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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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bluepuff

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July 6, 2006, 3:19 pm PDT

MAtt who doesn't feel he should pay child support

Matt has a LOT of growing up to do. Where does HE have the right to say, "I want nothing to do with this baby" HE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX!!!! May be if he was thinking with the head on his shoulders instead of somewhere else HE wouldn't be in this position. IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO...and then the jerk with the LONG blonde hair....What is he NUTS???? Matt's lawyer also needs to dig deeper as if this case wins ALL THE DAMN DEAD BEATS DADS CAN THEN STATE "IT IS NOT OUR FAULT SHE GOT PREGNANT...SURE WE HAD SEX BUT THE PROTECTION WAS UP TO THE FEMALE"

When you have sex -UNPROTECTED sex and the woman becomes pregngnant regardless as to whether or not you wanted the baby BOTH parents are RESPONSIBLE for the infant. Sure they have the laws now of child abandoment....sure there is abortion (which I don't think is as popular now as it was back in the 1990's) would Matt have paid for the abortion? Probably NOT THe damn condom broke! So it is all her fault???? I don't think so....the lawyer who feels he will win this case????? Your TOO self assured.....what about ALL the dead beat dads out there???? They an come baack stating "O it is her fault as I didn't want the kid" GROW UP MEN!!!! you DECIDED TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX..........She trusted what her physician said....NOT WRITTEN MEDICINE IS IN STONE!! MEN GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE SAND (I am being quite nice here).........sure there are the abortion's which I don't think Matt would have paid for anyway...then there is the child abandonment law...........and whatever else out there. MATT grow up!! Stop whining and be a DAMN man. You need to take the responsibility of this child also. Sure you don't have to ever see the baby though when your daughter gets older and she finds out you didn't want her at all I know the mother will be the emotional sounding board.....I have a question...Matt what about the women out in the world who are raped then find out their pregnant from the rape, etc.......THEY NEVER WANTED TO BE RAPED!! Where the hell are they supposed to stand???? You don't see or hear them crying about it - do you????

The man who has the blonde ponytail....I think your a complete and total jerk.......I have the same question for you and the lawyer.....WHAT ABOUT THE MANY WOMEN WHO ARE RAPED, THEN FIND OUT THEIR PREGNANT FROM THE RAPE....WHAT ABOUT THEM????????????????? YOU CERTAINLY DON'T SEE THEM WHINING ON TELEVISION....GROW UP YOUR A DISGRACE TO YOUR SPECIES.......I am curious as to what Robin thinks of this...........................??

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jebjcjsh

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July 6, 2006, 3:20 pm PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: brandy7901

i did not choose to be a mom i did not ask to get pregnant. But you know what i took responsabilty for my action and so men should to.

You did choose to keep your baby though. You did have a choice! And what makes you so great that because you choose to keep your baby that means all men should have to do the same?

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jburgessjr

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July 6, 2006, 3:21 pm PDT

dont want to be a dad

I agree with matt, he depended on his girlfriend's statement that she could not have children because of a medical condition. My only question is if that were the case Why was she on birth control pills? Justice for men is not available, short of vasectomies and abstinence men do not have a choice about supporting children. Once a child is proven it is his then child support is mandatory. What if he did not want children and his girlfriend or wife claimed she could not get pregnant, does that mean he has to wear a condom to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Short of abstinence, wearing a condom or having a vasectomy men's rights are not defined by law when a child is conceived, whether intended or not. What rights do men have if they do not want children and they are in a relationship? Should we be able to say I don't want children and expect our partner to adhere to our claim? I say yes we should have that right.

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oldusty

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July 6, 2006, 3:22 pm PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: markdc

The man has limited rights. And this has to change. If she knowingly knew that he did not want to be a father, than she made the decision to carry the child to full term, and give birth. Than she is the one that made the decision to become a mother. It was told that he did not wear a condom, but what about the women, she could have been taking a birth control of her own as well. Especially, IF SHE KNEW THAT HE DID NOT WANT CHILDREN!!! I feel for the guy, he was up front with her, and did not want the responsibility of fatherhood. Since she was not on the show, there are questions that remain a mystery. I am on this guy's side. I hope he wins. Men need more rights!! Especially to protect against snakes in the grass, that just want to get the guy in this web of thier emotional behaviours.

Frankly I'm quite concerned by the number of women who state Matt's responsibility as being financial, as in "I hope he has to pay child support until this girl is eighteen".

Nobody seems to mention emotional support for the baby. It's sad when a father's singular role in the family is to provide cash.

Perhaps if the custodial parents had to account for the way child support money is spent, there would be less emphasis on it.

Just observations...

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txchick25

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July 6, 2006, 3:22 pm PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: amethystic

I wonder how nice it would be if cancer patients could say.. "Gee.. you know what.. now that I think of it.. I don't WANT cancer" , and it would go away?

