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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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carrieapp

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April 21, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT

Women are so irresponsible!!!!!!!!!!

Quote From: jostman199

Fact: the government of the USA says everyone deserves equal protection under the law

Fact: women can have sex yet still choose not to be a parent AFTER conception

Fact: men deserve this same right/choice

Is everyone forgetting that this man was told she could not get pregnant???????? He didn't want a child and she told him not to worry. Why should he be held accountable for HER ACTIONS--SHE LIED AND TRAPPED HIM!!!!!!!!!! He did not just meet a woman, have unprotected sex with her then walk away from an unfortunate oops!! So many women are so selfish that they are willing to put blame on the wrong people--OPEN your eyes lady's WE ARE NOT VICTIMS- when you make a choice you should live with it and not drag people down because your remorseful--KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING BEFORE YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!! Protection is available to women in case you have all forgotten!!! IT IS YOUR BODY, if you don't want a baby maybe you should do something about that yourselves and not make everyman you sleep with take on that responsibility!!!!!

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camala1

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upset

April 21, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT

Dubay

Quote From: mgambino79

Whether or not that man believes his constitutional rights have been violated or not, the fact is now there is a new person who did not ask to be brought into this world. Whether or not it was agreed upon that they wanted or did not want children, his sperm met with that woman's egg and they both created a life. Now, for the next 18 years, that life needs to eat, have clothing, become educated, have a roof over its head, etc., and by his refusal to pay child support, and if the court actually decides in his favor, he has just decided that that child will suffer from lack of adequate care unless the woman can provide everything on her own because he just needed to get his rocks off and not want to take responsibility for his actions. That is not right. Not right at all. That baby needs all of the support from both parents and it would be a sad day in America if our judicial system vacates the order to pay child support. Even if he doesn't want any part of the baby's life, he needs to pay his fair share so that at least the mother can do her best in providing for the child.

I couldn't believe my ears watching Dr. Phil today. Who in the H*ll is this Mel Feit. He DOESN'T EVEN HAVE KIDS. Yet he sat up on the stage talking blah blah blah crap! Also this Dubay

"KID" I CAN'T call him a "MAN"! I am so outraged by this whole lawsuit its PATHETIC! Its such a waste of the courts time and OUR Tax money for this case to even be heard. This poor pathetic guy got a girl pregnant and now does not want to pay for it and wants no responsibilty. Yet he unzipped his pants and slid it in and had a ride with this woman. Imagine what would happen if this "KID" got a sexually transmitted disease, would he fight her in court! Saying OMG she gave me a VD and she said she didn't have any diseases. Its a JOKE. IF YOU DON'T WANT KIDS DON'T AND I STRESS DON'T HAVE SEX. As i was taught when i was a teenage ABSTINANCE! At least this way you know there will be NO accidents. Dubay told Lauren i am not ready to be a father, then your not ready to take the RESPONSIBILTY to have SEX! Geez what part of this does he not get!~!

The point is a child was born, so step up to the plate be a "MAN" and take responsibilty for your ACTIONS!!!!!

I would of loved to hear what this Dubay's mother or Grandmother had to say about him taking this to court!

The fact that this Dubay wants EQUAL rights as woman- he wants to be able to have a choice to go have SEX with a woman and if an "accident" happens then he can just throw up his hands and say OOps well i don't want a baby and i told the girl i was having sex with that i didnt want a baby. so therefore i should have no responsibilty! THAT IS JUST JACKED!

There are things that are fair and there are things that just are.. this my friend is a thing that just IS!

I want to reach out to Lauren and say you had a bad judgement in choosing the guy you choose to have a sexual relationship with but just know if for some unsightly reason his case ever does get heard and he does win (which i think hell will freeze over before this ever happens) just know that your daughter is part of God, Elizabeth may share the DNA of this "KID" But, she was created by a higher power!

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dlemke

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April 21, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT

Accountability.....What's That?

This is the first time I have been to this site. Normaly it is sufficient for me to just yell at the television if I disagree with what one has to say. Matt and his team of distruction have really hit a nerve. They seem to be the epitome of society, expressing lack of accountability and placing no value on human life. I am so sad for the baby that had no choice in this matter. I do hope that Matt would step back from these men who seem to have a strong influence on his behavior. I doubt that they will win this case, but if they do......how tragic our world has become!

