knowing that and willing to go ahead with you guys relationship anyway,you were willing to take that step and accept not only HIM but his children as well. a child is a parents first priority,especially if it's a parent absent from home. I have 3 children myself and Im also a single mother and I let a person know ahead of time that my kids are the most important people in my life and if your not willing to accept that,then we have nothing in common!

Maybe you,as the step parent should probably take a more serious role in the kids life. take time to spend time with them like he do. that way,while he's spending time with his kids instead of you feeling left out,join! and you all could spend time with one another. no envy the children because their father is all they have. engage and you'll see how things will change.