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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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marsha2000

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April 21, 2006, 6:34 am PDT

don't wanna be dad

didn't anyone tell him about the birds & bees??? i'm sure he didn't mind the pleasure of sex. kinda reminds me of a kid getting caught in the cookie jar. personally, i hope he has to pay pay pay!! as far as the beautiful little girl, she's probably better off without that deadbeat. maybe next time he'll know what the word abstinance means. boy, what a loser! i'll bet he'll have a hard time getting someone to sleep with him now. he was just on the dr phil show and EVERY woman in america watches dr. phil. i kinda wish the camera had scanned the audience to see Robin's face!! I can only imagine the look he got! thanks for letting me vent. marsha smith darlington, sc

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ncregency

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April 21, 2006, 6:35 am PDT

Elizabeth

Thank heavens Elizabeth's mom is responsible. Her father is a spoiled whiner. He made his decision when he didn't wear a condom. $500 a month is not raising a child. The mother is

in a position for giving of herself. I don't picture this man ever being a father if he can walk away from a child that looks so much like him. The lawsuit is a joke and a pathetic diversion from the

issue at hand.

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threebears

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April 21, 2006, 6:37 am PDT

deadbeat dads of the world unite

Quote From: chikara1

Wow, Jayriddle, you sure did open up a can of worms when you said that women are done with their physical burden after nine months. You really have no idea. Just for starters, there's all the post-partum recovery. That includes healing of the uterus, any tears or incisions, hemorrhoids, wearing sanitary pads for as much as six weeks and in some cases longer. There's breastfeeding and if there's anything that can make even the most loving earth-mother feel functional, breastfeeding will do it. Big old wet splotches developing on the front of your shirt/dress just because you hear a baby cry in the next aisle of the grocery store or even on a radio or television. Changes to hair and skin that take years to go away, if ever. Then there's that sleep deprivation thing. Now that's a surefire way to put your body on the line. There's all those nightly feedings, staying up late to get laundry done at night, getting back to work even though you're tired and/or conflicted. There's carrying around the baby, there's post-partum development of tenosynovitis, and then there's the half-size changes in shoe size. Physically, it is a whole other experience to go from a 25 inch waistline to 62 and then work to get back down. Baking cookies late at night because "I promised that you would, Mom" or cooking some ethnic meal because "we're studying Spain and I forget to tell you that I signed up to bring paella."

OMG, I could go on and on forever but I have to stop because I am already smiling with nostalgia. Jewish men thank God everyday for not making them women. Why? Because it is just so much to handle. And why I am I smiling? Because the great magic for so many women is that there is such an abundance of love and joy throughout all these physical burdens. The emotions and attachments to one's child are incomparable. That is true for many women and men. It may be different in form and manifestation but the emotions run just as deep and just as strong for most moms and dads.

But please, don't lecture to women about the physical burdens of having children.

jayriddle, you sound like a moron!!! When a father choses not to be in a childs life that leaves all the responsibilities on the mother. Like taking that child to the doctor, staying up all hours of the night with a sick baby, cooking, cleaning, bathing, dress, the list is really endless. men will never understand the love of a mother. we feel our babies growing inside of us, kicking and moving, and then we go through extreme pain to bring them into this world. that is why we love them so much and to most of us, giving them away or having an abortion would be killing a part of ourselves.

I have a question for you..... how much back child support do you owe, because only a deadbeat dad would ever think that men are the only ones with a life sentence.

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momnc3

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April 21, 2006, 6:37 am PDT

Is this guy human?

I just don't understand this guy?? I think any human with a heart should want what is best for their child and I don't think that should be death. Adoption would of been an option if the mother had wanted it...I support adoption...but if the mom wants the baby, she should be able to keep it. But the fact that he basically doesn't claim that kid as his at all is pathetic. That poor child is may hear one day that his dad could care less about him. That child deserves better. He should of never had sex! It isn't just about making babies...the fool could of got an STD including AIDS...would he be blamming her then? HE chose to have sex with her! He made the choice, he should have to pay his child support!! I cannot believe he and his lawyer think that this is ok to take this to trial. I wonder what his parents think about this...and seeing their beautiful grandson! I don't have boys, but I would like to think if I did and this happened that I would be there to support and love that child as my own blood. I hope it doesn't go well in court and that this publicity is used for the good to teach girls and boys who don't want to be a parent to NOT have sex! One more reason to wait to have sex when you are MARRIED!

