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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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April 28, 2006, 11:30 am PDT

Stupid

If you didn't want to be a father than use PROTECTION.  I think that he should not be able to get out of being a father.
 
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April 28, 2006, 11:31 am PDT

a choice

If you didn't want to be a father than use PROTECTION.  I think that he should not be able to get out of being a father.
 
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April 28, 2006, 12:16 pm PDT

Oh Please!

Quote From: aldozwife

why on earth could you abort an innocent child... it was your mistake... sometimes trust is betrayed and you know what you gotta live with that... but you murdered and innocent child... you say that with adoption you don't get to see the child... well if you really want to be involved in that childs life than you can work it out with the adoption family to make visits... trust me when some families want babies they are willing to do that...  with abortion you aren't even giving that innocent child a chance to live... it is a BEATING heart and there is no reason to take that away from a baby that did no wrong... why should the baby have to pay for your mistake!!

You know I don't think everyone should think like I do, but I do have my opinion. Sometimes I don't like other peoples opinions (like yours) but I would never say you are wrong because its just your opinion. Maybe some of us don't want to bring our innocent children into a chaotic situation because they are just that "innocent". Maybe some of us want our kids to have happiness in their lives rather than be born with problems. You say it is murder, I say it is saving. Maybe that does mean that some of us are too selfish to have kids...so be it.  Get over yourself and realize people go through with abortions for many different reasons and its not up to you but if you are so concerned than how about you carry the child for 9 months and than raise it after that. And adoption can be harder than aborting because women get attached. Its just the way it is. Oh and if you are interested in adoption maybe you should go overseas to places where the kids need to be adopted. There are so many kids born that don't have someone to take care of them and I would rather adopt one of them then have kids of my own. People are just so quick to have kids because its all about passing on the genes. Seriously what is having a child about? To raise them to be good people or to see if they look anything like you? Get over it and think of the whole world rather then your little corner of it.   

 
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April 28, 2006, 12:24 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: 4301394

I think it is sad you had no emotional reaction to being pregnant.....and you obviously have never had any intimate emotions towards a man...if I read your quote right. Sex should be intimate and an emotional sharing of two people. This is why the debate about this topic is so popular on this message board. I truly feel sorry for you....someone must have really hurt you.....because your qoute sounds like you lack the one thing which seperates us from the animals...lack of emotion
it is too bad that alot of people don't love the one they are having sex with, if they did, then they would respect the other and control their hormones when temptation comes, and care for the unborn child. it is possible to do so but so many people, men and women both just want their fun but not the responsibility of the outcome. Women who abort their babies in my opinion are just as selfish as any dead beat so called father. There is adoption which is a far better choice then to stop a beating heart and the best thing to do to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is to refrain from sex til the right woman/man comes along or at least go get the operation then one won't have to deal with parenthood at all. Sex was created for the enjoyment of two loving people to become as one and to bring life into the world, not to use to manipulate and use another human being for.
 
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April 28, 2006, 12:27 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I dont think men should be able to make the choice of wanting to be the father or not. Otherwise the kid would grow up not knowing who is biological father is and would feel out of place when it looks at other children playing with their dads. Just imagine hoe heartbreaking that could be for the kid. 

 
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April 28, 2006, 12:28 pm PDT

Roe V Wade DID have a negative effect

 

From 1973 through 2000 more than 40 million unborn babies have been aborted in the United States.  Roe V Wade did have a negative impact on our country.   

 
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April 28, 2006, 12:29 pm PDT

Tax payer?

It's surprising how many people have said Matt should support the baby rather than the tax payer.  What?   We seem to be looking for support for this baby from everyone but the person who  made the choice to keep and raise her.  If the mother chooses to for-go birth control, pass on abortion and refuse adoption then why should anyone but she herself be financially responsible for this child.  

  

 I'm a tax payer and I'm sick of paying to raise these babies for their un-wed mothers. 

  

I think we should quit  collecting support from men who were never married to the mothers and quit paying Aid to Dependant Children for the mothers to spend on themselves.  Instead we should have government supported day care for these children that would provide food, basic clothing and care from six to six each day.  No money to the mothers at all; just good food and safe care for the children.  Then we would see how many  single women decide to keep their babies. 

  

  

 
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April 28, 2006, 12:31 pm PDT

Baby Wars

I was sickened by the remarks made by the father on today's show about being able to opt out of being a father.  If you aren't ready to be a parent (mother or father) you already have the choice to not have sex.  Hello!  It takes two to tango.  I think both parents are equally responsible when it comes to having a child.  You, sir, are an adult and know what happens when you have unprotected sex.  If you aren't ready, don't have sex.  Simple as that.  If you messed up, that's your own fault.  There are too many dead beat dads out there already to even conceive making a constitutional amendment allowing them to legally get out of being a parent.  You had a choice before you dropped your pants.  Now, be a father and take care of you child.
 
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April 28, 2006, 12:42 pm PDT

Don't want to pay child support or be a father?

If you men don't want to pay then when you play wear a condom or have the big "V" surgery.  That way if you don't know your partner well enough to be able to trust that she has the problem taken care of like a mommy, you won't have to deal with child support.  A last bit of advice is to move to New Jersey!  Big men in top places there.  That state won't jail the dead beat dads no matter how much they owe, how long they owe it, how long a marriage was or how many kids they wanted or physically forced upon a woman!
 
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April 28, 2006, 12:44 pm PDT

If men want to sign away ALL parental rights FOREVER...

then, yes, let them.  But men need to GROW UP (it's about time, right?) as do too many women!

As my friend put it, "What's it going to take to get people to like wake up and stop acting like sex-crazed farm animals?!  Sex makes babies!  What don't people get about that?!  I mean, there was this like one friend of mine on like 4 kinds of b.c. who still got pg!  She freaked, her husb went and got a vascetomy, but their baby is like totally screwed because he's a special needs child with like no hope for a normal life.  If guys don't want to be a father, why aren't they just man enough to stop having sex!  Or, maybe like have that vascetomy and then no sex until they are like totally sure they are permanently shooting blanks!  But why do the lady's keep giving it away?!  Why do the lady's keep having sex just because like he maybe looks cute or maybe says some nice things or maybe gives you gifts!  If he won't be in a seriously commited relationship before you have sex with him, hon, you are just selling your body for cuteness, for nice words, for gifts!  You are just prostituting yourself!  Lady's, you are above this insanity!!  Guy's are just using us for sex and we are letting them!  This is like crazy!!"

Now that got me thinking ... are we really prostituting ourselves for cuteness and the like?  She has a point and I'm not sure yet how I feel about it ... but I can't deny she has a point.

Until I figure this out, one thing I know: the only 100% sure way to stop an unwanted pregnancy is to not have sex, plain and simple. 

If a baby does result, men need to be man enough to step up to the plate and either pay the child support ... or sign away ALL of their parental rights FOREVER.

If the woman wants to keep the baby, fine, she's going to have to bring it up on her own ... but the baby will suffer for this ... so maybe it would be best to give this baby up for adoption.  Last I heard, there are plenty of decent families looking to adopt these unplanned babies ... why not give them up for adoption if they are such a "mistake"? 
 
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