Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

I hope the appeals court gets it right, too. I also think that there are probably a great number of fathers out there who have no idea that there's something called a "putative father registry" (who talks like that???). Most moms probably also have no idea about such a thing. This tells me two things: 

1. There need to be public service announcements about this registry on television, during the times of expected highest male viewership (e.g. sports). 

2. There needs to be a larger time frame for biological fathers to have the opportunity to come forward. 

I realize that the latter suggestion has to be balanced against the child's best interests. We have likely all witnessed those awful cases where the adopted child was taken, screaming, from the adoptive parents. No matter how one feels about this issue, I think that most people agree that those scenes were heart-wrenching and could not possibly have been good for the child. 

I believe that the Arkansas case of Escobedo v. Nickita illustrates a grave injustice done to a biological father. A synopsis of the case, as well as links to the state supreme court's opinion can be found at http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/family_law/contempt/index.html 

Please keep this board updated on your situation. You sound like the vast majority of men: guys who want and love their children. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

We need change in many areas. This is just heartbreaking for me to read. I know I wrote a few moments ago, but I just can not express how sad I am for you and for your son. Your child, your son, deserves to be raised by you. Every child born should be raised by loving biological parent(s) if the parent(s) want them. There are so many unwanted children born each year, so when one is born who is wanted, that child should go to the parent(s) who love and want him/her. I agree that there should be a national data base. It would be so easy to enact too, just as the opposite would be to enact. We give our fingerprint when we get a drivers license. lets use the DNA from that to set up the data base. In the interests of all wanted children to not fall threw cracks, either by mistake or design, IE the bio-mom who denied her child his rightful father (you). I believe so strongly about these issue which face men every day. I wrote a paper about this in college ten years ago. Which is one of the reasons i joined this message board when I saw the show. That is only one side, a side I would not encourage a son of mine to choice, but I just want the choice there. like this situation. Men have as much right to their children as any mother. I am so tired of hearing the old tired song and dance of "I carried the child, therefor I have all the rights". Which is basically 80% of what I have been reading here. Well, we women need to understand we cannot have it both ways. We must have a fair playing field for both men and women. The laws need to change. The laws are changing, just not quick enough. Again, I am so so sorry. For both of you.  

One last thought. If you do lose you appeal, your son is going to come searching for you some day. What do these horrible people who conspired to steal your child going to say to him when he learns the truth? That he really was wanted and was stolen by manipulating the law? Just in case keep all your court papers to show your son. Lets hope it does not come to that though. I feel no sympathy for this couple who conspired with the birth mother to deny this child his rightful father and you your son. I lost a son too. But to cancer, when he was two. I thought I would die with him, so I have some understanding of your pain. NO my son was not stolen, so that is why I say I have some idea of your pain. God bless you. 

Kansas does not have a registry.  They require you to support the mother six months prior to the birth of your child after having knowledge of the conception.  She led me to believe she was going to have an abortion and I proved this in court.  But to my knowledge no one has ever been able to meet the unknown criteria that could be called support.  I did not support her because I would not support anyone who would kill my unborn child.  She would not tell anybody that she was pregnant she would not show me any proof that she was pregnant she would not go to the doctor and she no longer wanted to see me.  She also stated that she would do anything not to have this baby.  All of this and a lot more was brought up in court but when you are a Catholic schoolteacher and the judge and his family goes to the same church you do and you're priest testifies in the trial.  The Catholic Church wants to keep everything quiet because of the possible conspiracy against the church.  And unwed Catholic schoolteacher getting pregnant.  And judge Michael Corrigan's wife used to work with her current boss.  I had a lot of things against me but I never thought the law would be.  She lied in court saying that she told me about the doctor's appointments and said that she asked for my help.  If you just look at the commonsense side of this.  She had $4000 of expenses that she could barely account for and lied about some of those.  I have spent about $30,000 trying to see my own son.  If I had known about doctor's appointments if I had known that she was following through with the pregnancy if I had known that she was inducing pregnancy early.  I would have been there for my son and for her if she needed my help. 

