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Topic : 04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 290
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:14:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcements today – Robin joins him in answering your questions. First, Joan is single and in her 60s. She admits that she lies about her age while dating online, because she believes if she told the truth, she would only get responses from men in their 90s. Dr. Phil puts potential suitors to the test to see if Joan's theory is right. Next, Brian says it's time for his wife, Cristi, to stop dressing their son in “girlie,” “foo-foo outfits.” Did Dr. Phil disapprove of the way Robin dressed Jay and Jordan? Then, a mother of two insists on having girls’ night out, but her husband says that 4:00 a.m. is way too late to come home. What's really at the heart of their issue? And, a mother who took away the keys to her son’s motorcycle wants to know if she should give them back. Plus, does Dr. Phil ever do anything wrong? Robin spills his secrets. And, find out what beauty product Robin wears that stays on all day. Join the discussion.

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April 18, 2006, 2:17 pm CDT

emotional and lost

dr. phil, i have a question for you.  i have one older brother and 2 younger brothers.  my mother treats them so much more different than me.  my oldest brother has his own business. but my first younger brother has 2 children.  i gave birth to my moms first grandchild.  for the first few weeks after i gave birth she helped me out so much.  she let me and my boyfriend stay at her house for 2 weeks so she could help us.  that was what she wanted us to do.  but when my brother had his 2 children, she doesnt have much to do with my daughter anymore.  i get the impression that my daughter is a bother to my parents when i bring her to see them.  they dont attempt to come to see her or me and we just live 10 minutes up the road from her.  she passes by my house on her way home everyday and she doesnt stop.  is there some thing that im doing wrong.  she doesnt make me feel welcome or my fiance' when we come to visit her house.  she tells me that its all in my head and i need to see a psychiatrist.  is this true.  she told me when i was in the military that i wasnt going to make it.  she has never told me how prowd she is of me,  for anything ive done.  to me it seems like my oldest and my first youngest brothers are her favorites out of all four of us.  i dont know what ive done to deserve to be treated like the outcast of the family.  but im at the point where i dont want to visit her because i dont feel welcome, and i dont want her to treat my child like she doesnt belong there.  i have tried to talk to her but when i do she says its my fault, its in my head, and that she doesnt treat us like that.  what should i do dr. phil.  p.s.  i love your show and i watch it every day.  thanks,  confused about family.
 
April 18, 2006, 2:21 pm CDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: frances35

I was so surprised that Robin did not speak up as true "Southern Girl" at heart about the little boy's clothes.   Any true "Southern Lady" knows that little boys dress in smocked clothes from boutiques in John-Johns, bubble suits, long-alls, and short-alls.  The rule of thumb is that little boys wear these clothes as their "Sunday Best" until they are potty-trained, which on average should be when they are about 2 1/2 years old.   They do not have self-awareness at this point, but other "Southern Ladies" do have awareness.  Save The Gap, Old Navy, Lands End, and Abercrombie and Fitch for them as they get three-years-old and older.   However, a born and bred Southern Lady always dresses her little boys in these nice clothes that are usually hand-made and smocked with love, or from Kelly's Kids, Ragsland, or other clothing lines who recognize "nice" Southern culture.   These clothes are certainly not "girly" but just the Southern way of appropriately dressing a little boy.   This is also something prominent in a higher socio-economic status and considered to be "up-scale clothing".  This has been a Southern tradition of dressing little boys for a long time and many clothing lines take heed to this and make lots of money from these "Heirloom" types of clothing.  Perhaps the rest of the world needs some "Southern Culture" to appreciate, but if not, then don't knock it just because a person doesn't appreciate it like true upscale Southerners!
Is that the way most people dress their boys in the south _now_? I think our country is getting more and more blended for many reasons, the internet being a huge reason.

Southern or not, most people don't dress their boys like that anymore...maybe I'm completely wrong...but obviously since she has gotten comments from people it might be an idea of the past.

There is nothing inherently wrong with dressing a boy like that. But that woman isn't raising her son in a vacuum.
 
