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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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groovy

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April 22, 2006, 1:56 pm PDT

Amazing

Quote From: lieven

Yes, there is a distorted version of equality. Women demand the right to make ALL the choices

about reproduction, then demand that men pay half. Well, try to find any other legal jurisdiction where one can have no say/authority, but have half the duty to pay. There isn't one.

As far as being equally topless, well, Ontario has had that for years. Pretty much NO women seem want to actually want to USE that " right ", though, so thats yet another Sexist Straw Woman MS-direction. My fiancee even pointed that out to me, at Canada Day...

Now, since there are 58,000 dead MEN's names on the Vietnam Wall, and only 8 women's, let us know when you gals are ready for *that equality*...

How dare a man actually get legal help, when a woman demands he pay her for HER choice !

Imagine ! A man who actually believes that Equal Rights ARE Equal Rights ! What will men do next, speak when we want to, or spend our money how we want to, which won't be on anything

that Oprah likes, by the way...

" Threatening his power ", indeed. Try that on, when you get told by a Kourt to pay for someone else's actions and choices... But, a total lack of *empathy*, that you have down cold. Emphasis

*cold*...

" Her body, her choice... HER *responsibility* ! "

So what if women in Ontario don't choose to use that right. We women in the U.S. don't have that choice. Guess we should declare ourselves unequal & get out of our financial obligations just like Matt is trying to do.

The rhetoric & twisted logic you & Matt are using to try to justify men not paying for the children they father is amazing. In your world, men can breed like dogs & not have to pay a cent for the children they father.

"Matt's penis, Matt's sperm, Matt's choice to have unprotected sex... MATT's responsibilty"

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geo5char

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Happy

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April 22, 2006, 2:03 pm PDT

Read every word

Quote From: thequeen63

hmmm.... $20 times five days average worked a week... times 4.3 weeks in a month... tally $430.00 a month .......no matter what way you do the math.... not the $120 a month you claim.... AND if that single mother makes more than poverty wages the government does NOT subsidize child care!!!!!!!!

I said I paid $120 for two children/month and $20 a shift on the weekends total being $280 for two kids. I worked a 40-48 work week at the time my children were babies. People need to stop and actually do the math that it takes to raise a happy, healthy baby. There are options out there. If one state is to expensive then move to a better one. It's called a budget, being smart with ones money. I agree the other parent needs to help out but at what expense? We shouldn't be making money off of our children. And some of the child support orders are UNFAIR!

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pigeonetta

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Mellow

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April 22, 2006, 2:04 pm PDT

Men have rights too

I am a 24 year old single woman in college and expecting my first child any day now. When I first found out that I was pregnant it was less than a week after my boyfriend and I broke up. When I went over there to tell him I was pregnant the first thing I told him was that if he wanted nothing to do with the child that was okay. It was my choice to keep the child and he deserved the same choice. I don't feel it is fair for a man to have to see or pay for a child that he didn't want. If we have the choice to have the baby or not men should have the choice to.

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abena72

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Mellow

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frustrated

April 22, 2006, 2:10 pm PDT

The baby deserves a better father

The young man who claims he is not father because he didn't consent to being a father is crazy. He has obviously fooled himself into thinking that is even possible. Listen, he had sex with the woman and he acknowledges that, he also acknowledges that the baby is his...HE IS THEREFORE A FATHER. Now if I was him and a woman told me she couldn't get pregnant I would really wonder why she was taking birth control. If she can't get pregnant she wouldn't need birth control. Now he sits there telling the world that he told her he wasn't ready to be a father, he told her this and he told her that but he still had sex with her without a condom. He didn't do enough. On top of which he is whining and complaining about his rights. I would hesitate a guess, women have more decision making power when it comes to having babies simply because they carry the child and they also give birth...he needs to get over that. If he doesn't want to be a father fine, but don't pretend to be the victim here. The only victim here is that beautiful baby and after listening to him I really think she deserves so much more than him anyway. Oneday he will regret this behavior, I hope she will be able to forgive him for it.

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momwith7

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angry

April 22, 2006, 2:10 pm PDT

Hyprocrite NOT!

Quote From: xander2575

So men should be forced to be responsible and women have the choose. I say we make abortion illegal again so both parties and made to take responsibility. If you believe in abortion well the you are a hypocrite plain and simple.

First I never said anything saying that I do or do not believe in abortion. Therefore maybe you should be more careful when reading. Men are not forced to take resposibility they chose to become resposible for a human life when they make the choice to have sex. Do I believe that women should be responsible as well, of course. The point is...people are trying to blame other people for the consequences of their own actions. Men and women alike should take responsibility. So how does this belief make me a hypocrite?

