Quote From: artfuldivaI am literally shaking from my desk at work. I stayed home today to watch as did other family members in anticipation of this show.This topic is more near and dear to my heart. For all of you out there with perfect kids and even the ones that have realized resolution from and out of control child, I am happy for you.
For those of you who find no rest or respite from the life of raising a "Shannon".. my heart bleeds for you, at lease what is left of the blood that hasn't already been drained from my body!
HOW DARE any of you not see the vial and demonic nature these children can possess. Weather it is biological, neurological, environmental or just plain oppositional conduct, FIND PITY for these parents.
AGREE.. the step mom needs a heart transplant. But Dad, If only I could have reached through my TV screen and hugged him as well as the sibling I would have confirmed their fears, nightmares, and the realities that were blatantly denied them on National Television.
Did I have wax in my ears when the quite humble statements were made that this child exhibited uncontrollable behavior since she was four? Did I hear the countless attempts to reach mental health providers as well as consult with the child of the limited options she is faced with in trying to survive in this chaotic world? I almost felt had the deceased Mother been present she too would have been the culprit of blame for the maladjustment and insensitivity towards this "child" who may I remind you is a young adult capable of emancipating herself from these accused thoughtless, selfish family if she can find a kinder more gentler world for which she can manipulate and destroy?
Forgive me for not accrediting myself with a resume of a mother of an out of control child. I have denied myself of any happiness, watched the demise of my 20 year marriage, rescue my younger sons daily if not hourly from the torment and abuse of my 15 year old daughter, who bu the way, I love with every inch of what is left of my well educated and now diminishing wellbeing.
We too sent our daughter on the threatening request of local, county ans state therapeutic practitioners to a level 3 boarding facility, ironically the same program as Shannon only a different campus. We too were instructed to basically kidnap her with the intent of taking her on a vacation as well as having her physician medicate her prior to the road trip. We too had to leave our troubled child in the hands of so- called professionals and then asked to leave to await her return upon completing the "program". Wee too went a year without seeing or talking to our child because she failed to earn credential levels to warrant phone privileges as well as campus visitations. We too called the campus daily to keep a continuing pulse on the child we so desperately want to receive help...And then, we too had to pull our daughter from the program after 11 months of silence and her obvious ability to manipulate and and all participation in the program in order to receive privileges or be reunited with her family who were suffering hour by hour at the thought of her absence from the family home as well as the guilt we harbored at our perhaps complacent actions advised by professionals not to mention the $50,000 commitment to the program that ultimately led to the foreclosure of our home. Since it has come to the attention of the press that these"campuses" are no more than holding tanks for unruly youth. I can assure you from speaking with their "programmed" parents, Well marketed brochures, and a manipulative sensitive Web site aimed at parents in crisis.
Were we right? Wrong question! Were we acting responsibly? Absolutely!
I am no stranger to the corrupt and delinquent mental health system in our country. The disaster is greatly magnified when it comes to our children. The venue still remains in most of our municipalities.. the child either changes and adapts or the child is removed. Black and White. No Process, no true intervention. Shear destruction of the struggling households and families just reaching out for the American Dream for their families only to be beaten alive by the system as well as your own child. Having children is a blessing, a privilege as well as the single largest sacrifice a woman can make. Finding joy only in the faces of once close friends who now stand in judgment of our parenting skills as they whisk off in their well vacuumed min-vans to soccer practice and Ballet recitals. I am at home behind locked doors checking caller IDs for bill collectors,mentoring what is left of my other two children and trying to keep my beautiful talented daughter from bludgeoning herself and others in order to deal with the demons that quite honestly remain a mystery to her as well as her practicing therapists.
If there are any other parents out here with similar experiences and would like to be heard, consoled or just affirmed that sanity must lay with moral and emotional support, not guilt ridden introspection of our perceived failures.
Please feel free to e-mail me at artfuldiva@nc.rr.com . Please subject your mail as MOM to MOM. And if you can find the courage, I am willing to do what it takes to find a way to get the attention of Dr. Phil and his staff to hear from the damaged souls who are only trying to cope with the challenges of raising our children with conflicting manuals of instruction and fear of loosing them to "Columbine", suicide,and the inept judicial system they will most Likley head towards once they completely reject our efforts as parents.
My heart , my soul appreciate the time you took to read this post.
Samsmom.
Sounds Like you are also in need of some therapeutic help of your own....I Pray DR.Phil reads this and Helps you too.....
(Original Air Date: 04/20/06) Do you know someone who craves attention so badly that he or she will do anything to get it? One family believes their loved one is a master manipulator and her ways are causing a major conflict in the household. Hilary claims she wouldn’t shed a tear if her stepdaughter, Shannon, died tomorrow. She calls Shannon a narcissist and says she will lie, fight and cuss just to be noticed. Shannon feels like a scapegoat, and thinks her stepmother is simply out to get her. When Shannon was younger, her biological mom died, and now she believes Hilary has turned her father and sister against her. Is Shannon’s behavior all an act, or do her father and stepmother need to change how they deal with her? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
