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Topic : 04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:14:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcements today – Robin joins him in answering your questions. First, Joan is single and in her 60s. She admits that she lies about her age while dating online, because she believes if she told the truth, she would only get responses from men in their 90s. Dr. Phil puts potential suitors to the test to see if Joan's theory is right. Next, Brian says it's time for his wife, Cristi, to stop dressing their son in “girlie,” “foo-foo outfits.” Did Dr. Phil disapprove of the way Robin dressed Jay and Jordan? Then, a mother of two insists on having girls’ night out, but her husband says that 4:00 a.m. is way too late to come home. What's really at the heart of their issue? And, a mother who took away the keys to her son’s motorcycle wants to know if she should give them back. Plus, does Dr. Phil ever do anything wrong? Robin spills his secrets. And, find out what beauty product Robin wears that stays on all day. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 18, 2006, 5:28 pm PDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: poundcl

Sure her husband gets a say in how the child dresses, just as soon as he starts helping bathe and dress the child on a regular basis.  Until then...Mom gets to choose!   

I didn't see in the show where he doesn't do those things, it's possible I missed it.

And I don't think that is a valid rule at all anyway.

But on a side note, not all men are uninvolved in baby clothes and baths and such. My husband bathes my daughter all the time and he has favorite outfits of hers.

I have mean feminist streek but I think my husband gets a say in how my daughter is dressed as much as I do whether he bathes her or not.
 
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April 18, 2006, 5:43 pm PDT

Oh, Come on!!

Quote From: poundcl

Sure her husband gets a say in how the child dresses, just as soon as he starts helping bathe and dress the child on a regular basis.  Until then...Mom gets to choose!   

I feed my children most of their meals....can I feed them whatever I want despite my husband's concerns?  Since I would like chocolate to be a vegetable, I could have a lot of fun here!!! 

  

As a SAHM, I do most of the discipline, guess Dad has no say in that either! 

  

I will be the one driving my son to preschool each day.....can I pick the school without my husband's input....regardless of cost, religious affiliation, etc.? 

  

We complain when Dad's don't plug in enough, then we tune them out when they don't agree with us? 

 

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April 18, 2006, 5:55 pm PDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: julie1418

I feed my children most of their meals....can I feed them whatever I want despite my husband's concerns?  Since I would like chocolate to be a vegetable, I could have a lot of fun here!!! 

  

As a SAHM, I do most of the discipline, guess Dad has no say in that either! 

  

I will be the one driving my son to preschool each day.....can I pick the school without my husband's input....regardless of cost, religious affiliation, etc.? 

  

We complain when Dad's don't plug in enough, then we tune them out when they don't agree with us? 

EXCELLENT point!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I don't have anything to add other then I wanted to make my agreement with you "outloud"...
 
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April 18, 2006, 5:55 pm PDT

4/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin Topic Lie

I do not believe in lying.  I actually believe in being painfully honest.  That being said, I understand the frustration of  the 66 year old woman.   I am 44 and most of  the men my age state they want 20-something and the men 20 years older than me want to tell me they are only 10 years older.  So far, the men around my age that have contacted me just want a booty call.  One wanted me available in the mornings for a booty call.  If I were desperate or had low self esteem I can see how the online site interaction could devestate someone or just make them give up on trying to find something real.   

   

The reason I prefer the age range of 45-55 is I want someone who is experiencing the same things in the life cycle I am.  I really don't want to start over with young children again(my daughter is in college) and I don't want to start dating someone that is retired and I have to work the next 20 years and while they party.  My goal is to work while they work and start the retirement partying around the same time.  However, guys apparently do not think that way(or at least the ones I am coming in contact with).   

   

   

   

   

 
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April 18, 2006, 6:04 pm PDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: stac_andy

 Dear Dr. Phil,
I was ust woundering about something.  How is a homeless person to get help when no one wants to help them? I mean Does everyone think that everyone that lives on the street asks to be there? Does everyone think that ALL people that are homeless do drugs and drinks wine coolers, beer, and so on?