thank you for pointing out more similarities between my case and his I really hope someday that we do have a national DNA database so that fathers like me will never lose the right to be with their own children.  laws do need to be changed it is not only a constitutional right to raise your own children but a basic human right to be with them.  Unfortunately there are always going to be parents who choose not to be good parents but that right should never be taken away from someone who wants to be there for their children.  I and 36 years old and that was the very first time I ever tried to have a child with anyone unfortunately it was with the wrong person.  So I know it is possible to be careful and only have children when you really want to.  I believe he should pay child support because he is this child's father and always will be.  I would gladly pay child support to see my son 

help me keep people talking about this because it's important that people know how easily children can be taken away from fathers who care 

We would be able to impart on every young woman the value of her body and her own self worth. We don't know if this really was the case in this circumstance, but yes some women do intentionally get pregnant against their partner's wishes. I wish I knew how to convince these women that this deception will almost never give them the happily ever after they are seeking, and no matter how much child support the court might assess, it will be a SMALL drop in the bucket in comparison to the financial and personal sacrifices she will face. I LOVE being a Mom, but I can only imagine how difficult it would be without my loving and supportive husband.  

At the same time, I am SOOOOOO sick of the boys' club mentality of sexual conquests. Why do MEN have the right to bed any woman and never be concerned with the possibility of pregnancy? It is, after all, their sperm, and they had a BIG SAY in where they choose to deposit their sperm. Then they want to back out of any responsibility because they don't like the results of their carelessness? Just as women might be deceptive, you must realize that men (some men) can be exceptionally conniving and dishonest when it comes to commitment and intimacy.  

BOTH men and women need to step up and be a LOT more selective about who trust and become intimate and take control of the variety of birth control available. A condom may not be 100%, but the odds of effectiveness are much greater than NOT WEARING ONE!!   

It is fine that you chose to go it alone. But what the courts have ruled, and rightly so, that the CHILD has a right to be financially supported by both parents and that the STATE has a vested interest in ensuring this support.  

We need change in many areas. This is just heartbreaking for me to read. I know I wrote a few moments ago, but I just can not express how sad I am for you and for your son. Your child, your son, deserves to be raised by you. Every child born should be raised by loving biological parent(s) if the parent(s) want them. There are so many unwanted children born each year, so when one is born who is wanted, that child should go to the parent(s) who love and want him/her. I agree that there should be a national data base. It would be so easy to enact too, just as the opposite would be to enact. We give our fingerprint when we get a drivers license. lets use the DNA from that to set up the data base. In the interests of all wanted children to not fall threw cracks, either by mistake or design, IE the bio-mom who denied her child his rightful father (you). I believe so strongly about these issue which face men every day. I wrote a paper about this in college ten years ago. Which is one of the reasons i joined this message board when I saw the show. That is only one side, a side I would not encourage a son of mine to choice, but I just want the choice there. like this situation. Men have as much right to their children as any mother. I am so tired of hearing the old tired song and dance of "I carried the child, therefor I have all the rights". Which is basically 80% of what I have been reading here. Well, we women need to understand we cannot have it both ways. We must have a fair playing field for both men and women. The laws need to change. The laws are changing, just not quick enough. Again, I am so so sorry. For both of you.  

One last thought. If you do lose you appeal, your son is going to come searching for you some day. What do these horrible people who conspired to steal your child going to say to him when he learns the truth? That he really was wanted and was stolen by manipulating the law? Just in case keep all your court papers to show your son. Lets hope it does not come to that though. I feel no sympathy for this couple who conspired with the birth mother to deny this child his rightful father and you your son. I lost a son too. But to cancer, when he was two. I thought I would die with him, so I have some understanding of your pain. NO my son was not stolen, so that is why I say I have some idea of your pain. God bless you. 

Oh oops, then Julie, I liked "your" swimmers line.  But what I appreciate most is that we shared the same sentiment.  

A. 

FYI I do not have any children and if I did have even ten of them , I am financially able to suppprt them. I do not need child support. But I do have  an open mind and am able to put myself in other people's shoes!  

You think men need choices? Well here is a thought ,how about  wear a condom or keep your pants on?