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ruthkovac

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April 21, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT

Man who won't admit fatherhood

I would hope that sometime soon you will become a Christian and will realize that God loves everyone - even you. Your baby is precious and you should want to have input into her life. Life is so short - do you want to be known as a "cold hearted man?"

I hope you will find God and get your life straightened out.

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biggity10

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April 21, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I am a single mom of a 4 month old baby. The father of my son wants nothing to do with him. Yes i made the choice to have sex but i am also responsible for my actions. Why should my child have to suffer. No I wasn't ready to become a mother either, but we have to realize that the child is the innocent one here, he didn't choose this we chose it for him. I don't believe in abortion so that was never an option for me. I couldn't believe how many people told me I should have an abortion because it wasn't fair for my child to be raised without a father, and that I wouldn't be able to give him the life he deserves. But is it really fair to end the life of an innocent child because of one careless, irresponsible, night of pleasure? I can not believe how cruel and inhumane people can be. That's what 's wrong with our society people are not responsible for their actions whatever it may be and often go for the easy way out of things. If you are big enough to do the "crime" then you should be big enough for the consequences. I don't regret my choice in choosing to keep my child, I regret the actions that lead me to this situation and my irresponsibility. I also regret the type of person I chose to be the father of my child. And no It's not about the money and it has never been about money, its about a human life. If your man enough to do the deed then be man enough to pay the price. This is a CHILD! Although raising my son on my own is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, its all worth it and I would do it again. A child is a blessing, a true gift from God and I love my son more than anything.

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danidekker

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April 21, 2006, 4:13 pm PDT

Have we forgotton how to say it's my fault

Matt says he wasn't given the same "choice" that every woman can make. Why should he be entitled to the same choice as a woman? He isn't one. He doesn't face the same problems as a woman faces in regard to reproduction. An example would be to become pregnant due to a rape. Though a man can be raped he can't become pregnant as a result. If a woman chooses to have an abortion or adoption the man does not have to deal with the same emotions that the woman is left with for the rest of her life. Matt does have a choice which he has very clearly made already...... The choice to be completely void as a father. No one can force him to be "Daddy". He already has the right to not care about the child. But why should he avoid having to take responsibility? People have to pay for reckless behavior all of the time. It's not about a choice it's about responsibility.

Bottom line if you don't want to have a baby just do the ONLY thing that you can TRUST with 100% assurance, PRACTICE ABSTINENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! If however you CHOOSE to have sex you must take responsibility for the consequences. If Matt was misled in some way that is truly unfortunate. But that does not remove his DNA from the child or his financial obligation.

I fear that some day with life experience behind him Matt is going to realize that he has made a dreadful error. One for which under these circumstances he may never be forgiven. I'm also very curious as to how his parents feel about this. They have a beautiful grand-daughter which I would imagine they have no contact with either. Are they choosing support their son's irresponsibility?

This story has literally made my heart hurt for the only truly innocent person in this predicament, Elizabeth. Our society has taken "It's not my fault" to new levels. I'm ashamed of our culture in this way. Where did our integrity go?

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natasha3

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April 21, 2006, 4:13 pm PDT

disgusted...

Those 3 men were absolutly disgusting! You have to be kidding! If he wants to make sure he isn't a father, he shouldn't have sex! That's the only way to be 100% sure. And what choice should he have once she is pregnant. She is the one who has to be pregnant for 9 months, give birth, and then be the main caretaker of the child. I agree that it is just another way for dead beat dads to get away with not taking care of their kids! My dad has 3 children all from different mothers and im sure he owes child support for all of them because i know he's behind with mine. It is unbelievable that old men think they know whats best for a woman and her child...

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jayne_mav

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April 21, 2006, 4:13 pm PDT

Still missing something

Quote From: masschr3

Ok, I have a daughter that after 1 year I divorced her father, he did not want to be part of her life, however, I thought she had a right to see who her father was and inforced visitation.

To this day, I wish I had not, (I did receive child support, but also had to fight) he has not changed his responsibility to her and it is so hurtful for her, however, she has learned to let go and get on with her life. She is a wonderful child and person and has the biggest heart for the world. She also started the teddy bears to Oklahoma when the bomb hit the federal building and helped a lot of people giving like she did. We raised 500 teddy bears and off they went to help heal anyone who needed one to talk to, especially the children, out of the mouths of babes!!!

My point about Matt is - no condom - no defense. When you insert yourself to a young girl, or woman, you better be ready to be a daddy. Of course, the condom is not 100% effective, and that may be where God steps in.

