Message Boards

Home

Message Boards

Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

( Subscribe to this Topic )

wemaolney

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:13 am PDT

Don't have sex

If this young man felt that strong about not having children, he should have not had sex. This is not the middle age and is it quite clear where babies come from. He and two choices to protect himself, no sex or use a condom. He did neither. He gave up his right not be a father when he chose neither of those options.

Read Replies to this Message

brainz1980

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:15 am PDT

Not that easy!!!

Quote From: deborahc

My title says it all. If you are not ready or do not want children, they you should either not have sex or you should use protection. If you end up having a child then you need to step up and be a MAN and take responsibility and not blame the woman because you didn't have a choice. You made the choice when you have unprotected sex.

It is a natural human instinct to want, need and require sex! What are you to say to them? I bet you would call them sick and say they need help. Why do we have sex at all? Its called INSTINCT! Get over it! Humans like sex for pleasure. Men and women don't have sex for the fun of making a child. That would never get you off. Its about pleasure! Yes, morals are missing more and more in amaerica and that will continue. Majority of morals came from Church. Church and State are seperate and we can even say the pledge of allegiance. But there is a fine line between a couple in love having a child by accident and 2 people having sex for pleasure that one doesn't want a child and the other wanted one all along and didnt care who the father was.

Read Replies to this Message

kimike

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:15 am PDT

1 partner for life

Quote From: love24me2

I appreciate the steps we've made in years past for women's rights. I've also been saddened to see the popularity, among women, of an attitude that women are the only ones who have rights where pregnancy and choosing to have the baby or not are concerned.

This is a difficult subject, and ultimately it is the woman who has to bear the child, but both parents have rights and I applaud the show for bringing up this difficult discussion. Both partents have rights and responsibilities and it's time to hear what men have to say on this issue and for us all to seek solutions that take into account both parents and the child.

The only thing I have to say on this is when 2 ppl get together they know the risks involved and should a woman become pregnant and choose not to keep the child then she should've been more responsible. I don't agree with abortion unless it's rape related or family related.

As I said in many of my replies to avoid these situations just choose 1 partner for life.........God didn't want us to sleep with many different ppl he wants marriage and children.......thats the way it should be PERIOD

Read Replies to this Message

tonyaej

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:16 am PDT

Double Standard

First of all, I am pro-choice before conception, not after, and I believe all children deserve two parents that love them unconditionally and completely. I'm not sure that having a father in your life that does not want you or resents you is beneficial in any way. As long as abortion remains legal I don't see any way that a man can be denied the right to choose responsibility at birth. Women have always wanted to be equal and I don't feel any gender should be entitled to rights that another is not. For every argument you can make about why a man is obligated to accept responsibility, you can argue the same for a woman. Except for maybe the "its my body" excuse. That is only a small portion of the demands of raising a child. It is horrible to think that any mother or father would not want their child but if it can be in the best interest of the mother and child to choose another option (such as allowing the father or someone else to assume parental custody) then I think we have to allow fathers the same options.

Read Replies to this Message

kimike

User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
happy

April 21, 2006, 9:16 am PDT

Perfect

Quote From: wemaolney

No one has put it better..............................perfect! Hats off to you :) I agree 1000000000 percent

Read Replies to this Message

araminta

User Mood
Good

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:21 am PDT

HUMAN NATURE, Yes..... BUT

Quote From: brainz1980

It is a natural human instinct to want, need and require sex! What are you to say to them? I bet you would call them sick and say they need help. Why do we have sex at all? Its called INSTINCT! Get over it! Humans like sex for pleasure. Men and women don't have sex for the fun of making a child. That would never get you off. Its about pleasure! Yes, morals are missing more and more in amaerica and that will continue. Majority of morals came from Church. Church and State are seperate and we can even say the pledge of allegiance. But there is a fine line between a couple in love having a child by accident and 2 people having sex for pleasure that one doesn't want a child and the other wanted one all along and didnt care who the father was.

Yes it is human nature to have SEX,,,,, but as PEOPLE we all KNOW where we come from.... This guy KNEW how babies are made, I guess that is why they talked about his "feelings".

You have to have a bigger frame of mind than "pleasure" or you'll end up with AIDS and LOTS 'o CHILDREN!!!!!

Get a grip, instinct is great as long as the truth is there first. YOU CAN GET PREGNANT HAVING SEX!!!! ("YOU" meaning a man and a woman).

Like Dr. Phil said, "She didn't have any way of telling him EXACTLY how she would feel IF she got pregnant, because NOONE can say how they will feel until the situation is THERE for them to actually deal with. AND to hold someone to a standard that was not based on reality, well, you lose."

