Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

Dear Dr. Phil  

My name is Kristen Upchurch; I am 16 years old and watch your show everyday after school. I have a lot of respect for you and think you have a lot of good things to say. But recently I saw the show "I love myself" and was very disappointed. I wasn't disappointed for what you said. But so much what you did not say. Hillary no doubt has some problems, that isn't rocket science. But I think her step mother and her father do also. As I watched this I pretty much wanted to punch her step mom in the face. I couldn't believe what she said about "if she died tomorrow she wouldn't care". I'm sorry but that woman is disgusting and needs someone to put her in her place. Anyone with Hillary's background would end up messed up. With her step mom coming in not even a year after her mother died, being sent to Mexico and lied to, and her step mother is taking down her mother’s pictures. Anyone would be emotionally messed up after all of that! She obviously had a dysfunction childhood. But what really gets me is that Hillary isn't violent or does drugs or anything like that. Although her actions I’m sure are bad, the problems that were started didn't seem like a terribly messed up person, just a person craving attention witch she probably doesn't get at home. I don't think they have the right to call her a bad person or evil or whatever! She needs help...and not in Mexico!!! This situation seems sketchy to me. I feel that you were not tough enough on the stepmother and the father. I was waiting for you to smack them across they’re heads and tell them that this child needs someone to love her not to call names. I honestly feel that they should remove Hillary from the home not because of her actions but because she is obviously not wanted at her own home. And she belongs somewhere where they will treat her right and respect her grieving feelings.  

Also what really bothers me is that the father had no back bone in sticking up for his daughter and compensate to his daughters needs! I guess I feel so strongly about this because I have a step mother of my own who puts me down just as her step mom did. And every time I come and see my dad we get in a fight over my step mother. This is why me and my dad don’t have a relationship because he doesn’t stick up for me when my step mom puts me down. Your children always come first no if and’s or But’s about it. I may be 16 years old but I have been in this situation before. Any step parent coming into a house is a big deal and it can really mess up a child’s relationship with their biological parent. Dr.Phil I don’t want anyone to be put in the same situation I am in. The consequences I have faced are powerful and have made a big impact on who I am and who I let into my life. And because of this impact I have grown up without a father. Dr. Phil why didn't you put her parents in there place?! I have seen you put people in their place before. Why not now?  

Respectfully  

Kristen Upchurch  

This was one of the most frustrating Dr. Phil shows I have watched. Someone please help that poor girl!! Teenagers tend to be a bit oppositional regardless of the circumstances. Factor in what that poor girl has gone through and I think anyone in her situation would lash out for attention. I hope the stepmother feels a sense of embarrassment when she views the show after it airs and see's that she lacked the foundation of establishing even the basic principles of Narcissistic personality disorder. I think she should address what appears to be a high need for control on her part. Children are a product of their environment so the father needs to step up and quit allowing himself to be hen pecked by Hilary and accept responsibility for his daughter's behavior.  

I did find satisfaction from the look on the face of Hilary when she was told that she wouldn't be involved in the initital steps of counseling.  Dr. Phil made it clear that the father and daughter would work on addressing and resolving the issues before the sister or stepmother were brought into the equation. Take that Hilary.. Maybe you could start your own counseling to see why you have a high need for control while your stepdaughter and husband work on addressing their issues!