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Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

Number of Replies: 1934
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:18:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/20/06) Do you know someone who craves attention so badly that he or she will do anything to get it? One family believes their loved one is a master manipulator and her ways are causing a major conflict in the household. Hilary claims she wouldn’t shed a tear if her stepdaughter, Shannon, died tomorrow. She calls Shannon a narcissist and says she will lie, fight and cuss just to be noticed. Shannon feels like a scapegoat, and thinks her stepmother is simply out to get her. When Shannon was younger, her biological mom died, and now she believes Hilary has turned her father and sister against her. Is Shannon’s behavior all an act, or do her father and stepmother need to change how they deal with her? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 19, 2006, 5:22 pm CDT

04/20 "I Love Myself!"

There is a lot of aggressively marketed misinformation about NPD available these days, most of it on the internet. 

  

I would hope that Dr Phil can help us to find a more valid, balanced perspective in the course of this show, assuming that NPD turns out to be relevant at all. 

  

I will watch with interest  

 
April 19, 2006, 5:47 pm CDT

NPD info...

Quote From: davewriter

Sorry, it didn't work.  Maybe they're not allowing anyone to post links anymore.  I know that when I tried to post links to websites in my author's notes on fanfiction.net, never mind the links not working, they didn't even show up on the internet page.  And THEY had no qualms about posting links either, according to the Terms of Service, they just said it wasn't their responsiblilty if the links didn't work. 

  

Maybe , but I don't know.  I think fanfiction.net was secretly cracking down on posting web links and didn't bother to tell us.  Maybe it's that way here, too. 

Anyone can serach MSN's support groups for NPD.   

There are several good boards full of info.  

One is NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER  

Another is N-Partners  

   

Sand  

 
April 19, 2006, 6:05 pm CDT

Yeah, I agree.

Quote From: jtfjmjr

Has NO ONE noticed what the step-mother has said about her stepdaughter????????????? Do you think this MIGHT have something to do with her behavior?????
I think that Hilary's the one who's being controlling. I mean, children are children, and no child, I mean no child, deserves to be treated like that.
 
April 19, 2006, 8:49 pm CDT

04/20 "I Love Myself!"

Quote From: sandahl

Anyone can serach MSN's support groups for NPD.   

There are several good boards full of info.  

One is NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER  

Another is N-Partners  

   

Sand  

Hi Sand, 

  

I wanted to add the links to the groups as well but, wasn't sure it would be allowed. Glad to see you here. You have a lot of information and experience to share with everyone here about this topic.  

  

Take care, 

Btrfly 

 
April 19, 2006, 9:14 pm CDT

Hello. Well.......

Quote From: jtfjmjr

Has NO ONE noticed what the step-mother has said about her stepdaughter????????????? Do you think this MIGHT have something to do with her behavior?????

I haven't seen the show in it's entirety as of yet. Are you talking about the statement, "If she died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear"? That does sound extremely cold, doesn't it? That said, we really have no way of knowing if those statements have something to do with the step daughter's behavior or if the step daughters behavior elicits those kinds of statements. I'm not going to judge anything at this point because I don't have all the facts. We may not have them all after the show either. Sadly, it is only a 1 hour program and that barely seems enough time for anyone to figure it all out.   

  

What I will say is this.... NPD is a serious and pervasive disorder that leaves many victims in it's wake. Narcissists come from all walks of life. All races, sexes, socio-economic backgrounds, etc... It is insidious in the fact that N's are able to fool even the best psychiatrists. Victims often times are left homeless, penniless, emotionally wrecked, and mentally fractured. Yet, the N goes about their life without a care for the damage they cause. They are incapable of empathy and are pathological liars by nature. They remain clam and collected while the victims lay crushed beneath the weight of the insanity. It's almost incomprehensible if you haven't lived it or been witness to it. I'm happy to see any show air that brings this disorder out into the open. This is my main reason for being here.   

  

Take care and God bless.  

 
April 19, 2006, 10:19 pm CDT

04/20 "I Love Myself!"

