Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

  First of all let me say I am a 52 year old woman who has never been able to have children, but I Have been through what this man is going to put his child through.  He is going to scar this child for life.  I grew up with VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM and have never gotten over it.  It has affected every aspect of my life past and present.    I have heard of "egotistical" before but He takes the cake!  If he isn't ready to be a father, then he shouldn't have "played  the game".  The ONLY Certain thing when 2 people are having sex is that God is in control. Everything happens for a reason.   I have seen where a man wears a condom, the woman is on birth control pills and she still gets pregnant.  As we tell "KIDS" all of the time, abstinance is the only sure way of not getting pregnant.  Doctors don't know everything.  If God wants you to get pregnant, then you will get pregnant.  Mister, grow up and realize  if you're gonna play, you're gonna pay.  I also think that the reason You didn't want to hold the baby or see it is because you know you would not be able to hold to your convictions about not wanting to be a father.  There is just something about looking into a baby's eyes and holding it that can melt any NEGATIVE feelings ( and that is what you're having).  You are going to regret these actions you're taking and feelings you're forcing on yourself in the future, I guarantee it.  I hope when that child grows up and finds you,  that you will be more of a man than you are being right now.  I also hope that the mother is completely honest with the child about you at some point.  The position which you are putting her in is really sad and doesn't say much for your character.  In the next few years, this child will start asking her questions about it's daddy and to keep this child from having a load of emotional problems, she will probably have to lie to it until it gets old enough to understand what a "Jerk" you are and be able to shake the negative feelings off.   

Message from experience 

I am a happily married mother of two and it sounds like you are a bit upset.  Of course you would be because you are not male who up front told your girlfriend that you do not want any children and in turns your girlfriend decides to stay with you and tell you that she can not have any children and also is taking birth control pills.  Men should have rights too. 

How can you be called a dead beat when you put the cakel out on the table, she had the choice not to eat that cake knowing that he would not take part in this childs life. 

What if the women told the man up front, "Hey I don't want any children and he inturns tell her well I am fixed and she gets pregnant.  He wants the baby and she doesn't, she now makes the decision to have an abortion.  Does he have the right to stop the abortion? 

Would Matt believe some one at their word when they tell him they don't have AIDS???   It really worries me that someone would be so naive when it comes to something so serious.  Whether his ex believed or didn't believe she could have kids, it was still Matt's responsibility to prevent a pregnancy if he didn't want to be a father.   You hear over and over about couples that were told they could never have kids, but by some miracle they conceived a child.  In this day and age, anything can happen, and everyone should take responsibility for their actions, whether they are "ready" to or not.  If he wasn't ready, he should have done everything to prevent it even if that means not beleiving everything he hears.  

He has to pay the price?  

She had sex too. What price should she pay? Perhaps raise the child on her on would be a fair price. 

Unfortunately, the child is the one paying the price. 

Let’s loo        

Let’s look at the reality of the situation; the douche bag does not want to pay $$$$$$$child support$$$$$$$. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!!!!!   

In middle school and High school we learned that the only way to be child proof is not to have sex at all, abstinence. Whether or not she was able to bare a child he still chose to not wear a condom, and chose to have sex with her. YOU CHOOSE THE BEHAVIOR YOU CHOOSE THE CONSEQUENCE.   

Yeah, he didn’t want a child but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t prepared to have a child either. It’s not easy thinking that your body can’t bare kids and then a miracle happens and all of a sudden you have a child growing inside of you, HOW CAN YOU DENY THAT CHILD A LIFE? OR HOW CAN YOU DENY MOTHERHOOD??   

In my opinion, even with forced CHILD SUPPORT Money I would not accept it. I would not want to give my child something out of compromise or unwillingly from another human. I would bust my ass at work, apply for welfare, food stamps then receive a penny from a man who does not want to be part of my child’s life, FINANCIALLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY MORALLY.    

PLAIN AND SIMPLE mom will have be mom and dad a common thing in the world where DAD’s  don’t want to be involved. YAY!!! FOR SINGLE MOTHERS.   

I don't think that men deserve the right to not be a father!!! You think that women have all the rights utill you are one...  When i was 17 i got pregnant, i was still in high school and living with my parents i was so excited to be pregnant and so was my boyfriend at the time his parents were all for it.  When my parents found out they made me get an abortion.  In my state you have to be either amansipated or 18 to make decisions on your own so i had to do it and my parents were financially responsible for it as well because of my age.  Also try to get your tubes tied while you are married you have to have you husband signature to do it even if has committed adultery or left the state. My mother was 34 years old with a severe ovarian disease and my dad had left her for another woman in a state 2500 miles away, they were separated and filing the divorse papers she had to have him sign a piece of paper saying it was ok for her to have her tubes tied.  So men really do have choices they just don't know it.  And with matt's deal you men are so gulable to sex you just don't care as long as your getting it, did you see a doctors note or any legal medical paperwork saying she could not get pregnant???? That's the only way that it is 100% and even after the surgery it isn't 100% unless you have a historectamey!!