Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

I think men have to step back and look at the fact that women are the ones who have to go through everything.  The body changing and giving birth.  And a mother as a connection with that baby from the minute she knows she is pregnant. a man will never know what that feeling is like.   I am not saying that women should have the whole say.  Because if she doesn't want the baby and the father does then she shouldn't be allowed to get an abortion or put it up for adoption the father should get the baby.  But then in return the women should have to pay child support just as a man would have to.  The cards shouldn't be held all in the woman's hands just because she is the one who has to go through everything. And the cards shouldn't all be held in the father hands either.  Things should have to be 50 50 it is that way to make a baby then it should be with the decisions that come with having a baby.  I know that means that there would be fighting over what to do in terms of adoption or abortion.  But what if one is againist abortion.  Well I have the answer adoption the option of abortion shouldn't even be legal.  That gives them an easy out.  Take that out of the cards that baby didn't ask to be made by to careless people then give them up for adoption there are wonderful people out there.  I feel that for it to be fair for both men and woman they should make abortion illegal so not one can force the other to have one when the other doesn't want to.  And then if one wants then that one can fight fairly.  The women should not hold all the cards.  But if one wants to keep the baby no matter what side man or woman then the other should pay child support.  You had the choice before you had sex to protect yourself and if you don't then  know what would most likely happen then.  You made that choice before you even knew that you were going to have a baby.  And if you choose to not be there for that child that child will know and probably let you know when they get older and let you know what you could have been apart of.  But I think either way that no parent should have the right to financially turn their back on a child.  That child/baby will be the one to suffer not the parent.  

Dr. Phil-  

Where was your usual candor with Mr. 'I got tricked?'  Were you empathizing with him just a bit too much, or were you concerned about raising the ire of some components of your fan base?  

Your guest did have one option you failed to mention... He could have kept his pants on!   Yes, I can empathize with his position on the subject, but someone with such an immature outlook regarding his responsibility for a life he co-created was not mature enough to engage in sex in the first place!!!   Pregnancy aside, did he give any thought to the very real possibility that instead of a baby he could have been faced with bankrolling another 'life [or death] sentence' ie., HIV and Aides, or a host of other STD's?  Incidentally, if they haven't been, both parties should be tested.  

Taking part in risky behavior carries RISKS.  If he were talking about Herpes instead of a baby, he would not have a legal leg to stand on...and likely won't in this scenario!  

Please do not misunderstand.  If what he is saying is true and the young lady in question did lie to him, she should be ashamed of herself.   Entrapping a man is a deplorable and desparate act. She has, however, assumed responsibility for the outcome of her actions, as should he.   

You're absolutely correct.  His rights take a backseat to the rights of the innocent life that BOTH created.    

Your guest should get over himself and get on with caring for his daughter!  

Why did he get between her legs. She was not saying she did not want to be a mother. He did not want to be a dad. So Why should he not take responsiblity for his wants and needs why should she have not spread her legs. He was not wanting a baby he could have choice not to get between them. MEN ARE NOT WOMENS responsibily as many seem to think. She was taking the pill she was told she could not have kids she was doing something at least to prevent  having a baby. At least trying. What was he doing to protect his self?? Seems to me the only thing he was concerned with was getting a nut now doesnt it. Let take pregancy out of the picture what about aids and stds. CONDOMS MEN CONDOMS There is more at risk these days then having a baby. Protect your life. 

Interesting law suit - however I as a woman - would be concerned.  THis could set a dangerous precedent for many "fathers" who were careless, having unprotected sex... and then state "I don't want to be a father."   

This case is a little more complicated, as apparently the woman said that she could not get pregnant.  Was that a lie?  Did she try to just trick the guy into a relationship?  We have heard about babies being born with a job of keeping mom and dad together - was that one of these babies?  I do not know. 

However, what I do know is that the guy had unprotected sex - apparently he enjoyed it.  We all have had biology and sex classes - we all know that when we have unprotected sex, WE COULD GET PREGNANT!!!!  If he does not want to be in his baby's life, that is his choice.  But he is 50% of that baby, and therefore has at least financial responsibilities.  There is no way around it. 

What I do wonder, though, are these people (both mom and dad) not adult enough to discuss with each other?  I don't believe that dad does not have a choice...  Healthy mature parents DO DISCUSS the fate of their children - adoption, abortion, whatever other choices there are out there.  It is not just the mom's choice.  ANd if you are not mature enough to see that there are indeed two people involved in this, then you should not have children in the first place. 

Since we don't hear the mother (except for a statement that puts one opinion against the other), we do not know where the truth lies.  However, they both should be mature enough to discuss what is the best for their little daughter...  I believe that a baby needs both, mom and dad... so maybe they should really discuss adoption, as there are plenty of parents out there that could give that little girl all the love and caring she deserves.