Quote From: vabtrfly

I haven't seen the show in it's entirety as of yet. Are you talking about the statement, "If she died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear"? That does sound extremely cold, doesn't it? That said, we really have no way of knowing if those statements have something to do with the step daughter's behavior or if the step daughters behavior elicits those kinds of statements. I'm not going to judge anything at this point because I don't have all the facts. We may not have them all after the show either. Sadly, it is only a 1 hour program and that barely seems enough time for anyone to figure it all out.   

  

What I will say is this.... NPD is a serious and pervasive disorder that leaves many victims in it's wake. Narcissists come from all walks of life. All races, sexes, socio-economic backgrounds, etc... It is insidious in the fact that N's are able to fool even the best psychiatrists. Victims often times are left homeless, penniless, emotionally wrecked, and mentally fractured. Yet, the N goes about their life without a care for the damage they cause. They are incapable of empathy and are pathological liars by nature. They remain clam and collected while the victims lay crushed beneath the weight of the insanity. It's almost incomprehensible if you haven't lived it or been witness to it. I'm happy to see any show air that brings this disorder out into the open. This is my main reason for being here.   

  

Take care and God bless.  

It's so obvious that that step mother is a narcisist and is passing it on to the poor daughter.
 
April 19, 2006, 10:36 pm CDT

Dr. Phil, please cover more shows about Narcisism

Dr. Phil, 

  

Please cover more shows about narcisism. Especially in love relationships. There are so many of them out there and yet so few people have any real understanding of this disorder. 

  

I'd love to see you focus on narcisism within love relationships and go over the symptoms. I can bet my last dollar you'd have a million people sitting on their couches with their jaws open saying OMG this is what his/her problem is! 

  

There are so many warning signs to this disorder, if more people were aware of them, it would save them from  investing their hearts and so much of their time into a Narcisist.   

  

There are so many people out there in love and totally confused at their loved ones behavior..they know something is "off" with them but they can't put their finger on it..it makes them doubt their own sanity. 

  

Here are a few common traits.... 

  

They are completely enamored with you at the begining, telling you everything you want to hear. 

  

Overnight, their behavior seems to change, from adoring you completely to finding tons of sudden faults. 

  

They dissapear on you for days sometimes weeks at a time, then will call or show up like nothing happened. 

  

Alot of them are sex addicts,  subscribe to tons of dating sites, sleep with prostitutes and have bi-sexual affairs. 

  

Say crazy things, things that any normal person would know not to say to a loved one, then look at you  in utter confusion when you get upset over it. 

  

Never apologize. They don't seem to even realize when they've done something wrong or hurtful. 

  

Get uncomfortable when you cry or enraged even. 

  

Most are highly ambitous and very successful, they seem to be so intelligent in one sense but when it comes to matters of the heart/relationships, they seem absolutely clueless, it's literally  like dealing with a 6 year old. (in reality they are 6 year olds in an adult body). 

  

Almost all of them carry on double, triple even more "serious" relationships at a time, promising each person the world. 

  

When you finally end it, alot of them will keep coming back around, trying to win you back, even months or years later. 

  

I can go on and on...but I'd like to end this by saying that a relationship like this is not like any other to get over.  

  

The victim of a Narcisist mourns this kind of relationship horribly. The healing process is painful and long because you're left wondering what the heck happened and what was that all about..you end up obsessing, and researching and if you're lucky you'll come accross information about Narcisim and have an AH HA moment. 

  

 You then have to mourn all over again, accepting and dealing with the fact that the person you loved so much never even loved you and took pleasure in hurting you even when you gave them nothing but love. 

 
April 19, 2006, 11:02 pm CDT

Self Centered Friend

I have a girl friend that has always needed to be the center of attention.  Within the last six months her need for attention has taken her down a path that is completely self destructive.  Signs of depression started as early as October 05 when I started dating someone and not spending as much time with her. 

She doesn't live near any family but I have spoken with both of her parents about it.   