April 18, 2006, 2:23 pm CDT

Motorcycle

The southern young man with the motorcycle worries me. He has chosen to buy for a first bike one of the fastest machines on the market, what we call in the south a crotch rocket. These bikes are very unsafe and in my opinion are designed to entrap a rider. The rider, when aboard the bike fits within the contour of the bike. If the bike wrecks and slides on its side the rider will not usually be thrown from the bike but actually drug along with it until it stops. My son in law was killed last year from the inexperience of riding this type of bike. My advise is to buy something that is not so powerful, ride it for a couple of years then if you must, buy a crotch rocket. Doctor Phil this like going from a Volkswagon to a Lambroghini or from a 100sl honda to a 250 elsenore. This boy will get seriously enjured or killed from riding this bike as a first bike. I have like you Dr. Phil ridden bikes since I was 15 years old and the safest thing to ride is a dirt bike although I own a BMW and Yamaha street bike. The thing to stress is to ride on the street, if you must, just for wind in you face not for the horsepower beneath you.. Sam Pardue
 
April 18, 2006, 2:29 pm CDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: frances35

I was so surprised that Robin did not speak up as true "Southern Girl" at heart about the little boy's clothes.   Any true "Southern Lady" knows that little boys dress in smocked clothes from boutiques in John-Johns, bubble suits, long-alls, and short-alls.  The rule of thumb is that little boys wear these clothes as their "Sunday Best" until they are potty-trained, which on average should be when they are about 2 1/2 years old.   They do not have self-awareness at this point, but other "Southern Ladies" do have awareness.  Save The Gap, Old Navy, Lands End, and Abercrombie and Fitch for them as they get three-years-old and older.   However, a born and bred Southern Lady always dresses her little boys in these nice clothes that are usually hand-made and smocked with love, or from Kelly's Kids, Ragsland, or other clothing lines who recognize "nice" Southern culture.   These clothes are certainly not "girly" but just the Southern way of appropriately dressing a little boy.   This is also something prominent in a higher socio-economic status and considered to be "up-scale clothing".  This has been a Southern tradition of dressing little boys for a long time and many clothing lines take heed to this and make lots of money from these "Heirloom" types of clothing.  Perhaps the rest of the world needs some "Southern Culture" to appreciate, but if not, then don't knock it just because a person doesn't appreciate it like true upscale Southerners!

You are so right!!  This lady needs some support from us southern gals since she didn't get it from Robin.  We mothers of boys only have a narrow window of time before our darlings are dressing in all camo.  I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what this child was wearing - he was adorable!   

 
April 18, 2006, 2:39 pm CDT

Little boy in "dresses"???, come on!!!

     I dressed my two little boy, how 30 and 32 years old, in rompers untill they were potty trained, sometime between 2 1/2 and 3 years old.   They looked so much neater in them.  Their little (what I call beer bellies) didn't stick out, as most little ones have.  I am from the mid-west, not from the south either.  I even sewed some one-piece outfits myself.  I also liked to have snaps between the legs so it was easier to change them.
 
April 18, 2006, 2:42 pm CDT

Come on down and take a look!

Quote From: purplepain

Is that the way most people dress their boys in the south _now_? I think our country is getting more and more blended for many reasons, the internet being a huge reason.

Southern or not, most people don't dress their boys like that anymore...maybe I'm completely wrong...but obviously since she has gotten comments from people it might be an idea of the past.

There is nothing inherently wrong with dressing a boy like that. But that woman isn't raising her son in a vacuum.
Come on down and take a look on Sunday mornings at any church in the South---not Texas, and see the nice clothes that little boys wear.   Yes, little boys are CURRENTLY dressing in beautiful, heirloom clothing.
 
April 18, 2006, 3:18 pm CDT

HOLY CRAP!

Quote From: tnrunr

You are so right!!  This lady needs some support from us southern gals since she didn't get it from Robin.  We mothers of boys only have a narrow window of time before our darlings are dressing in all camo.  I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what this child was wearing - he was adorable!   

I agree that little boys can/should be dressed in clean, bright, attractive clothing, but good grief, ladies. Not everyone needs to dress their children in handmade clothing--and not everyone can afford to dress them in such designer duds. I think support  can be offered minus just a *little* of the condescension/ignorance your post shows. I grew up wearng hand-me-downs (often my brothers) and it didn't make me a lesbian! Even though I am a "damn yank"....  Be careful of those stereotypes, my dear.
 
