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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2006 Show Boards.


 
tripleh
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April 16, 2006, 12:11 pm PDT

Fatherhood.... not even up for debate

Men... don't want to be a father? It doesn't surprise me, I know that. Now about an argument about a foolish debate about should men avoid fatherhood. If they want to do that, then don't get involved with someone. There is no such thing as men avoiding fatherhood, well... I should say they could probably do that but when that child grows up, they will hunt the father down like he was a moose, that's if he don't make any kind of contact to their kid.
 
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jettav
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April 17, 2006, 10:25 pm PDT

Don't want to be a father...............................

then don't have sex and take chances or go get an operation!
 
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bwisdom
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April 18, 2006, 1:27 am PDT

Why should men NOT have a choice?

Why do women get all of the chocies? Yes we ALL know what causes pregnacy and we all know how to prevent it. But WHY IN THE WORLD DO WOMEN GET ALL THE CHOCIES? Yeah, I know... It's your body. Well it's his life also. And no it's not the baby's fault, it's the man and woman's fault. Yet the woman has a choice to have or not have the baby. (Either way the child will be effected. By not having a father or having one who dosen't want him/her.) What if we start thinking about the tables being turned? What if the man wants the baby but the woman wants to have an abortion? What then? If women have choices, men should have choices. We as women want to be equals. We have faught for so long, and are still fighting, for our rights to be considered equals. Yet, we want to have the rules one way when it's in our favor and the other way when it's not??!! We can't have it both ways. We either consider the child a child and treat this child as if it were out of the womb OR we decide it's a choice and it's not a child until post-womb. We can't have both. We can't be selfish just because it's our bodies, just because we're the womb. Either it's a choice or it's not! After that is decided, then if it's a choice the man should have his choice, if it's not a choice and it's a child, then a father he should be able to refuse or use his parential rights! Brandy W, KS
 
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jettav
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April 18, 2006, 9:19 am PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: bwisdom

Why do women get all of the chocies? Yes we ALL know what causes pregnacy and we all know how to prevent it. But WHY IN THE WORLD DO WOMEN GET ALL THE CHOCIES? Yeah, I know... It's your body. Well it's his life also. And no it's not the baby's fault, it's the man and woman's fault. Yet the woman has a choice to have or not have the baby. (Either way the child will be effected. By not having a father or having one who dosen't want him/her.) What if we start thinking about the tables being turned? What if the man wants the baby but the woman wants to have an abortion? What then? If women have choices, men should have choices. We as women want to be equals. We have faught for so long, and are still fighting, for our rights to be considered equals. Yet, we want to have the rules one way when it's in our favor and the other way when it's not??!! We can't have it both ways. We either consider the child a child and treat this child as if it were out of the womb OR we decide it's a choice and it's not a child until post-womb. We can't have both. We can't be selfish just because it's our bodies, just because we're the womb. Either it's a choice or it's not! After that is decided, then if it's a choice the man should have his choice, if it's not a choice and it's a child, then a father he should be able to refuse or use his parential rights! Brandy W, KS
Actually I think both women and men are selfish when they willing and ready to have the pleasure of sex and then when a child comes into the picture, they decide that the child is a mistake and not worth coming into the world. What I think about men is also what I think about women, if you don't want a baby then don't have sex and take chances or go get your self to the doctor and get fixed. I think if you are gonna lie down and have sex then you should be woman and man enough to take care of the responsibilities of the outcome..yes, sex is pleasureable and should be as I believe that it was created to be great but also for a husband and wife to enjoy one another as they have become one and sex was also created to create new life, it all goes hand in hand and if people, men and women would start respecting sex for what it was meant to be, then there wouldn't be these unwanted babies and the babies would grow up to be loved, respected and given a positive chance in the world. Children should not be conceived out of greed and out of control hormones, but out of love and they should and have the right to be wanted................................
 
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jai149

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April 19, 2006, 10:36 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I have just recently just found out that I am pregnant with my third child.  My husband and I had discussed the possibility of a third but had said we'd talk about it "later".  My husband knew that I wasnt on any form of contraception, but was happy for us to have sex whenever he wanted to.  Now that I am pregnant he is saying that it is my fault and that this baby is going to be my responability in full.  Not to ask him to do a thing.  Since we had our two gorgeous kids his life hasnt changed a bit.  I do all the nappy changing, feeding, bathing - the list is endless.  He hasnt even gotten up once during the night and our kids are 3 and 2.  He still gets to go out with his friends, socialises and I am always left at home.  I dont mind this, but is it too much to ask for the occasionally hand.  I have an ultrasound next week and he wont even come to it with me.  it really hurts me that he is rejecting this child.  i have told him to get used to the idea or he knows where the door is.  I love my husband very much, but to me his behavior is a deal breaker.  Am I right in my thinking?  What I should I be doing to make this work out for the best?  And to make it easier for my other two children - My 3 year old is already picking up on what his father is saying and keeps telling me he doesnt want  a baby.  I just know what to do. 
 
