Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

I totally agree.  The father needs a wake-up call.  My husband had a very similar step mother.  Who tries to play the victim at family functions.   Her children (now grandchildre) always were and continue to be the number one priority.  My father in law is as much to blame because he allows it.  They  are VERY lucky my husband takes the high road and even speaks to them.  This is a huge problem is Amercian families 

Kim Bookman 

Syracuse, NY 

Shannon - I was in complete disbelief when watching your family discuss "your" issues.  I, first, want you to know that I do not think that you are anything other than a normal young lady that has had SO many difficult things to deal with, and instead of love and support from your family it seems that they have used these things against you, and it appears to hurt you.  It is obvious that your stepmother is being intentially cruel, and your father seems so manipulated that he actually believes that no one in the family has any responsibility in your frustration, and acting out.  I am impressed at the way you carried yourself, and that you owned your part - very mature - yet no one in your family was able to do the same.  I would go crazy in that environment, and am not sure that anyone would handle themselves well while hearing the absolute CRUEL things that your family says to you, about you, and the things they do, and have done.  I am sorry that this is your reality, hopefully Dr. Phil got thru to them, but your parents seemed very resistant.  No one should ever make you feel that way, especially your family, and I am truly sorry that you have been dealt such a crappy hand.  EVERY child, teenager goes thru phases where they test boundaries, act out, oppose authority, and you are no different - but instead of helping you your family has aliebated you.  When I was your age I believe that I behaved no differently at times, and I was not struggling with my mother's death, and having a new woman not only move into my life, but into my home.  The difference is my family while they did not tolerate the behaviour, they let me know that I was ALWAYS loved, and I wish your family did the same.  

I just wanted to let you know that today you definitely came out looking mature, while it also was obvious that you are hurt and frustrated, and your stepmother did really appear to be spiteful and cruel.  Hang in there, and know that not everyone thinks that you are a bad kid.  I thought you handled yourself very well, and interestingly better than your family handled themselves - and you're the one with a problem?!? What a joke!!  

Jennifer's stepmother and father need to knock the chips off their shoulders,swallow their self-rightousness, do  some honest soul searching and hard work to bring this family together. I feel sorry for Jennifer and think she has been horribly maligned.  

It seems to me that this girl has had such a traumatic past and a lot to deal with in such a short amount of time that it is no wonder she acts out. I don't condone her behaviour but sending her away and not dealing with her directly isn't going to help her. As for the step mother, she complains that the daughter always wants everything her own way and is selfish but it is very evident that the only person getting what they want and taking over a family in turmoil is the selfish one, the step mother. The father needs to step up and set the record straight - his children should come first above and beyond. It is very unfortunate that the father has been totally against his own daughter  when she obviously needs him the most. For being a parent/step parent let alone adults - maybe you should start acting like them instead of angry teenage bullies full of spite especially towards your daughter/step daughter. Life is too short to be against one another ( and the death of a loved one should prove that).  Passing judgement, trying to control one another, blaming one another and fighting is just plain ignorance and isn't going to get any of you anywhere.  

Good Luck to you all - I can only hope that you will all see beyond yourselves and look at each other.  

I just finished watching the show, and I am very concerned for Shannon.  

As the show progressed I found it wonderful that Shannon was willing to take responsibility and acknowledge how she has been acting. On the other hand the father and step-mother did not. I find this extremely disturbing, because how do they expect her to change her behavior when they don't even acknowledge their own???  

Perhaps if this did start when her sister came into the family, maybe things would be different if more attention would have been taken around the subject of Shannon's reaction to a little sister. And I heard the father saying that she started to do negative things to get attention, well, has she ever gotten any positive reactions or positive reinforcements? When Dr. Phil was trying to do this, it was shot down by the step-mother and brought back to the level of what she has done wrong.  

I really hope that the father and step-mom will open their eyes and see what is really taking place, and that the family can get the help that they need and that Shannon especially deserves.   

I am a registered Social Worker and work full-time in a Youth Shelter, so I have much passion around this area, and I constantly see youth in situations where they just want to be heard. Shannon barely spoke during this. I hope she gets a good chance to be heard.  

I joined Dr. Phil just now because I had to tell you:  Your stepmom is passive agressive, mean and bitter.  Your father is just a fool.  They have been totally unfair to you and while you may have over-reacted a time or two, I can see how it got to that.  You should be proud of all you've accomplished DESPITE them and their asburd, abusive, selfish parenting.  Soon you will have your own family and have a chance to lavish on them all the love and compasion that you were robbed of.  Keep your chin up while you are around your family and don't let them drag you down - they expect you to freak out - don't give them the satisfaction.  Take special care before you get married that he does not embody any of the shameful characteristics your parents exhibit (putting you down, using you as a scapegoat, ignoring you, being mean) since this will be so familiar to you.  Find someone who lifts you up and accepts you even if you have a tantrum or two ;)  Take care and good luck! 

Although I agree it would not have been helpful for the situation, don't you wish Dr. Phil had seriously dressed down the father and step monster?  Dr. Phil sometimes suggests that a child should be removed from the home.  I feel this kid should be removed for her own good.  This step thing has control over the father and is using it to get rid of the thorn in her side, the daughter.  The step b____ should turn her diagnostic eye inward and stop trying to ruin a young life for her own gain.