Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

   Look weather he wanted to be a dad and weather he wants to support a child or be in that child's life is up to him and the mom if he was there to help make it he should support it weather he wants to or not. you know not all women want to be mom's but they sure try a lot harder to be good mom's than men do. Men should be fixed at 12 and unfixed at 30

I don't usually post messages, this just really hit home for me. Beyond the fact that men should have a choice, that should be up for discussion. How can he look at the child knowing that it is his and completely deny it, because didn't choose to be a father. That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I just have to say that I have two beautiful boys, the first wasn't planned and I couldn't never deny my children. They are my life. This story just absolutely breaks my heart. It is so sad.

Shouldn't men make a choice BEFORE conception?  When men can be the one pregnant for 40 weeks then they can make the choice after conception.  What if men could make the choice for the women after conception.  We would have an epidemic of children homeless.  A hateful society.  Men don't usually think with there brain in these deep situations.  Thats why women are pregnant for 40 weeks.

I am so frustrated at the fact he is not taking responsibility for his actions.  He wore condoms in the beginning, but then he stopped.  What would have happened if he had gotten an STD?  Would he still blame it on her?

I am a woman and mother and I completely agree with this guest's case.  He sounds very callous and rude at times but I really think that he is okay to feel the way he does.  

  

I was a single mother and I was absolutely happy and satisfied not to have my child's father in the picture.  He did not contribute financially either.  She is now 14 and has had every need attended to in her life.  She is a happy person and not having a father in her life has not scarred or made her any less of  a wonderful person.  She is a great student and a terrific athlete.   

  

It's a lame argument by Dr. Phil that this person should have worn a condom.  If you are in a trusting relationship and one partner says she cannot get pregnant and that she is on the pill, it's not unreasonable to choose not to use a condom.  He made it clear that he was not ready to be a father.  It's her responsibility to raise the child if she has made the choice to do so.  I am against abortion but there are thousands of couples out there who would welcome a new baby with an open heart.   While I don't agree that men should shirk their responsibilities, the choice to keep a baby should be made by both partners at the onset of pregnancy and if one does not want to be one, the other should face the fact that they either need to give the child up for adoption or go it alone.  Also father's should have a say in whether or not a mother should be able to have an abortion.  It's his child too.   

  

Just because there is now a baby here, doesn't necessarily mean he will all of a sudden be ready to raise a child.  I know that my child's father was not and he would have been a terrible contributor to her life.  That alone made foregoing the money a very easy decision.    

Well at least the woman is taking care of her responsibilities even if he is too much of a coward to do so!!

I disagree with that - My daughter's father continues to take me to court for custody issues (even though he constantly changes it to suit his schedule)  And believe me they are very fair to him!!

I dont thing that  guys understand how emotionally difficult it is for women to have to go through an abortion. Guys act like it isnt a big deal at all. They will never be able to understand what it feels like for women to have to experience something like that. On the part about "she told me that it was 100% effective" Any person should know that birth control pills are not 100% effective even if they have been taken correctly. The minute that he decided it would be ok not to use a condom was the minute he agreed to the consequences of not wearing a condom. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his actions, it is just as much his fault as it is hers. However, she is stepping up to the plate and he needs to.

 Me, Me, ME
That's all I hear these days, I WANT,  I don't want, This is my CHOICE.
I think its time people in general step up and start to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
It always your CHOICE until its time to deal with the consequences.
Maybe the girl who got pregnant should sue the doctor who said she couldn't!  How about the birth control company, maybe we should sue the media for "making" us want to have sex!  Maybe next the rapist will sue the women he raped because she "just looled so good". 
This is all going too far. 
I believe that if you choose to have sex, you have to deal with the possibility of having a child.  Yes women are now allowed to legally abort, I have mixed feelings about this, you are killing the child (no matter how much we split hairs about when its a person) just because its legal doesn't mean it right.  I also think that forcing a person to bear a child doesn't benefit the child or the mother.  But the root of the problem is this, that people feel justified in saying, yes I had sex and got pregnant, it was a faulty condom, I just started a fabulous and demanding job so I really can't deal with a child right now.  Just like the problem with this guy is, yes, I had sex and fathered a child, but I told her I didn't want to and she said okay, so really it no MY fault or MY problem.
Well yes, I know that CO2 is causing global warming, and yes I know my gas guzzling SUV contributes much more than a cheap economy car, and yes I know there's REALLY NO REASON I need such a big car, but dammit, I work hard to earn my money and I'll spend it how I like, afterall I'm just one person and everybody else is doing it.
Yup, we're doomed and we deserve it.

By the way, as to that husband who wants a fifth, maybe he should spend a year at home taking care of four kids, cleaning, cooking and keeping the house from falling into disarray and let his wife go to work, come home to dinner and spend the evening playng with the kids, maybe when SHE gets the chance to PLAY with the kids instead of taking care of them she might reconsider...or he might.

-Heaven help us all.

What about the men who say they want to be a family and then leave when the choice of terminating the pregnancy is past and then claim they were trapped into the role of fatherhood!!  There will be alot more of that is this guy wins his case and gets freed from the role of "father" of any kind at all!!  I think that guy needs to get his priorities straight and realize that no matter what his child should not have to go through life hearing how he never wanted anything to do with her and even went to court to be free of parenthood!!