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lillskr

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April 20, 2006, 10:27 am PDT

Baby wars

Quote From: bwisdom

Why do women get all of the chocies? Yes we ALL know what causes pregnacy and we all know how to prevent it. But WHY IN THE WORLD DO WOMEN GET ALL THE CHOCIES? Yeah, I know... It's your body. Well it's his life also. And no it's not the baby's fault, it's the man and woman's fault. Yet the woman has a choice to have or not have the baby. (Either way the child will be effected. By not having a father or having one who dosen't want him/her.) What if we start thinking about the tables being turned? What if the man wants the baby but the woman wants to have an abortion? What then? If women have choices, men should have choices. We as women want to be equals. We have faught for so long, and are still fighting, for our rights to be considered equals. Yet, we want to have the rules one way when it's in our favor and the other way when it's not??!! We can't have it both ways. We either consider the child a child and treat this child as if it were out of the womb OR we decide it's a choice and it's not a child until post-womb. We can't have both. We can't be selfish just because it's our bodies, just because we're the womb. Either it's a choice or it's not! After that is decided, then if it's a choice the man should have his choice, if it's not a choice and it's a child, then a father he should be able to refuse or use his parential rights! Brandy W, KS

While I think men should have their responsibility too, I agree with what you're saying.  Women have fought long and hard to have a choice on whether or not to have the child they are carrying ( Whether it's abortion or adoption- although I think adoption is a better choice so it's gives the kid a chance).  People say "Then he shouldn't have sex with the woman".  Sex is a two way street (Unless it's rape).   

Please, no hate replies. I'm not making a fight, just an opinion.  Men should live up to their responsibilities as women (Or give their baby a good home or whatever's right for the situation), but the whole thing is so one sided.   

Yes, I'm a woman.   

   
 
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stupormom

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April 20, 2006, 11:03 am PDT

Because motherhood and fatherhood just aren't equal..

Women get the lion's share of the choices in this issue because they get the lion's share of the concequences.  The day that a man can carry, deliver, and nurse the child, they can have all the choices they please!  
 
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jsmom4
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April 20, 2006, 12:23 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: jai149

I have just recently just found out that I am pregnant with my third child.  My husband and I had discussed the possibility of a third but had said we'd talk about it "later".  My husband knew that I wasnt on any form of contraception, but was happy for us to have sex whenever he wanted to.  Now that I am pregnant he is saying that it is my fault and that this baby is going to be my responability in full.  Not to ask him to do a thing.  Since we had our two gorgeous kids his life hasnt changed a bit.  I do all the nappy changing, feeding, bathing - the list is endless.  He hasnt even gotten up once during the night and our kids are 3 and 2.  He still gets to go out with his friends, socialises and I am always left at home.  I dont mind this, but is it too much to ask for the occasionally hand.  I have an ultrasound next week and he wont even come to it with me.  it really hurts me that he is rejecting this child.  i have told him to get used to the idea or he knows where the door is.  I love my husband very much, but to me his behavior is a deal breaker.  Am I right in my thinking?  What I should I be doing to make this work out for the best?  And to make it easier for my other two children - My 3 year old is already picking up on what his father is saying and keeps telling me he doesnt want  a baby.  I just know what to do. 
I just wanted to start out and tell you that it's sounds like you are a great mom. You need to find out what is up with your husbands feelings.Maybe counseling would help. How long have you been married. This sounds alot how my first marriage was.
 
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alleyg
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April 20, 2006, 12:58 pm PDT

WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

Sex is fun, and sex makes babies. If you are really opposed to having children, then you should not be having sex.   

   

Yes, women have alot of power. We put out or not. We abort or not. I understand how that can seem terribly unfair. But here's the flip side. We carry the baby. We loose bone and blood for them We sit up at night while they cry. We take lesser jobs so we can spend time with them.   

   

Men do none of these things. I have been in a situation where I was on the pill and got pregnant anyhow. I chose to keep my son, how could i not, the creator himself chose me to raise him. I was young and poor and had to take state health insurance (medicaid).   

   

To get the medicaide,  I had to tell who the father was, even though he didn't want anything to do with us. I know for a fact that he has a support order against him that he isn't paying.   

   

BUT THAT ISN"T THE POINT  

   

The point is what is best for the baby. I have a child, that fact alters my life permanetly, If the guy has to pay a little child support, then so be it. But if he was so opposed to being a father, he should have gotten himself fixed. Its a quick and easy operation done in an out patient setting.  
 
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lillskr

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April 20, 2006, 2:23 pm PDT

Baby wars

Quote From: stupormom

Women get the lion's share of the choices in this issue because they get the lion's share of the concequences.  The day that a man can carry, deliver, and nurse the child, they can have all the choices they please!  

(Looks at how many men have given birth and nursed throughout the years, looks at anatomy picture for man's uterus).  I don't think that' s even possible.  Sorry, had to say that   :)  Being funny   :D  

  

  
 
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