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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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molly02

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April 21, 2006, 7:36 am PDT

Don't Do It.....

I think that being a father and mother is a gift from God. I am a mother of 2 beautiful little girls 9 and 5. Tha fact that this man does not want to be a father is his right and choice. But why take the chance of something happening that you don't want. COVER IT UP, OR BETTER YET KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.............

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bblee20

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

The guy is right

I'm a women and usually these kinds of topics tend to make me support the women, however this guy is totally right. He had an ongoing relationship with this women. They were a couple. He made it perfectly clear that he wanted no children at this time. She told him she could not get pregnant. Not only did she say she could not get pregnant but she was on the Pill (for another medical condition) on top of that. She tried to fool him, trick him because she wanted a baby. Well, she's got it. She needs to pull up her big girl panties and deal with it. It's unfortunate for the child but what's probably even worse is the manipulative women the child will be exposed to for the rest of her life.

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ritarudisi

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

Baby War

It's quite amazing to me how men can sleep around unprocted and when a woman get pragnet he's ready to bail. If any person male or female does not want to have children there are sure fired was to prevent this from happening. It's as simple a a visit to the Operating Room and when you awake you are free and clear to have all the sex you want without bring a poor helpless child into this world, that hard enought to live in anyway, on this earth to struggle and have mental issues knowing that it was never wanted or loved. People get responsiable. This is not 1922. There is NO excuse for an unwanted pragency. If you make a concise decision to have unprotected sex you should not have the right to say I'm not ready to be a parent. If your not ready to be a parent KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON AND GROW UP!

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miranda_f

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

How incredibly selfish!!

Matt doesn't wanna be a father...then Matt should've kept it in his pants until he was ready to have a committed relationship with a women who was on the same page!!! This outrages me!!! This is what is wrong with young men and women. They are so quick to decide to have sex because their hormones get the best of them and don't think about the consequences. I realize Matt told the young woman that, "...there is no way I want to be a father," so he obviously thought about the possibilities of getting pregnant, but that is where it should have ended. If he wasn't 110% sure that this woman wasn't thinking alike, he should've got up, no pun intended, and LEFT!!! Then he took the condom off mid way through!!!! That is where I think his rights ended!! He made the conscience decision to take it off, then he can pay the support for this child! Sure, condoms maybe aren't 100% sure proof, however, we'll never know NOW!

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dannay

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: jimkohl

I am a father of 4 and grandfather of 11... My four childred are from two different mothers, two each... In both divorces I was granted custody of the kids... The first time because my first wife and I lost our first daughter to Crib Death in 1969, and then she had two back to back tubal pregnancies and got extremely depressed and wanted out of the marriage and asked me to take the boys... I was glad to do so even though at the time I was in the Military and it almost cost me my carrier, but it all worked out...

My second wife and I had two children, son and daughter... When we divorced we agreed to share custody, with my son staying with me and the other boys, and the daughter living with her... She ended up in an abusive relationship, and six months later she asked me to take the daughter which I was glad to do...

My problem is that in both cases I was never asked about, or was offered any child support from either exwife... Yet when its the woman is left with the responsibility of raising the child or children its the first thing that comes up...

This is why this story about the young man who feels his rights were violated hits close to home with me... I hope that he wins his case, and that people wake up... Women have fought hard for equal rights under the law, and although we are not totally there yet, fair is fair...

Jim

I agree with you Jim to some extent. if the woman doesnt have custody than she should also have to pay childsupport!!!!!!!!1 But all the rest is bull! good job by the way in being a good father... maybe this loser should follow your footsteps...

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jah1234

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

that smug young man made me sick..

he and the other 2 men couldnt make 1 GOOD man..it took women years to be allowed to do what they wanted to do with their own body after a no good punk impregnated them, and now these 3 want to throw it all away for their 15 minutes of FAME..HE IS SUCH A TOTAL JERK..that baby doesnt need to know that the low life ever existed, but he does need to support it..does he think married people always plan on their child at the certain time God gives it to them..oh i am so mad i could bite nails..he made me ill..and that looser with the rats tail is just trying to make a name for himself, just like that lawyer that agreed to take the case..there is a good chance their own fathers didnt really want either of them..now keep it in your pants from now on buddy if all you wan is a cheap thrill..your kind never commits to anyone..and i hope no decent woman ever gives you the time of day again..i need some coffee..

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moonglow58

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April 21, 2006, 7:37 am PDT

I agree with the guys...sorry girls

I agree with the guys that if they don't want to be a father and express this to the female in the begining of the relationship then she should also respect that wish and if she can't or won't then she should say, "sorry, no sex". In this case he told her in advance and she told him she couldn't get pregnant, yes he should have worn a condom from the start but she should also have used some protection, which she said she was on the pill. I don't feel he should be held responsible for a child he never agreed to or wanted to have.

Hopefully this will never come down to something like the prenups where you have to sign an agreement not to try and get pregnant and if she does then he isn't responsible for it if they both use protection to prevent it.

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powers009

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April 21, 2006, 7:38 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: jimkohl

Jim

I take issue with this because I know quite a few women who have children and their ex husband or ex boyfriend has custody and they now pay child support. You probably did not pursue child support or you would have gotten it. A woman has to go to court to get child support so does a man. No difference here.

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jayne_mav

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April 21, 2006, 7:38 am PDT

I swear I'm not picking on you

Quote From: mmjeffrey

If that gentleman did not want to be a father, he should have kept it in his pants and not out there having sex. I believe that his actions speak louder than words. He did have a choice to not become a dad. It was abstaining. That was his first choice. His second choice was using protection!!!! I believe that men can blame women all they want about "their choice" --- women can have their belief system where they believe that life exists at conception. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A FATHER!!!!

Ok - i just feel the need to point out that i have seen this message quite a few times on the boards - if you don't want to be a father keep it in your pants. Here in lies his point. No one has to say to a woman - if you don't want a baby, don't have sex. Because they have the OPTION of aborting or giving up a baby should they have an unwanted pregnancy on their hands. Where is that option for men? If Matt's girlfriend had decided she didn't want the baby - would anyone be making a fuss? No because we made it a LAW that SHE has options. I don't think it's unreasonable that men should have equal rights.

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kellyghia

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April 21, 2006, 7:38 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Oh, for god's sake...................If you want a "choice" in this kind of situation, get a vasectomy and protect yourselves. If you change your mind and want to be a responsible father in the future, they're reversible.

Man up..................instead of hiding behind an attorney.

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