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zinkster

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frustrated

April 21, 2006, 6:38 am PDT

Legalized "Deadbeat Daddys"?!

If a man wants to have and enjoy sex, especially with multiple partners, then be responsible enough to use protection or get an operation!!! This is opening a whole different area. There are already too many fatherless children (my husband deals with them every day in elementary school). Don't make it legal to become a deadbeat daddy!!! If you want to play the game, be responsible for your actions!!! When will these "fathers" step up to the plate and choose to be a part of the child's life and realize the child is partly their flesh and blood and help to raise a child who contributes to society instead of allowing their child (or children) to flounder around with no direction in life. It takes two to make a baby!! Be responsible instead of trying to be the victim!!! The only victim here is the child!!! GROW UP!!!

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beachlvr53

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April 21, 2006, 6:38 am PDT

Men get Screwed

Come on Dr. Phil. Give the man a break. If she decided to have an abortion or put the child up for adoption would he be involved in that decision? NO!!!!!!! He made it very clear to her that he did not want children and she told him she could not have children and that she was on the pill. Why suddenly is he the one that should take all the responsibility for this? She sits there all angelic like and expects him to pay child support and be the good FATHER. Oh please. She knew how he felt and she should shut her trap and take care of her baby. As my mom always told me, "you made your bed now lie in it". Men do not have equal rights when it comes to pregnancy and you know it. I am a woman and I cannot imagine wanting a man in my life or my child's life that did not want to be in it to begin with anyway. And the child support issue is just a means of her just getting attention.

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yougogirl

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April 21, 2006, 6:38 am PDT

what a jackass

Like it or not he took part in the creation of this baby, ready or not, and should step up to the plate. If he didn't want to be a dad he had the right to wear a condom, regardless of what his partner said. He just doesn't want to pay child support and is looking for a way out. What a lame excuse for a law. Men don't have rights? Bullshit. Pay up dude.

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heather_t

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April 21, 2006, 6:39 am PDT

arg....

Quote From: debmite

I feel sorry for guys in this day and age, you can get some really terrible women who decide to get a divorce, take the children away, the fathers never see them, she also takes his money, then complains about being a single mother, ouch, poor guys.Then there's some dead beat guys too, but some good guys get screwed also.

I'm sorry but I to have been a victim of the "I CAN"T HAVE CHILDREN". I was 19 years old when i got pregnant with my first child. His father took off with a girl who i thought was a fried. they had 2 kids. my son's father rarely has had a part in his like. hje has mad my child promises and not fufilled them. He does NOT pay child support and by law in the state of Maine is not obligated to due to his lies and decievment of the system. He has plenty of money to pay but i recieve nothing. in 13 ears i may have recieved $500 total! and nothing in the past 6 years! I have had to work 60 hours a week to support my family!! Its not easy being on this end either!

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lvng4him

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April 21, 2006, 6:40 am PDT

Furious

How about this...If you don't want to be a Daddy (or Mommie) DON"T HAVE SEX! You will not die from it -but you might if you keep having unprotected sex. And as for relying on the woman to be on birth control, that still does not protect you from STD's. This guy -and his lawyers- is a prime example of what is wrong with society today. No one ever takes responsibility for their own actions!

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pecancourt

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April 21, 2006, 6:40 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I don't think that women should be able to have choices that men don't. i don't think anyone should have a right to abortion. Everyone knows what causes babies so if it happens and you don't want it give it to someone who does. If the father does not want to be involved they should be able to sign over rights and not owe anything. If the mother can't do it by her self then she can give it up for adoption. she should have been a little more selective or carefull. But if the children are over 6- monthe old i do think the father should have to pay child support unless the mother agrees that he can sign over rights. because men that just get tired of being a father should not be let off the hook. But the ones that know that don't want kids but the women disagree after or before the get prgnant should have similar options.

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