Read Replies to this Message

mary709

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:23 am PDT

Unwanted fatherhood

Any man who does not want to be a father should:

a. Keep it in his pants

b. Get a vascetomy

c. Keep it in his pants AND get a vascetomy!

Read Replies to this Message

judyblue22

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:25 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: mgetter

I am a mother of two children and I got pregnant out of wedlock with both. It was my decision to fool around, my decision to keep my boys and my decision to raise them Even though they both have the same father, I felt it was my decision to have them and therefore it was my responsibility to provide and care for them. I never asked for child support, I never got any. I took care of their every need with no help from their father. They are now 15 and 17 and prepping for a college eduation. I am not rich and have had to gladly make sacrifices and adjustments to provide for my boys and to fill both the mother and father roles. Yes, the gentleman this morning could have kept his pants on...yes he could get a vasectomy, but why put all the responsiblity on him before the pregnancy when the woman has all the rights after the pregnancy? If they both were there to make the baby, then they both should try and agree on the outcome. But my gripe is, when it comes right down to it, legally, only the mother has the right to decide the outcome of the pregnancy. It was her right to decide to keep the baby even after she knew how he felt, then it should be her responsiblity to take care of her. What about the woman's right to decide to abort a child even though the biological father wants the baby and his decision and desire falls on deaf ears according to our legal system? Here again, the father has no rights because legally, it's still the mother's "right to choose". If it's going to solely be an unwed woman's decision to keep a baby or not, no matter how the father feels, then it should solely be the woman's responsiblity to take care of it. If she knows the father is no-count, a druggie, jobless or she knows that he doesn't want children, then it's her legal "right" to decide to abort the fetus or carry it and put it up for adoption. If neither one of those are a moral option, then she should be ready to care and provide for the child on her own...just like she made the decision to keep it... on her own.

It's still the mother's "right to choose".

It is the mother who has the options after a pregnancy occurs but no woman gets the option Matt is demanding-that he be allowed to walk away from the accidental pregnancy they caused together with absolutely no consequences. No matter what the mother chooses, she has substantial consequences.

If she chooses an abortion, she has to take the physical risks, including death or permanent infertility. She also faces the psychological risk of post abortion depression and the ultimate spiritual risk of damnation (if that is what she believes).

If she chooses to give birth and give the child away, she faces the risks associated with pregancy and childbirth. She will be somewhat physically disabled for several months and her body will never be the same again. She will need medical care both before and after the child is born. Then she takes the risk of an emotional reaction to having all the parent hormones and not having the baby.

If she chooses to have and keep the baby, she has all the above risks plus a financial burden (and an emotional joy :) for at least the next 18 years.

He wants to have all the fun but at absolutely no cost to him. He didn't have her enter into a legal contract that she undertook to accept ALL of the risks of having sex. If she had agreed to do that, I guess I would agree with you. However, I also doubt he would have got laid if he had placed such a contract in front of her-lol.

Read Replies to this Message

peace48

User Mood
Angry

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:27 am PDT

About Matt

This boy needs to grow up. And his attorney needs to get another job. First off, if scares me that someone would think it is a man's constiutuional right not to be a father. What is that all about? Would that keep a child from knowing his or her dad? Would that allow a man to have sex and not take the responsiblity for the child that is born afterward? Not knowing what the result would be of this case makes me real nervous. If the above would be the results, it would take this socity back to the dark ages where a woman is nothing but something to have sex with and the hell with her afterward. A husband could have his jollys and than boom leave with no conseuences of his actions. Can't wait to watch the show today and see for myself what he says and how he says it.

Read Replies to this Message

carriegirl

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

April 21, 2006, 9:27 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: tabisco

I feel Matt has a right to fight this matter in court, by the sounds of it he was lied to by this girl, I think she trapped him. Yes he could have used a condom, but he trusted her on her word. He should not be punished because of her irresponsible behavior and lies. Yes there is a child involved but if he is opposed to being in her life I think she would be better off if he wasn't.

Does Matt have rights? Sure he does. Do I agree men should have rights in this type of situation just like women? Sure. However, let's face reality: contraceptions fail and people lie. They both made the choice to have sex. He needs to quit presenting this as if he's the victim of her lies and present it as he didn't have a choice when the outcome was pregnancy.

Read Replies to this Message

First | Prev | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | Next | Last

Recent Shows: Behind the Headlines | "Bring Me Back My Hot, Se... | Teen Mama Drama | Majoring in Failure? | A Father Accused: Who's T...