Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

The Michigan Attorney General's Motion to Dismiss is now available on the internet on the Courthouse News Service at http://www.courthousenews.com/disc8_toc.htm  Scroll down to the Dubay story posted on April 24, 2006 and click on "motion to dismiss." 

The direct link to the motion to dismiss, through the above website is: 

http://www.courthousenews.com/dubay1.pdf 

Come on, ladies.  How long are we going to hold that over men's head as though that entitles us to having everything our way?  Yes, pregnancy can be difficult for women with certain medical problems, just like walking can be difficult for people with certain medical problems -- but for a normal, healthy woman pregnancy is a wonderful  experience -- something her body was designed for.  I loved being pregnant and delivering my baby was the most exciting experience of my life.  How many women would trade that with her husband if she really had the choice? 

Being the person who carries the baby for nine months certainly doesn't entitle us to make all the decisions and have all the power for the next 21 years.  I know men who work back-breaking, miserable jobs all their lives  to support their families.  Isn't it time to give them a little credit and quit whining about those few months of pregnancy as though we are the only gender  who ever sacrificed for their children? 

There is no confusion.  Pre-conception choices are the only way to avoid having to make post-conception choices.  I, to, am glad that my children have the choice to decide when they are ready to be parents.  If they don't want to be parents, they have the choice to abstain.  Knowing how unrealistic that is, if they choose to have sex, whether or not they use birth control, then they choose to be parents if they conceive.  Cut and dry...it doesn't get any clearer than that.  The choice has always been equal.  The problem is, people want to have a choice when it is already too late.   

Even though I agree with Matt's position completely, I don't think his law suit will be successful. This is about money and the state's interest in keeping children off the welfare roles. So, right, wrong or otherwise, he's stuck with his partner's choice to give birth and keep a child that she knew prior to conception was going to be an unwanted, rejected child. 

I honestly don't see how anyone can see her as the hero in this. Some say that Matt is the one behaving badly here, but how can anyone with any forethought or sensitivity, give birth and totally disregard the feelings of the other parent or the child they are voluntarily bringing into being? Out of wedlock births are a tragedy and even in the best of circumstances, plenty of money, both parents involved, etc etc..the child starts off with a huge negative. 

To anyone who is saying that the answer is for men to keep it "zipped up" and that is their right, why isn't that the end of it? Both participants can keep it "zipped up" and then in the case of irresponsibility, failed birth control or a huge lie, whomever makes the final decision about the outcome becomes responsible for that decision. A woman can give birth in a bathroom and drop a baby off at any hospital, fire station or church and just walk away. Men should have that same option. 

The answer to me is clear. In all cases, custody should be assumed to be 50/50 immediately, from birth. If both parents have the child the same amount of time, there would be no support either way. There should be no assumption that the taxpayers would become responsible, in the event either parent or both, can't afford to raise a child. Somehow, I think if you take money out of the equation, this would happen far less frequently. Would the mother in this case be ok with that? Having Elisabeth with her Dad and paternal grandparents 50 percent of the time? Totally equal time and responsibility.  

I realize that this is not what Matt has in mind, and wouldn't work for him and others who have simply and clearly stated that they don't want to be parents. But I don't think he should be held hostage for 18 years or longer against his will.  

BTW, I am a retired woman, with 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. The oldest of my 3 children, I raised by myself. His father wasn't interested in being a parent and I didn't want to spend my life in court, forcing someone to do something they didn't want to do. As a result of my decision, my son grew up in peace. He began a relationship with his father as an adult without any negativity instilled by me. I went without quite a bit through the years but my son had everything he needed and most of what he wanted. I would suspect that most children who are in single parent households live about the same way. It's the mother's who make the sacrifice. But it was my decision, therefore, my responsibility. 

        The one purpose of having sexual intercourse is to conceive a baby.  That is why God created us this way.  Every time a couple partakes in this act, if they have any common sense at all, they are well aware of the potential outcome.  If a man or a women does not want a baby, DON'T HAVE SEX!  I myself had an unplanned pregnancy.  I was a teen mom.   I know how difficult that may be.  I chose to give birth to my child and thank God that he gave me this unexpected gift.  Every baby is a blessing and I wish all people felt the same way.