Her father says she goes in phases.  After clarifying what he meant by phases I am pretty sure that she has some form of narcasistic disorder or the like.  

I think her mother is in a bit of denial.  Disorders of this kind run in her family ( depression, schizophrenia, etc.)  I have sat her down and tried to have a heart to heart talk with her to no avail.  She isn't listening to her parents either. 

Now she is pregnant.  Her stories to her mother, father, and me do not add up in regards to the pregnancy and the father.  She has refinanced her home to pay for (what she claims to be) the father's legal fines.  Most recently she added him to her credit cards that are now maxed out.  She has a BS in accounting and is normaly fiscally sound.  I am afraid her mental and physical well being is at steak.   

She has been seeing a doctor at the VA hospital for the pregnancy so I called there and asked if they could inquire with her further about her mental state the next time she comes in.  I know this may end our friendship but I care.  The VA has been no help so far.  I feel I have exhausted all means of trying to get her help.  I am now faced with ending a four year friendship.  I have had enough of the double talk and lies but have I done all I can to help her?  

 
April 20, 2006, 2:29 am CDT

04/20 "I Love Myself!"

Quote From: vabtrfly

I haven't seen the show in it's entirety as of yet. Are you talking about the statement, "If she died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear"? That does sound extremely cold, doesn't it? That said, we really have no way of knowing if those statements have something to do with the step daughter's behavior or if the step daughters behavior elicits those kinds of statements. I'm not going to judge anything at this point because I don't have all the facts. We may not have them all after the show either. Sadly, it is only a 1 hour program and that barely seems enough time for anyone to figure it all out.   

  

What I will say is this.... NPD is a serious and pervasive disorder that leaves many victims in it's wake. Narcissists come from all walks of life. All races, sexes, socio-economic backgrounds, etc... It is insidious in the fact that N's are able to fool even the best psychiatrists. Victims often times are left homeless, penniless, emotionally wrecked, and mentally fractured. Yet, the N goes about their life without a care for the damage they cause. They are incapable of empathy and are pathological liars by nature. They remain clam and collected while the victims lay crushed beneath the weight of the insanity. It's almost incomprehensible if you haven't lived it or been witness to it. I'm happy to see any show air that brings this disorder out into the open. This is my main reason for being here.   

  

Take care and God bless.  

 I'm sorry but after watching the show today, i'm not so sure that it isn't the step mother who is the manipulative one. I used to be just like the girl when I was a teen, I always yelled at everyone and as I got older I figured out why I was constantly yelling and raising my voice. When I would talk, it seemed like nobody was listening, but if I yelled people heard what I had to say. I didn't do this to get attention for no reason, but because everyone disregaurded me and my opinion as if it were a joke. Nobody in my family respected me, I was exactly like the young woman on the show. I would do and say things to people and mean it in a nice way and somebody would always spin it to be negative. I am not narcissistic in the least. I onced told one of my older sisters quietly that I think she should change her shirt because it had blood stains on it(i was young and I didn't know about getting your period) and my oldest sister asked me what I had said to my other sister to make her go change and I told her. My oldest sister then proceeded to slap me in my face and yell at me for "embarassing" my other sister and uninvited me to the family outing. I am not trying to get any type of sympathy because I have gotten over my family and their constant teasing and abuse, but I just wanted to let people know that I don't think it is completely the girls fault. She should learn to control her anger albeit, but the blame should not rest solely on her. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean that you can demand respect of children especially if you're a step parent. You must earn respect of people not immediately expect it, people are people no matter what age. Doesn't everyone deserve respect? The step mother came in and changed this young womans life and nobody even asked her for her opinion, she wasn't even in the wedding party. I would say that after hearing that, I wouldn't have expected any different from this family.
 
April 20, 2006, 2:51 am CDT

Another disorder how funny

narcisstic behavior is now a disorder.  It must be the new disorder of the month instead of people taking responsibility for their behavior - make it a disorder and it isn't their fault.   

 
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