April 18, 2006, 3:28 pm CDT

Reply

Quote From: atzd123

 OK, I'll admit, I'm not exactly sure what the show is about, but I already have to disagree with Dr. Phil.  There is obviously one woman on the show who's husband has issues with the fact that she dresses her baby boy "girly".  I want to tell her to go ahead and continue, hopefully some others will follow.  For some reason we Americans think we have to dress our girls in pink head to toe, and our boys like mini high school dropouts.  Take a look at the boys section in most mass retailers.  You'll find pants in a choice of: jeans, kakhis, navy and if you're lucky a green one.  Then you'll find shirts with trucks, shirts with dinosours, and possibly a camaflouge one.  First of all it's boring, second of all he'll be dressing like that when he's 10.  A baby should be in cute clothes.  I learned after my son was born that if I want him to look pretty I'll have to stick to European clothes for the most part.  I dressed him in the most adorable boys clothes I could find.  Shshshs: some even had flowers!  And you know what?  He turned out fine.  He's a wonderful well adjusted 8 year old, who likes "cool" clothes.  I like sweet, delicate clothes on babies, both boys and girls.  (If only the big retailers would carry nicer clothes for boys I wouldn't have had to spend that much money.)

It's not about you and what you think society should accept. It's about a little boy who is in THIS society which happens to think boys should look like "boys" and girls should look like "girls" (although girls have much more freedom when it comes to fashion than boys). Dr. Phil didn't tell the woman she was wrong. He simply stated the facts....get the boy karate lessons because she is setting him up to be picked on. I don't know about you, but I am a mother of a boy AND a girl. I don't want to make life any harder for them than it already is. If my son wants to wear GIRLY CLOTHING (foo-foo stuff) than that's fine with me. However, this is about what the MOTHER wants and not what is best for her young son. This mother's son is NOT a baby; he's a toddler of 2.5 years. Her problem is that she is trying to keep him her "baby" for longer than his actual age dictates! 

 
April 18, 2006, 3:31 pm CDT

Reply

Quote From: vclausen1

Dear Robin: 

  

I figured since you are a mother this question would be appropriate for you. I've been an atheist for a while now, and I'm afraid to tell my mother because she's very religious. I still live at home, and we don't go to church often, if ever, which makes it easy for me. Lately she's been asking me to attend church with her but I just don't know what to say. What should I do? 

  

Vanessa 

I am a former Atheist (although I am not Robin). What would be wrong with doing something special for your mother such as attending church with her? You don't have to believe. You just need to know that it's GREAT do put oneself out for others and do what they want to do every so often. It won't hurt you (you won't get struck by lightening when you enter the church:) and your own mother doesn't need to be told where you stand on religion UNLESS she asks. Most mothers who suspect that their children are doing something they don't/won't like don't really want to know anyway! I would say "do the Christian thing" and put a smile on your mother's face by attending with her (she may be lonely and just want company because she loves you). You can be nice as an Atheist, too; I know I was!
 
April 18, 2006, 3:38 pm CDT

Stereotype

Quote From: evitalynn

I agree that little boys can/should be dressed in clean, bright, attractive clothing, but good grief, ladies. Not everyone needs to dress their children in handmade clothing--and not everyone can afford to dress them in such designer duds. I think support  can be offered minus just a *little* of the condescension/ignorance your post shows. I grew up wearng hand-me-downs (often my brothers) and it didn't make me a lesbian! Even though I am a "damn yank"....  Be careful of those stereotypes, my dear.
Yes, I am defending the previous posts.  I think the only stereotype that exists speaks for itself from your post entitled "Holy Crap".    This in itself is sacrireligious, which is irreverance toward God.   I don't think anyone is condemning hand-me-downs or lesbians but simply making others aware that the little boy's clothing is appropriate for his age and is regarded to be very nice clothing in the South on Sunday mornings at church.  And, hey, hey; it's not necessary to name-call and say that those who support that feeling are ignorant; the only ignorance seems to lie among you uneducated and uncultured regarding boys' clothing.
 
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