What about people with roaches in their houses.. they don't want them.. yet .. there they are..

And how about all those bug bites we get when we go outdoors.. I don't want them.. do you?? Hey.. maybe if we can all be delusional.. you know.. collectively.. maybe.. just maybe.. all the scary realities will just.. go away.

Well, that would sure be nice ... Although, you can't CHOOSE to have cancer or not. You choose how to take care of it. You can't choose if your house will/will not have roaches. But you can CHOOSE how you control the problem and/or prevent it from happening again. You CAN however, CHOOSE to not have a child. It's a one worded solution. Abstinence.

Terrible analogies.

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turik6

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July 6, 2006, 3:23 pm PDT

"hurrumph"

Quote From: nikeydees

Maybe its better that this poor child has no dad rather than a guy like this for her father. He complains about child support but on the other hand will pay for lawyers to go to court to deem him irresponsible for a child that he helped create.

LOL you have a point there.

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clubmeder

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July 6, 2006, 3:24 pm PDT

Matt and the unwanted Baby

Thank goodness I am not the only woman who feels that the baby's mother had options and should either use them or raise the child on her own.

Matt was forthright and honest about his not wanting a child at this time. The mother was as honest as she could be, thinking that she could not biologically have a child. SHE should take the brunt of the responsibility for having a child since: a) its her body and SHE also had unprotected sex and b) I can't believe that even with birth control AND her medical condition she could still have a child. One thing or the other did not work but ultimately, it is up to HER, NOT him to ensure that she not get pregnant. If she wanted the child, it's up to her to take responsibility for her upkeep and the costs, not him!

I agree with Matt - he has had no choice in this matter and should not be forced to provide for the baby!

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momofw3

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July 6, 2006, 3:24 pm PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: mind33

Give me a break. The woman "can't conceive" and she's on the pill, which is the most effective form of birth control there is, but ooops, she gets pregnant? I don't think so!!! She deliberately deceived this guy, period. I'm totally on his side (and I'm a woman).

This happened to a friend in college. She told him she was on the pill, and pretty much acknowledged later that she lied. He, quite rightly, told her to shove it and because of a paternity suit, couldn't go back to his home state for years. The (insert B word here) even had the balls to call him the night the baby was born.

As for physical inability to conceive and the pill representing "unprotected sex" -- what universe are you living in? Like a condom is an effective birth control device? Don't think so...look at the stats. Yeah, it's useful in preventing STDs, but that's not the issue here.

The man is clearly in the right here. If he doesn't want a relationship with his child, that's his right. And he certainly shouldn't have to pay child support. If the (insert B word here) wants to pull a stunt like this, let her pay for it.

I was told I would never have a child and was pregnant a few months ago. Lost the baby to miscarriage. You have no idea if she lied. Bottom line is he is responsible. Insert B word here!

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fuzzytam

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July 6, 2006, 3:25 pm PDT

Dead Beat!

She did not pin him down and force sex on him. He has no right to disclaim this child and he must stand up and take responsibility for his child. He made the choice not to wear protection so why should he have the choice to not take responsibilty for his child? He is a copout and is trying to justify being a dead beat dad. This is not right and if he wins in court, whoever is responsible for that is throwing all the responsibility on the mother and justifying this man's lack of morals, contribution and responsiblities which everyone else must partake in society and in the eyes of the law. What makes him so damn special?

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sk8erchic1

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July 6, 2006, 3:26 pm PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: motoole

I watched the show today and was very interested in the young man who decided to fight for his rights. I have to agree with him. He was given no choice. 14 years ago I too was involved in an irresponsible relationship and my son was conceived. 14 years later he has never heard from his father. His father held him one time, when he was six weeks old and walked out of his life forever. I raised him alone until he was eight and now he has a wonderful and loving "dad" in his life. I truly in my heart feel that even though there were times when I had to choose between diapers and milk or food for myself, we were better off alone than having to deal with a father who resented him. We survived it and we are fine. He understands that his father was not ready to be a dad and that it was my choice to keep him. He knows he was loved from day one, at least by one parent, and that it had nothing to do with him that this father chose to walk away. He understands that his father just wasn't ready. I wasn't forced to be a mother, I chose it. Even Dr. Phil told the woman whose husband wanted her to have a fifth child not to do it if she wasn't sure she wanted to because she may feel resentful. There is no doubt in my mind that my son's father would have been resentful if I had forced fatherhood or child support on him. My son grew up knowing he was loved, he not grow up with someone who resented him. It was better for my child to be without someone who didn't love him. Fatherhood should not be forced. Accidents happen. You can't force someone to love someone else. The best interests of the child really are for them to be loved. motoole

nobody said that he had to be a father, all he has to do is be a man take respnosibility for his actions and pay child support for this baby he helped bring into the world

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