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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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upset
April 21, 2006, 1:19 pm PDT

Always about the mother

Having been a single mother of 2 I can see the reasons for women requesting support when one is taking care of a child by themselves.  But I also think it is unfair for vindictive women to want more than money from the man, they also want to get even.  The courts and case workers only see the women as the victim and man as the "dead beat dad."  There should be some changes in laws where the case workers can do a more thorough investigation when women request support.
 
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happy
April 21, 2006, 1:19 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: lillskr

(Looks at how many men have given birth and nursed throughout the years, looks at anatomy picture for man's uterus).  I don't think that' s even possible.  Sorry, had to say that   :)  Being funny   :D  

  

  

speaking of lions, is it not the lioness' responsibility to take care of the cubs?!!
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:19 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I'm reading over and over, "he should take responsibility for his actions" and so on.   

  

Let's see what his responsibilities are. He should give her sole custody, he should give her money weekly for the next eighteen years and pay the taxes on what is essentially her income, he should have limited access to his child, he should have a limited ability to affect what goes on in his childs life. He should be happy with every other weekend and how great that is for everyone. He should bend over and take it.  

  

I don't blame this guy at all. No matter what you assume about him or his intentions, what is clear is that he understands what the law has in store for him and thinks it's a bunch of crap and I do too.  

  

I would like to add that I don't think that this sort of thing should go for those that are married.  

  

I   

 
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April 21, 2006, 1:20 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: seirith

 A child is not a miracle to everyone. What about a child free couple, should they  never have sex because they don't want a child?

I am getting married, we have been together for 8 years, we don't want children.  I am not going to never have sex with my fiance becuase we don't want children.
I just think that if you're going to have sex, be smart about it if you don't want to have a child.
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:20 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: ckb1962

I am a father of three and I have no sympathy for that immature young man who believes he was "forced" into fatherhood.   If he doesn't want children, then he needs to learn to keep it in his pants because that is the only guaranteed way not to cause a pregnancy.  Grow up already and take responsibility for your daughter - she is the one suffering for your infantile behavior!
In reading all these Finally a man with brains.....
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:20 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: seirith

As a child free women I can't believe so many people have the reply if you don't want a child don't have sex. That is just insane. Sex is not all about babies. Sex is about being initmate with someone you love and care about. I use protection but it can fail, shoud I never have sex because I don't want a child? Get "fixed" as come people call it. I'd love to but who would "fix" a 22 year old female? No one.  What doctor would give me a tubal? None.

A women has every right to give the child up but a man has to pay. He needs the right to not to be a father just as she had the choice NOT to be a mother. She had her choice, now he should get his.


I do not agree with you at all. Right as they are fighting to be able to decide that a man can decide to abort a baby, they are fighting even harder to make it so that a women can not even abort a baby. Let me ask you a question. Would you kill a newborn baby? I don't know you but I am guessing that the answer is a big fat no. That would be murder right? Well, a baby inside of a mother is just as alive as that little newborn that you see with his mommy and daddy at the grocery store. I know, I have a baby. And every time I went to the doctor while I was pregnant I saw that little baby on the monitor moving and breathing. I heard it's heartbeat. This country is trying to get rid of the women's right to just kill an Innocent little baby, why would you support the man's choice to kill it too?
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:20 pm PDT

The mother has the say

My girlfriend wanted one child. Her husband talked her into having three. Then he ran off with a 19-year old and disappeared. He never paid child support and she wound up on welfare. Fathers can leave children at any time; mothers can't. They should make the decision about how many to have.
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:21 pm PDT

Disagree

Quote From: bevens74

I completely agree....She should raise the child on her own. She is the one who made the choice to keep the baby, she should be the sole provider for it. Leave the men alone that dont want to be fathers.
Yes but they both decided to have sex.....he is a grown man and should know that birth control is not 100% reliable and neither is the word of the woman you chose to sleep with.  Life happens and as an adult they're responsible for their actions.  Just because she was told once that she can't get pregnant doesn't mean it is written in stone.  Just because he said "I don't want to be Dad yet" doesn't mean he can have unprotected sex and then skip out on the child.  They are adults who are old enough to care for a child planned or unplanned.  It's not like they are teenagers who are too young to support and raise another human being.  He can't just say I don't really feel like being Dad yet....so I don't think I will.  Get real!  He chose to have unprotected sex too, so he is responsible for this childs welfare just like the Mom and she is doing just that!  This is a new life we are talking about....a baby is a blessing and he should be only too grateful to have this chance to be Dad.  How will this child feel when she grows up knowing her Dad isn't apart of her life because he didn't feel like being a father just yet...but that when he is ready he'll be a great Dad to those children...the children he wants.  If two people have an unplanned child and they are old enough and financially stable enough to care for him or her....stepping out of this childs life because they don't want to be a parent yet is selfish and cruel beyond words....that child will feel the effects of that decision for the rest of his or her life..............How can you disagree with what I have just said???
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:21 pm PDT

bump

Quote From: sotrue

I know I'm about to get a lot of negative feedback for my ultra conservative views, especially on the subject of family. In any event, here is my opinion.  

As a woman who had a child, unmarried, and at the age of 20, I now have a strong understanding and firm belief in the "traditional" and biblical views on marriage and family. When we go outside of that plan that God had intended for our society, we begin to run into problems. I strongly believe there is a reason that sex is meant for a husband and a wife. Sex requires a great deal of responsibility and maturity, as well as the deep rooted connection that marriage creates. When a casual sexual encounter produces something as extraordinary as a human life, we are only asking for trouble. Whether it be the man not wanting anything to do with the child, or the woman making the decision to do away with her responsibility by having an abortion. In my opinion, the real issue here is why should ANYONE have the right to chose what happens to a life AFTER it has already been created? If the "freedom to choose" gives one such a feeling of liberty, than why not use that freedom of choice to prevent the life from coming into being to begin with. Why not choose to use the proper precautions if you aren't ready for parenthood? The real victims here are the children, who only want to feel that they have a mom and a dad who love them, and always wanted and wished to have them in their lives. 

 
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confused
April 21, 2006, 1:21 pm PDT

How stupid can you be!!!!!

Matt, I'm sorry, but you are a complete idiot! How can you not look at that beautiful baby and thank God for the opportunity to be an awesome dad? I didn't want kids either until I had one, but my life is so rich and full because I chose to have my daughter and not give her away. You are a fool and you will pay for it one day. Everything comes full circle, my friend, I know God will deal justly with you. He is a righteous judge.  Oh, by the way... STOP HAVING SEX WITH PEOPLE BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED AND USE COMMON SENSE!!!!!
 
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