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limekat

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April 22, 2006, 2:14 pm PDT

men are pigs

Haven't women figured this out yet? Women need to protect themselves before they have sex and get pregnant, not after. If not in a loving committed relationship where children would be welcome, use every form of birth control known to man to avoid this situation. I do this and I am married. I have 2 perfect kids and I am done. I religiously take my birth control. My husband is now planning on getting the big V.

The woman is responsible for her body and that baby if she gets pregnant. She should have the choice whether she even tells him she is pregnant. She has the choice whether to keep the baby, not him. Once told, he should have the choice to not be a part of the child's life, including financially. A woman and her child should not even have a deadbeat like that in their lives. Forget him and move on. Figure out how to survive without him. This will save everyone years of fighting and unhappiness.

However, if married, you obviously are going to have sex. If one of a couple does not want a baby or additional babies, then go on birth control or get fixed. No one should be bullied into having a baby. It is hard work! If she accidentally gets pregnant, you are married. You love each other. You will have to work through it. If a woman gets pregant or has kids while married and the husband leaves, he is absolutely responsible for helping her financially.

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geo5char

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Happy

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April 22, 2006, 2:14 pm PDT

I agree

Quote From: beertje

I work with child care assistance and if (AND ONLY IF) you fit within specific income guidelines may you qualify for child care assistance in my state. Other states do not even offer assistance for child care. It also depends up where you live as to what the child care costs are. In my state, infant costs are at the top nationwide and 3rd in the nation for toddler-school aged kids, including in the metro area to be $400/wk PER child at school-aged kids. Up to $40/day for infants in rural areas. The costs are real, as inflated as they may be. The government also needs to address how to change the ever-increasing health insurance rates. The rates are inflating beyond justification. My family health insurance alone is $1,200/mth. That's crazy! Something needs to change in these areas without dumping the burden soley on the custodial parent.

The costs seemed inflated to me. But you're right, unless I live in the state from which someone else lives in I wouldn't know the costs. The government needs to change the cost. Where I come from our licensed daycare workers are only making a mere $2-3 an hour above our min. wag. so other then the other costs of running the daycare....where is the money going to?

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shebrady

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Happy

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April 22, 2006, 2:14 pm PDT

grow up

Matt needs to grow up. He did have a choice in the matter if he wanted to be a parent or not. Matt had choices the night that he had intercourse with this child's mother. Since he knew that he wasn't ready to be a father yet then he could of worn a condom or chosen not to have intercourse. If you're not ready for the responsibilty of being a parent then don't have intercourse. He said that the child's mother was on the pill & that a Doctor told her that she couldn't get pregnant. Doctor's are only human and can make mistakes just like every one-the pill doesn't always work. I have 2 friends who got pregnant when they were taking the pill. The only one that Matt is hurting is his daughter. Even if he wins his case he still has a daughter and some day she may come knocking on his door...

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debra3742

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Good

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April 22, 2006, 2:15 pm PDT

What about the baby !!!

In my opinion Matt is a cold hearted human being!!! How could you deprive that baby of all she deserves holding her loving her feeding her! Oh i know, he will pick only the children he wants when he wants and deny this child, oh just wait till she is old enough to ask for "daddy". My heart goes out to her, for his actions she will suffer emotionally always he is self-centered, i heard his comment that he felt he was deceived by his ex-girlfriend but truly most women know we get pregnant at the most inopportune moments life isnt always by a plan and he wants equal rights i say...LET HIM GO INTO LABOR AND GIVE BIRTH! then turn around and say you dont want that baby, equality in this department it will never happen. Not even all about the $$ he is a heartless human to disregard a child. To the mother take sole custody and let him go to hell!

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iriskgjs

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Touched

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April 22, 2006, 2:16 pm PDT

Perhaps Matt should have taken precautions!

How immature and smug you are, Matt! If a woman does not want children, she is responsible for the precaution. The same rule of thumb applies to you! Since apparently. it didn't; a beautiful child, and a young mother have to suffer your display of indifference. This isn't a wrong color of car ordered, or an improperly altered pair of pants; this is a living, breathing human being that you so choose to not "support". Support to you is just a few bucks given once in a while-support to the child's mother takes on a totally different meaning. I don't think that you even deserve to be lectured - just pay the "support", get out of their lives and move on. Or better yet, do all involved a favor and sign off all parental rights to the baby, and disappear! To make sure that this doesn't happen again get a vascetomy!!!!

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