Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Of course that is the answer for both men and women...if you are not ready for the big responsibilty (because accidents do happen and it is noone's fault) then don't have sex.  Of course the rights of both the mom and dad ended when they got pregnant with  the child.  Now the rights of that baby is more important then either the mom or the dad.  Can't be selfish if you have a baby and can't whine later if you do the deed and an accident occurs.  

By the way that child is a gift from God to be cherished.  In the end there are no such things as accidents. 

Unfortunately, most men in this world do not want to take the responsibility of preventing pregnancies.  I have three daughters, and I have preached to them that they have to be the one that is prepared when they have sex to prevent a pregnancy.  They need to make sure they have condoms and are on birth control because most of the time, the men are not prepared.  It is not right but that is the way it is.   

The men want to have the fun but then they don't want to step up if a pregnancy comes about.  I am hard on my daughters with this issue, and maybe I should not be because it does take two to make a baby, but when the pregnancy happens (and hopefully that's the worst thing that happens with unprotected sex), the girl is the one who has to make all the decisions and possibly raise a child on her own. 

Men need to step up and realize that they are just as much a part of the prevention of a pregnancy as the woman is, but when that baby is conceived and is in the woman's body, they should not really have the right to say that they want to give the baby up for adoption or whatever other choices there might be. 

Heres some advice, if you do not want a child do not have sex at all. Unless you are ready to except the consiquenses of your actions do not perform the actions. It was not right for the women to lie to the man about her inability to have children, I agree with that. But, there is always a chance of something happening. It was their chioce not to use the condom and that was the choice he made. That was him having a chice about the baby. Everything else is up to the women. She has to carry and delivery the baby.  

Matt chose to have unprotected sex and knew or should have known that was the chance he was taking.  Matt you need to take responsibility for the life you created and be a father to your daughter.  It will be the best thing you ever did.  If you don't then years down the road you will regret that your child doesn't know you.  If her mother chooses to tell her about you and what you have done then at the very least she will resent you in the end.  And who knows, this could be the only child you ever father.   

I myself was surprised by a pregnancy that I wasn't sure I was ready for.  I was married for a very short time before I found out and my husband knew that he wasn't ready to be a father.  We had unprotected sex and knew the risks we were taking.  That surprise that came into our lives is now 10 years old and the best thing that ever happened to us.  He is a joy to have around.   

Matt don't lose out on what could be the best thing to ever happen to you. 

To answer this affirmation, which is stupid when used as an accusation of women against men, let me quote Ken Wilber in "A brief history of everything," page 4: 

Regarding the strength of Testosterone, which makes it much more difficult (but not impossible) for men to abstain from sex: 

"And males are saddled with this biological nightmare almost from day one, a nightmare women can barely imagine (except when they are given testosterone injections for medical purposes, which drives them nuts. As one woman put it, "I can't stop thinking about sex. Please, can't you make this stop?") 

Men:  I've tried continence (no ejaculation) for six months. It can be done. One actually feels great emotionally when doing this. But my ultimate wish is Marriage with the right woman, and a family. 

  Having sex is not only for pleasure, it is for creation. You should never trust anyones word becausethey could be mistaken, and the impossible can happen!!! You should always protect yourself from the impossible!!! It is not that hard!! I have a baby girl as old as Matts'. My whole world revolves around her! My boyfriend didn't want her and pushed till I went to the abortion clinic, fortuantly i was too far along! She has changes both of our lives for the better, cause now we are both supporting her and trying to make a difference for her future! And I think Matt should do the same! You may not love the mother of your baby, but be there to support her, even though she was unwanted!! She is your responsibility!! Do not leave another child unwanted by their father!!! Mine did to me, and I lost out on a lot, and so will she! She needs your support and love!!!