Ok cause here is the thing. my boyfriend and I have been homeless and living from one place to another and the thing that gets me is that everyone thinks it's easy and that a person can get a job with in a couple days.  The other thing I can't get is that with the Social Scerity Disability thing is that people that lie and say they can't work are usually the ones that can but yet when there is someone that actually can't work in the work field they have one heack of a battle to try to get it. I know 2 people where I live who I know can actually work. I mean they have no phyical or mental disabilities and they can keep reciving their checks each month and here is my boyfriend who can't work at all fighting for his life to get it and they keep denying him like crazy.  I just don't get why  the people who are honest about stuff  just don't get  any where in life and no one won't help them, but yet  all the people that lies all the time  always get what they want.

Dr. Phil  I just don't understand all of this. Please Help.  The good honest Christian get's  nothing when they need help but a sinner  who lies to get stuff  always get  what they ask  from who ever they  ask.  When will the merical of my boyfriend and I get the help that we need?  The only ones I see getting any help are the people that either has kids or already have money and have no values in their life.  Any info. out there on all or any of this I would like to know and be able to understand all of this. Any info I can get would be nice.  PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Thanks Dr. Phil

There are a great deal of jobs openings out there! It depends upon  what one may be willing to do. to earn an honest dollar. Most fast food locations, Mini-marts/Gas-Stations and Department stores in our area. are hiring. There seems to be a "NOW HIRING" sign on every corner  and in most store windows.. You do not need a college diploma to qualify for this type of job.  

Your friend could apply for  SSI while waiting for Disability. That is if he qualifies. for SSI..  

If your Friend is truly disabled and qualifies for  Social Security Disability or SSI. Some State will help you with education assistance..Some states pay  for College class credits (as long as you pass the class)  The state covers the cost of your books, child care and tutoring if needed..Some states pay more some sates pay less.  

I am totally disabled and am on Social Security Disability I know for certain that Social Security Disability  allow disabled person's to "earn"  $800 per month above their disability check. I have MS & several other medical problems. I get into my motorized wheelchair , ride the ramp into my my handicapped equipped van and ride off to earn a little extra money.     

 My  husband was  injured in an accident while doing volunteer work at our Church. He fell and broke his rotor cuff, broke ribs, hit his head  as well as other less severe injuries.   

The Rotator Cuff  injury required two surgeries and he now has less than only 70% use of his arm. The Carpenter's Union disabled him and advised that he apply for Social Security Disability. He was given Social Security Disability about six months after he applied.  

I think that their is more to your story than meets the eye. Tell your man to Quit feeling sorry for himself!  ! If he qualifies for Social Security, he may have to apply twice, but "IF HE IS TOTALLY DISABLED, "HE" WILL RECEIVE HIS BENEFITS!"    

Also,,Don't'  judge people who do not look disabled unless you have walked in their shoes. Social Security keeps  good Tabs on those  who receive funds. .     

 It certainly sounds like someone is jealous of disabled persons or anyone who has a penny more than they may!.. I tell you, I would much rather my husband worked 6 more years and not lost six years of person, retirement, annuity and income! Furthermore, I could have earned a great deal more working the last 15 years than being sick  and in pain!. I suggest you open your Bible and read about the root of bitterness and jealousy!  Thank God the two of you have what you have. You both have been Blessed with what you have. Believe me,things can, could and may get worse! Maybe God to trying to teach you and your friend humility or patience, what do you think?  

 
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April 18, 2006, 6:09 pm PDT

rude husband

Quote From: purplepain

I am so sorry your husband is doing that to you. I'm not one for fancy table manners and all that, but blowing your nose at the table, ESPECIALLY since you asked him repeatedly, is nasty and rude and sick.

You want my advice? Next time he blows his nose while you are cooking stop cooking and refuse to finish.

Next time he blows his nose while you are eating refuse to finish eating.

If he does it in public, get up and leave.

Sounds harsh but every time you accept this HORRID behavior you are telling him something HUGE about yourself.

Take a stand, might seem like a little thing to get so mad about but THAT is the point...it's a small thing and he should be willing to bend on that.
The next time he blows his nose over the food ,just put it on his plate and serve yourself something else.After several meals   he will get the message.
 
