Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Father's have rights when it comes to fatherhood.  Men have complete control over their bodies and I hope they understand that accidents happen, and this includes dishonest women and contraception failure.  Risk is on both sides... for both men and women.  I guess the point that made me feel uneasy during this segment  was when I heard men should be on equal playing fields as women (or something to that effect).  There is a natural unequality with having children.  Women take a huge emotional and physical tolls when having children and I think men just need to stay out of this one.  I feel this "second choice" as they call it should remain with the women until men can find a way to have children outside of our bodies.  To me, men have a choice and don't need a second choice.    Although this lawsuit looks like it has a good intentions, I feel it will ultimately hurt our women.  In the big picture, I wish men would stop competing with women and take responsibility and respect us.  Women are strong but we need to protect our rights.  This issue is huge to me and I wish our country would grow strong, responsible men instead of  "victimized", score keeping men who comepete with it's own women.        

You need to grow up and accept the consequences of your own actions.  ANY time two people engage in sex, there is always a chance of pregnancy.  You are an adult (chronologically speaking anyway). You knew what you were doing when you fathered this child.  Now you have a child and it is time for you to be a father. 

You seem to assume that your child's mother lied to you.  That isn't necessarily so. I was told by a fertility specialist that because of a health condition, I would need surgery to be able to get pregnant.  Three years later I had my son (a wonderful surprise:).  My mother got pregnant with my baby brother late in life when she was told that she had completed menopause.   

There are no perfect, fool proof ways to have intercourse with a woman and take no chance to have a baby.  The only way to ensure that you won't be a parent is to not have sex. 

Nobody is saying that woman is the victim in this situation.  The BABY (aka: innocent child, person who needs parents to love, raise, and nurture her, etc.) is the victim.  If he was so naive to believe that, then okay, fine.  He is still the father.  And what if she honestly believed she couldn't have kids???? We have all heard stories of people with their tubes tied and everything else who end up pregnant.  So, by your point, she didn't wait until she got married, but that doesn't change the fact that she got pregnant, and she didn't do it alone.  So, maybe he should learn that their are alternate methods that he can use to take care of his needs that don't involve someone he might impregnate until he's ready to get married and have kids as well.   

But back to the victim, the baby is the one who is not at fault here, and he needs to get over himself and do what's right.  However, if she had a choice in who her parents are, I'm sure she could do with out the lame 'boy' who can't step up to the plate because he isn't ready yet.  He doesn't deserve her!!! 

My personal opinion of the man is that he is a smug and arrogant jackass, and she should not want him as an active part of this child's life.  Having said that, I think his attorney and that idiot from the center for men are treading on dangerous ground.  The road to Hell is paved with good intentions (not that I think the client has any good intention).  If this case is won by the father the door is opened for any man who doesn't want to pay child support to step up and say he didn't want the child, it wasn't his choice, and he has no responsibility.  This attorney is naive to think otherwise. I can't believe they actually tried to say he didn't have unprotected sex.  That argument won't fly anywhere.  No condom is unprotected sex. Birth control is not just the woman's responsibility.  If he had used a condom and she still got pregnant, would he still be screaming that she tricked him?  I disagree with the guy from the center for men 100% when he says this guy will be a great father "when he chooses" to have a child.  He can say that, because he didn't choose it,  the baby isn't his until the cows come home, but that doesn't make it true.  The substance of his character is ringing through loud and clear.  No woman should ever want him  to father a child again!  The child is already here.  You can't unring a bell.  He is not being asked to take complete financial responsibility, only a small part.  He needs to buck up and be a man and take responsibility for this child, just like the mother is doing.  

               Dear Dr Phil, 

                                          I understand that if he was forced to have sex with her it might be different. They had a relationship going on. They both made the decision to have sex. I feel that even though he doesn't want to be a father then he had the right to say I don't want to have sex. Since he had sex and a baby is the result of it he needs to step up to the plate or give up all rights to the baby. I really feel sorry for the baby because she didn't do anything but be born. I would hate to see what will happen when she gets older and she finds out that her father didn't want her or love here. That is the unforgivable. He needs to be man!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop the bull and think of the kid. Too many kids don't know who there mothers and fathers and our looking for them to love them and why did they give them up. Do you want  your little girl knowing that dad doesn't love her and dosen't want her. Just think when she gets older . You will be back on Dr. Phil explaining to her why you didn't love here. Do you really want that.                From a mom!