Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

My brother has been going through a heartbreaking child custody battle for the past four years.  He is by no means a perfect saint but his actions have been honorable throughout this case.  It all started 5 years ago when he had a short relationship with a girl and they ended up going their separate ways.  They live in a small town in Nebraska and he soon found out that she was pregnant.  He immediately called her to confirm that she was pregnant.  She adamantly denied that she was pregnant.  A couple more months went by and again he heard that she was definitely pregnant, so he called her again to see if it was his child.  She admitted to being pregnant this time but said there was no way it could be his child.  Months went by and he gets another call from someone who said that there was an ad in the local paper about a child that was going to be up for adoption.  If any man thought this was their baby they only had a certain amount of time to claim paternity.  My brother immediately called and had a test performed only to find out that it was his child.  He filed for custody of the child and that is when the mother decided to revoke the adoption process and fight for full custody of the child.  They had video of her picking up the baby from daycare and not strapping him in the car seat, video of her at drug parties, witnesses stating that she had smoked marijuana while she was pregnant with him, she also had been arrested 1 week before the trial for bad checks, and still after all this she was awarded primary custody of my nephew.  After this trial she continually let my brother have much more time than the court ordered with his son.  She had many excuses the most appalling one being the drive to my brothers house 20 miles away was too boring so they could just keep him a couple more days.  Also almost 1 year to the day she had another son which she once again hid from the father and gave up for adoption.  We also found out that she had at least 1 abortion and has one other child.  She is now married to a man who is being investigated for child abuse on his kids and possibly my brothers son.  Of coarse those cases are hard to prove.  My brother is now taking her back to court but it is not looking like this small town judge is going to grant him primary custody.  He in no way wants to take away all contact from the mother and believes that his son still needs her in his life. 

     My brother has a very stable home with a loving wife who treats his son like her own.  There are good dads out there getting the raw end of the deal in child custody cases.  Where does he go from here? 

Some of what you stated I agree with. However; a man should also be given a window of opportunity to opt out of the pregnancy just as a woman has the same window to get an abortion. You see, I got someone pregnant 15 yrs ago and I received that dreaded phone call early one morning stating that this woman was 8 1/2 months pregnant and she was sure that it was mine. So tell me what happen to my choices? We then ended up in court along with 2 other defendants. Because she did not know who the father was and I was failed to be served the proper court papers 2 the wrong address. So needless to say the other defendants were dropped from the case and I was deemed to be the father for not appearing in court. After 2 appeals and countless attempts to have a DNA test performed had been denied. I am still paying child support that is continuing to inflate every 3 years due to the fact that the child's mother never did anything with her life. My wife and I finally convince this woman and my daughter(14 years old now) to have a legal DNA test performed. Only because my daughter wanted to meet me and had to have my signature in order to get a passport. Now, what sort of father can I be to her since her mother had kept her from me, moved out of sate without telling me, and there had been no contact up until now. And then BAM! the next think I know I am now paying 450.00 per plane ticket to fly her out from Arizona to be with me, my wife and our daughter. She has now flown out here 3 times, and it is even harder to connect with her that I had originally anticipated. She does not talk much and when she does it is about sex. So I suppose that since all my rights as a human being, not a man, had been taken away and kept away for the past 15 years. That now I guess I should accept her as a friend and not as a daughter. And finally, my wife and I are sick of the " my mom doesn't have any money". I pay the state maxium for 1 child in the state of Fla. and I carry the best medical and dental plan that my hospital provides which cost me about 156.00 every 2 weeks and she gets 360.00 every 2 weeks also.  So yes I am a little bitter about this whole subject because if I had been given the chance to take a DNA test 14 years ago then my relationship with my daughter would be a lot different and who knows she might even be living with me and my family by now.

Look, you had to of had a CLUE, when you laid, down with her...that HEY SHE COULD GET PREGNANT. I was told I could never get pregnant...I've tried evrything but the shot & IUD. Guess what, every time I had sex...I GOT PREGNANT.  Furthermore, my husbands father, told all 7 of his male children (No girls) ,"DON'T SLEEP WITH A WOMEN, UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU WOULD MARRY HER."

And lets face it, yes SOME men should have rights...But, keep in mind, for centuries MEN have found ways not to pay child support. Under the table jobs, switching different places continually, lieing to the Judges and so on and so forth...knowing full well, thats their child, showed up for the birth, insisted the children had their last name. Come on men, haven't single MOM's paid a big enough price, after all they had temporary brain loss, they slept with an irresponsible man, and have to work, feed, clothe, pay bills, rent and all BY THEMSELVES...all because you want the iceing and not the whole cake....You complain women are not up front....How about...."I want to sleep with you...however, I don't want any children..." She slept with you for more than whats down your pants....women feel a conection and want more than just sex...

Look, you had to of had a CLUE, when you laid, down with her...that HEY SHE COULD GET PREGNANT. I was told I could never get pregnant...I've tried evrything but the shot & IUD. Guess what, every time I had sex...I GOT PREGNANT.  Furthermore, my husbands father, told all 7 of his male children (No girls) ,"DON'T SLEEP WITH A WOMEN, UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU WOULD MARRY HER."

And lets face it, yes SOME men should have rights...But, keep in mind, for centuries MEN have found ways not to pay child support. Under the table jobs, switching different places continually, lieing to the Judges and so on and so forth...knowing full well, thats their child, showed up for the birth, insisted the children had their last name. Come on men, haven't single MOM's paid a big enough price, after all they had temporary brain loss, they slept with an irresponsible man, and have to work, feed, clothe, pay bills, rent and all BY THEMSELVES...all because you want the iceing and not the whole cake....You complain women are not up front....How about...."I want to sleep with you...however, I don't want any children..." She slept with you for more than whats down your pants....women feel a conection and want more than just sex...

Look, you had to of had a CLUE, when you laid, down with her...that HEY SHE COULD GET PREGNANT. I was told I could never get pregnant...I've tried evrything but the shot & IUD. Guess what, every time I had sex...I GOT PREGNANT.  Furthermore, my husbands father, told all 7 of his male children (No girls) ,"DON'T SLEEP WITH A WOMEN, UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU WOULD MARRY HER."

And lets face it, yes SOME men should have rights...But, keep in mind, for centuries MEN have found ways not to pay child support. Under the table jobs, switching different places continually, lieing to the Judges and so on and so forth...knowing full well, thats their child, showed up for the birth, insisted the children had their last name. Come on men, haven't single MOM's paid a big enough price, after all they had temporary brain loss, they slept with an irresponsible man, and have to work, feed, clothe, pay bills, rent and all BY THEMSELVES...all because you want the iceing and not the whole cake....You complain women are not up front....How about...."I want to sleep with you...however, I don't want any children..." She slept with you for more than whats down your pants....women feel a conection and want more than just sex...

the thing that bothers me the most is that whenever a woman gets pregnant they automatically blame the man where is the womans responsibillitiesin all of it the woman has the right to abortion,adoption,what happens when the woman has a child doesnt tell thefather until years later how is it fair the first thing out of theyre mouth is child support