Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Again... a man is showing why we, as women, need Rowe vs Wade in the first place.  Men can be very controlling, manipulative, and even violent about sex.... and sometimes resulting in babies.  And women pay the price in every aspect of their life, for the rest of their life.  If she chooses to abort, she lives with that sickening feeling that she killed her baby... no matter how many times she tries to forgive herself.  If she puts the baby up for adoption... she lives with the fact that she has a child somewhere that she abandoned... albeit usually for very good reasons.  Or keep the baby... childbirth is very painful, pregnancy is not a vacation, a lot of businesses look down on responsible single mom's and aren't their first choice on a job.  And most mom's continue to be a mom (financially and emotionally) forever.  No matter what, all decisions affect your life .... THESE ARE NOT EASY DECISIONS FOR US TO MAKE!!! 

BUT.... men can walk away when tired of it. 

Look around you.  Most women are raising their children alone.  A few men (thank you to all of you) are responsible even after a divorce or separation, even to the point of fighting for custody.  I applaude these men.   There are more deadbeat dad's than ever.  More rape's than ever.  More drugging young women for sex than ever. 

NOW YOU WANT TO OPEN A DOOR TO TAKE AWAY OUR RIGHTS TO CHOOSE TO KEEP OUR CHILD???  This makes it too easy for any man to walk away and leave ALL responsibility on the woman.  Isn't there already enough of that going

Get real! That woman that is not getting child support and claiming to be an honest person is lying to herself. The young that is the father of her child is totally right in his actions. Whether she admits it or not, she knew what she wanted right from the start. And that was to force Matt into a binding permanent relationship with her by using that child as a weapon. Too often young women and girls use that ruse to entrap the object of their affections, which, co-incidentally, always end in disaster. As for Matt being cheap, I don't think so. He clearly stated to the woman he did not want a child at this point and time in his life. And that is his right no matter what. The courts are wrong in supporting the conniving and manipulating women that use the system to get what they want. No matter what you think, that woman knew exactly what she was doing and she also knew the law was on her side. I bet she also supports the equal rights for women law too. Matt has rights also. And one of them is he should not be made to assume a responsibility that he did not want and made it known he did not want before hand. And you, my dear, need to back up and take another look at real life. Maybe you are one of those women that will try to trick a man into fatherhood before he's ready and bring a child into this world without regard to its future just for your own selfishness perhaps? 

I'm not religious.  I believe a woman should have an abortion under certain circumstances, but none of those circumstances include convenience.  I have a degree in Molecular Biology, so that helps me to understand life in a more scientific way than your average American.  The heartbeat of a baby can be detected by ultrasound at 5 or 6 weeks.  That's only a week or two after you miss you period.  Anyone who has experienced an ultrasound at 10 weeks of pregnancy or further knows that the baby already has a personality (i.e., sucking thumb).  Because of these things, many women opt not to get abortions.  Convenience takes a back seat to new life. 

Adoption is a good choice; however, if you're not sure of your choice when it's made (and many women/girls are not sure of their choice, especially when made in a pressured situation) it can cause lifelong regret and struggle. 

It disturbs me quite a bit that many people on this message board equate responsibility to money.  To most single moms, child support helps to pay for child care.  $500 in my city would pay for less than 1/2 a month of newborn child care.  The kid that was on the show that doesn't want to pay child support has written off his child and all the true responsibilities that go with raising a child.  It saddens me that a lot of men can't see that quality time is what makes a real difference.  $6000 a year is nothing compared to time. 

I understand the emotions involved in the case of baby Elizabeth because she deserves the best of everything. Every child does. However, men do not have a choice whether or not to support children they didn't consent to having. What if the situation were reversed? What if a woman became pregnant and decided to have an abortion and the baby's father wanted to keep that baby and raise it? Shouldn't that woman have to capitulate as well? Men are not equally protected. That isn't fair.   

The case that appeared on the show was especially unfair because the man believed no pregnancy would occur. Now he is being forced to support a child he didn't intend to have and thought he had done his part to prevent. (Making sure pregnancy wasn't possible...believing the woman).  The emotions involved in seeing a beautiful baby cloud this case, but the fact remains that this man was forced into something he clearly didn't want and didn't have any reason to expect.  

(By the way, I am a woman)