Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

SHANNON I DO APPOLOGIZE TO YOU FIRST THAT YOU HAVE HAD THE FAMILY LIFE THAT YOU HAVE. YOUR PARENTS REALLY ARE MISSING THE MARK THAT THEY ARE THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY, ESPECIALLY THE STEP MOTHER WHO IS SHE? TO MOVE TO OUT OF YOUR ROOM FOR HER DAUGHTER. AND YOUR FATHER SUPPORTS EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND SAYS LIKE SHE CONTROLS HIM. I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY BUT THEY NEED SOME OWNERSHIP FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND THAT STEP MOTHER NEEDS TO LEARN WHEN TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT! HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. ALSO DAD PLEASE OWN YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS TOO SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER. THERE MAY BE NO TOMORROW REMEMBRE THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN THERE.

I BELIEVE THAT THE STEPMOTHER IS THE PROBLEM FOR SHANNON. I BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS ALIENATED HER FATHER AND SISTER FROM HER. ALL OF THE THINGS THAT SHANNON HAS GONE THROUGH ARE HORRIFIC AND SHE IS ACTING OUT. I WOULD ALSO BE UPSET, IF ANOTHER WOMAN MOVED IN AND REPLACED MY MOTHERS PICTURES, AFTER SHE PASSED AWAY. I THINK HILLARY WANTS TO CONTROL THIS FAMILY, AND I THINK SHE HAS THE FATHER CONVINCED THAT SHANNON IS ALL THE TROUBLE. DR. PHIL SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HILLARY A PIECE OF HIS MIND. I THINK SHE IS THE NASTY PERSON BEHIND THIS STORY

Can we say scapegoat?!  Good Lord.

 

The only thing wrong with that girl is a small minded belief system.  You have to feel bad for the father in some respects.  He seems to be trying with what tools he has but geez, everybody just needs to chill out and let the girl breathe in a sane atmosphere.

I am exceptionally angry right now. Those parents are SOMETHING ELSE! I am so tired of parents/step-parents complaining about problems with their children when they are the one's who set the standard. If a child is troubled or angry and acting out--THERE IS A REASON! The worst thing to do is attack the child and their behavior, without finding out what is going on with the poor child. The entire time Shannon was attacked and abused emotionally, and the step-mother was using every opportunity she could to say what a terrible person she was, how bad her grades were, wain wain wain. Unbelievable. Are those people even capable of love? True love never gives up. It loves people through their worst. And obviously Shannon was giving her worst but was also feeling her worst. They decided to turn against her instead of embrace her and love her until she was healed. I wish people would stand up and be parents, be adults, love without condition, love through people's disgusting actions, and make them feel safe. Shannon probably acted out because she was the oldest one who felt she needed to maintain the love of their mother. And because of that she was misunderstood...well frankly, no one even seemed to try to understand her...they just abandoned her. These people need serious help. Children need a safe place, where they feel loved, cared for, respected and valued, with value placed on their values...especially the home where their mother lived. Unbelievable. God help us.

If it wasn't so crushing to watch it would be comical.  Denial. Denial. Denial.

 

To move in six months after the girls' mother died, strip the walls of her mothers photo (Narcisism?  Who was the one with the 3 X 2 foot picture of herself on the wall?) and shipped Shannon off to a home for troubled girls.   To then pretend that they haven't contributed to her anger...crazy.  Of course Shannon is angry.  Who wouldn't be.

 

And any woman who would say 'I wouldn't cry if she died' is evil.  Shannon is a young woman who has had a lot of tough stuff to deal with.

 

I just wish Shannon's father would grab some integrity and some b-lls, and treat his daughter with respect.

 

 

I wish Dr. Phil would have told these parents straight up. They are most of the problem. Poor girl. her mother died and her stepmother replaced her mother only 6 months after!! No wonder she is angry. Her stepmother is also very negative and seems hateful. I hope this girl gets help and support. her real sister should reach out to her and be kind to her as much as she can. I can not believe the things I heard. I am so sorry for this poor girl. NO matter how she yells and all, her parents should recognize what they are doing wrong.