Maybe Matt should really consider if he is going to have sex with girls, wormen, whomever, he should seek a medical doctor to have a vasectomy, and later in life when he wants to have children, he can always have it reversed.

So Matt, if you use your brain the way God intended you to reason with, you might consider this instead of stating "I'm not the Daddy.", especially when IT IS YOUR DNA that is running through the veins and life of the child.

Now consider this also, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE HAD THIS BEEN DONE TO YOU BY YOUR FATHER? PUT YOUR FATHER IN YOUR PLACE AND THEN THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL. NOW THINK HOW YOUR CHILD (LIKE IT OR NOT) IS GOING TO FEEL SOMEDAY. By taking this to court you not only are harming YOUR CHILD you are harming yourself. When that child grows up and finds a court case about his father stating "I'm not his father.", just imagine what that child will feel later on in life. (Remember, how would you feel???)

DO PEOPLE NOT THINK THINGS THROUGH ANYMORE?

WELL, LET'S SEE WHEN WE ARE YOUNG, WE ONLY ENJOY THE FEELING OF SEX, NOT THE CONSEQUENCES, BUT WHEN THE CONSEQUENCES HAPPEN, WE LOOK TO MOM AND DAD FOR HELP, BECAUSE WE DIDN'T THINK. I ONLY HOPE, MOM'S AND DAD'S OUT THERE WILL PUT THEMSELVES IN THEIR CHILD'S SHOES AND REALIZE HOW THEY ARE FEELING BEFORE EVER SAYING WHAT THEIR CHILD SHOULD DO.

REMEMBER: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. LIVE BY THAT AND MAYBE A LOT OF THOUGHTS WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD.

Thanks for listening.

     Here you are saying - consider this "how would you feel if it was your father doing this" - and i'll give you it would suck huge - ESPECIALLY when you add in that your mother signed you up for the deal. How would you feel if your mother knowing that your father DID NOT WANT to have a child - and you went ahead and chose to get pregnant AND proceed w/ the pregnancy AND raising the child - subjecting YOU to the aftermath of HER actions. And don't give me that crap about "if you don't want kids don't have sex" unless you can tell me those are the only options a woman has.
    I believe in God and I believe that sex should be saved for marriage. But until we make THAT a law - let's deal w/ the situation realistically - people will continue to have sex and woman will continue to control every decision there after.
    The ONLY reason i don't think Matt should win in court is because it will give a free ticket to every horny teenage guy out there. But I do believe Matt has a point and this girl should give him HIS CHOICE!

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jettav

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April 21, 2006, 4:13 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: lieven

Thats the EXACT argument against abortion. So, are you consistant enough to demand that women: " then don't have sex and take chances or go get an operation " ?

" Her body, her choice... HER *responsibility* ! "

I am 100% against abortion..........

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garnet27

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April 21, 2006, 4:13 pm PDT

Do you have the right ?

Quote From: ahbinya

Despite needing to be constantly fed, comforted when crying, nursed, held, burped, soothed, and loved, the man's new baby is still less selfish than the father and his cry for "my rights".

I don't understand why men think that when they have sex, they don't always have a chance of getting a woman pregnant. Every man should know by now that NO CONTRACEPTION method is 100% effective. When you make the commitment to jump into bed with someone of the opposite sex, you run the risk of getting a woman pregnant. I thought every man understood that by now. And having a child is an 18+ year responsibility. And if a man does not want to pay child support, and the same for women, depending on the circumstances, then these people do not have the right to see or have contact with their children in any way. But I will say this much: Think about how much you may regret it in the future if you make choices like this.

And for the man who does not want to pay child support because his girlfriend told him she couldn't get pregnant but did, You should know not to believe any girlfriend when she says something like that, UNLESS YOU HAVE PROOF ! That is why I have my fiance go into all my doctor's appointments with me. So he can't catch me in a lie. I don't believe in lying to my fiance anyway. I am too protective of my relationship with him. Because I Love him and I know he Loves me.

And the man who is living on his roof, I think you are being childish, but I do have to agree with you. Children should sleep in their own rooms, that is what a bedroom is for. I used to babysit four children, for my sister, and I never let them sleep anywhere except in their own room. But you need to come down from the roof and start taking charge of the situation. Not every decision needs to be discussed with the spouse. Y'all need to just grow up. My God !!

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