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April 18, 2006, 6:11 pm PDT

A question for Robin

My husband passed almost 2 years ago from suicide and I have been on one of the dating sites for probably 6 months.  My daughter thought I needed to get back out and participate in life.  As they say out of the mouths of babes(even if they are in college).

  

I have made it through the past couple of years keeping busy with working, remodeling a couple of houses(I thought is was cheaper than therapy), recording Dr. Phil(also free therapy) and watching it daily.  I think I am ready to start dating again.  I am trying but I don't remember how or I just need to learn a new way.  I know that I don't want to grow old alone but I also know that the way it really works right is to be friends first.  I guess I have always been a contradiction or just plain confused(I am an RN and an electrical engineer). 

  

I agree that Sumner seemed nice but I would want to know if we at least shared some of the same interests.  You have an objective point of view am I looking at things the right way or am I getting old and just need to get over it and loosen up?    

  

  

  

  

  

 

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April 18, 2006, 6:12 pm PDT

Sure he gets a say ...

Quote From: julie1418

I feed my children most of their meals....can I feed them whatever I want despite my husband's concerns?  Since I would like chocolate to be a vegetable, I could have a lot of fun here!!! 

  

As a SAHM, I do most of the discipline, guess Dad has no say in that either! 

  

I will be the one driving my son to preschool each day.....can I pick the school without my husband's input....regardless of cost, religious affiliation, etc.? 

  

We complain when Dad's don't plug in enough, then we tune them out when they don't agree with us? 

Nope, your husband gets a say since it is his money that is paying for the food, daycare etc since you are a SAHM.  JUST KIDDING!!!  I think SAHMs have the hardest job in the world!  My only point was if Dad doesn't like it then maybe he should take a more proactive role rather than just complaining.  Maybe Mom would be more willing to compromise if Dad actually made the effort to go out and purchase clothes he wants the child to wear, bathe him and dress him.  Cristi obviously works very hard and takes a lot of pride in being a mom and dad's not being very supportive of her efforts! 
 
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April 18, 2006, 6:21 pm PDT

Separation Anxiety

I am in need of some advice. As a teacher of children with learning challenges I find myself to be a patient person. However, I am having difficulty with my 13 month old son. I was able to take a year off to spend it with him. I have noticed that since his birth he has had issues with separating from me. I had to force him onto his Daddy so that they were more comfortable together. I am now in the process of going back to work. We have enrolled him in the same daycare that my daughter attended. We started with 1 hour a day, then half a day, and even tried a full day. He cries from the moment that I leave him until I pick him up. He even went on a hunger strike. Our doctor adviced us to remove him from daycare until his weight gain had improved. I have tried all the tricks that I know. Singing songs, silly goodbyes, staying and playing, etc. Now that his weight is almost back to his 1 year milestone (he had lost almost 2 pounds), we are getting ready to try daycare again. Though we are in need of some serious advice on what to do now. Can someone help us?
 

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April 18, 2006, 6:25 pm PDT

04/18 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: poundcl

Nope, your husband gets a say since it is his money that is paying for the food, daycare etc since you are a SAHM.  JUST KIDDING!!!  I think SAHMs have the hardest job in the world!  My only point was if Dad doesn't like it then maybe he should take a more proactive role rather than just complaining.  Maybe Mom would be more willing to compromise if Dad actually made the effort to go out and purchase clothes he wants the child to wear, bathe him and dress him.  Cristi obviously works very hard and takes a lot of pride in being a mom and dad's not being very supportive of her efforts! 
I don't want to start a fight, but...how do you know he's not being very supportive?

He just DISAGREE'S...that isn't unsupportive, that is having a different opinion. He thinks his son looks like a girl and his opinion isn't insane or strange, a lot of people agree with him. He doesn't like it.

This woman spends hours online looking for these froo-froo clothes, this isn't just about her having pride in being a mom, this is a hobby and she's dressing her dolly.

My daughter has about a fifth the clothes that little boy has! This is an obsession and a hobby.

And I personally don't equate dressing a child up with being a good mom. I'm not saying that Cristi isn't a good mom, I'm sure she is, but dressing her child up in doll-ish clothes doesn't make the mark of a good mom!
 
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