Read the article on page 67 of the Aug issue of Real Simple and ask yourself.....might the parents be right.....might you have been conned.  I am a grown woman who was also (like the author of that article) raised by a narcissist.  It was awful.  She was so situaltionally nice to strangers and so mean and hurtful to me and my father.  You can't tell me, like you told those parents, that I was contributing to the situation.  I was a little girl, five or six before I noticed the hurtful manipultion but probably much younger when it started.  I am fine now but had to distance myself emotionally from her.  Unfortunately, those parents can't do that.....although they have tried to get her help.  It is so sad for them.  My heart goes out to them because the narcissist is so manipulative and intelligent and will say anything to get sympathy on her side that it is impossible to make someone else understand how cruel they are.  Dr. Phil's responses will just empower her to continue her behavior.  Dr. Phil said that there must be a cause for the bad behavior in the home situation because it happens there.  Human beings have free will and she may just be CHOOSING that behavior there.  I have a friend, recently divorced, who faced the same awful abuse as these parents might be experiencing.  Everyone who met this woman's husband thought he was a great guy but at home he was emotionally and verbally abusive.  So was she causing herself to be abused?  Is that what you tell your abused guests Dr. Phil.  Narcissism is just another form of abuse and it is very insideous.  With the help of friends, priests and the local woman's crisis center my friend understands now that the abuse was not her fault.  I hope these parents can get more sympathetic help elsewhere.

I've nevered bothered to ever post anything before. But I hope Shannon's parents read this. You need to get some professional help, yourself. Being a parent means being involved and when a child acts out or struggles in something and it is your job to help your child. It is clear that Shannon needs someone love and be concern for her. Being a parent you have to be involved and send a child away like that is no way to be there for them. Shannon is a lucky one, she hasn't turned to crime, drugs, or other things, she is hurting and apparently wasn't getting the attention she needed as a child. You did the easy thing, get your child away. Shame on you!!! My parents learned that the hard way though and it taught me alot of what I would do AND what should be done. My older sister's mother abandon her and our brother. When my father met my mother and married her, my sister had a hard time. So when her mother came backand wanted to take her, she wanted to go with her mommy so my dad so okay. Her mother's new husband raped her at 6 years old. When my dad found out he went to get her, but he didn't bring her home he put her in a foster home, because they would be able to help he emotionally. The foster father molested and raped her over and over again till she was 11 and an older girl came forward and then she came home. She needed to talk to someone and had noone. My mother wasn't interested and my dad worked all the time. When my sister had a problem she was sent to a mental hostipal. She was so messed up because of the abuse she suffered because my father did what Shannon's father is doing, not dealing with his own problems about not being there enough for his child. When we have children we have to be there or they get lost. Your lucky, nothing so horrible has happened to Shannon as it did to my sister. As an adult she is so messed up that most of the time you haven't been able to make sense of half of the things she says. She is an addicted and it breaks my heart to have seen everything that she was going through but was too young to be able to make a difference. Shannon is not going to be perfect no child is and her sister has a mouth just as bad from what I saw. Teenager's have a lot to go through. I hear the saying that families that pray together stay together. I don't believe that, what I do believe though is that "Families that come together and work through things together stay together. I can see why Shannon feels that her step-mom is turning everyone against her.

My youngest daughter's father died when she was just 16 months old. I am now married and even though my husband is daddy to her, she knows her biological daddy. She has photos of him and I take extra care in perserving those things for my child. How could her father let those things happen to her memories of her mother. No One can ever totally replace her. I am a young mother a lot younger than either of you and I know that. How can you have a child and not know.... But I see from this show that some people just don't get it. Shannon has things she needs to work on, so she not book smart neither has been alot of successful people. In order to successful, you have to see yourself there. 

Shannon good luck and relieze that we can't choose our parents and I bet your dad really does love you and most likely more than you know, But some parents don't know how to show that love and support, some parents don't know how, or think it makes them weak, or for many other reasons. Make goals for yourself, dream big, set out and achieve your dreams, find someone you can confide in and when you have children raise them with the memories of the pain that the adult world can cause on a child. Be there for them in ways that yours couldn't be. I wish you all the best.

 

Just finished watching the show and felt the need to express myself.  Yes, Shannon does have a problem with controlling her anger, but how can you blame her?   Her father denies anything could be his fault, and Hillary has her husband brainwashed.   I hope to see an update on this show!  Good luck to Shannon; she's going to need it, along with some prayers!

We see it happening all the time.  Some parents strive to put a scientific name on their children's behavior issues so that they can feel less culpability.

 

But the truth is that parents have a profound impact on every single aspect of the lives of their children, including behavior.

 

Even those children who have traumatic physical or psychological struggles must have parents who are willing to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.  We all face risks when we begin the reproductive phase of life.

 

Raising children is such a tough job.  But to reap the amazing rewards, we've got to take responsibility for our failures as well as successes.  We can't just ditch our kids like garbage.

 

Men and Women who have children to validate their existence, to give them a purpose in life (as it often is said, "Having my child was the first thing I did right in my life.") are not serving their chldren's, their society's, or their own best interest.

 

Shannon's father seems to lack all inspiration to protect, discipline, and love his daughter.  Shannon's stepmother can be believed 100% when she says that she wouldn't mind if Shannon just died.  Shannon is all alone in the world.  Her family has given up on her and thrown her away.

 

They've got their diagnosis--Narcissistic Disorder--and now they're free to move on.