Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

  It is quite obvious that Matt was not mature enough to deal with the consequences of his actions and I am inclined to believe that he stated such in the beginning of the relationship. Also, I am  curious as to how many months/years the couple courted before giving birth to Elizabeth. Furthermore, whether or not the mother misrepresented herself (which is speculative) does not change the fact that a life was created as a result of their union.    

  The flaw may not be entirely that of a missing condomn, but in fact an issue of trust and understanding. Had the couple built a stronger alliance between them, then perhaps the surprise pregnancy could have been celebrated and not debated.   

  Personally, I emphathize with the young man in terms of his reasons for denial, however, as a mother, I firmly believe it is in the best interest of Elizabeth that each parent take responsibility for her presence. Whether or not the birth was intended is irrelevant now, it has happened, and so onward the mature parties should move. If Matt chooses to debate, aurgue and reject his biological offspring, then it is Elizabeth who will hurt in the end. Tragically, this is the unfair challenge that is not well deserved.   

Reality check vrs the "Oops" factor   

  Each day millions of us get into our cars sober and buckle up. Sadly, some of us will loose control of our vehicles (or be struck) and an accident will occur.  For the rest of us , we will continue on about our day making decisions we feel are most appropriate for the moment. Collectively, we are changed beings whether of not we influence the change or if we were affected by circumstance. In the end, it is the thing that we call life. In life, we all have responsibilties and actions that we must be accoutable for, this situation is not exempt from its reality. Accepting responsibility, moving forward and personal growth are all elements of maturity. Sadly, many people continue to lead adult lifestyles but refuse to accept the adult consequences.   

My mom did the same thing, and she didn't file on my Dad and he only came by once a year or less. she talked very badly about him all my childhood. But this is not good. The children will feel that a part of their sorry father is in them. Or, even if you don't do the bad talking, they will always feel an empty hole in themselves when they see fathers with their kids. There's no way to keep them from seeing that unless you move to the moon. 

  Now my Dad sees me and my younger brother on friendly terms, but none of us can patch those years in there. He wasn't our Dad. He only sired us. I think he felt so bad about himself that he thought we were better off without him. Maybe we were. But if your kid's Dad is a pretty decent person, you could let him see them from time to time and still not file. 

  It is quite obvious that Matt was not mature enough to deal with the consequences of his actions and I am inclined to believe that he stated such in the beginning of the relationship. Also, I am  curious as to how many months/years the couple courted before giving birth to  Elizabeth. Furthermore, whether or not the mother misrepresented herself (which is speculative) does not change the fact that a life was created as a result of their union.  

 Personally, I empathize with the young man in terms of his reasons for denial, however, as a mother; I firmly believe it is in the best interest of Elizabeththat each parent take responsibility for her presence. Whether or not the birth was intended is irrelevant now, it has happened, and so onward the mature parties should move. If Matt chooses to debate, argue and reject his biological offspring, then it is Elizabeth who will hurt in the end. Tragically, this is the unfair challenge that is not well deserved.    

Dear Dr. Phil, 

I cannot believe that guy!  Not wanting to claim his biological child.  I hope to god that this case gets laughed out of court.  I  can't believe him.  I also feel he has negative influences around him...deterring him from even holding that baby.  There was just something in his eyes that made me think...if he held that baby & spent a day or few hours with the baby... he may think otherwise about his flesh & blood.  Resentment of the babies mother seems to play a role in his actions. 

P.S. What is this world coming to.  Our society makes me not to have a child...even though I would be a good mother.  It's sad! 

Matt has a right to not be lied too. She told him she could not get pregnant. He took her at her word. She knew that he did not want to be a father at that time. So she also had a responsibility that if there was a minute possibility that she could get pregnant that she should had insisted that he wear a condom.   

My husband lived with that same lie. She said she couldn't get pregnant. She did and he married her to do the right thing......three children were born. He loves his kids and supports them. The youngest will be 17 in Aug.    

She left him for another man after 10 years of marriage...and left all three kids with him for 3 years. Then she took the youngest one. Never paid any child support for the two oldest. My husband pay child support for the youngest. This has gone on for the last 9 years.   

He was taken to the cleaners..........she is on easy street.   

I have never had children because I did have a medical condition that prevented me fom it. It has resulted in a Hysteroctomy.   

I believe a lot of women get pregnent to "hook" the man. She has all the power!   

I hope Matt wins his case.....but I fear he will not. That will be a sad day for men.