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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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cara123

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

your wrong!

Quote From: di_jos2003

She said it all!

I don't think their should be a choice, you make a baby you take responsiblity for it, it takes two to have one, it takes two to be responsible for it, not aborting it, end of story

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drayannaa

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

Driveing a car

If you say "I don't know if I'm ready for a car reck" Then you should not get behind the wheel.

We all know that if you get into a car reck then you are going to have to pay one way or the other. Some pay because no insurance, some pay in higher premiems at no fault to them. But the real problem is that we all pay in higher insurance charges.

If you say "I don't want a baby" Then don't have sex

We all know that if you get pregnant your going to pay one way or the other. The difference is that the baby can be an awarding gift to your life instead of a beat up car. But when you don't take responsibility then we all pay not just by money but society. We become weaker and another child learns to run from responsibility making excuses. We need more men and woman who stand up than those that run.

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spvilla

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

Matt's Baby War

I cannot believe how Matt is handling this situation. I remember one of my high school teachers telling us students that every time that you have sex you are taking the chance of having a baby, and I believe this to be the honest truth. After two years of dating my husband and being on birth control for a year and a half we became pregnant, and there were a lot of decisions that had to be made. We were both still in college working part-time jobs, but we made scarifices and he joined the Air Force and I am continuing with my education online. Things do not always happen the way that we expect them to at times but you have to deal with them and make them work. Even if Matt's ex-girlfriend thought that she was unable to get pregnant he should have still taken precautions to protect himself. I think that he is just trying to get himself out of something that he was not ready for. I think that it just goes back to what my teacher told us...every time that you have sex you are taking a chance to having a baby. It's just that simple. Matt needs to take responsibility for his actions.

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adysin

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

Grow up, Matt

Before you have a sexual relationship you need to take responsibility for the outcome. Matt is one of the most selfish people imaginable. Stay celibate if you cannot act like an adult.

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cjm102156

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

Yeah, right, women have all the choices.

Quote From: di_jos2003

She said it all!

I don't know how many dates I've been on where I spent all night explaining why I didn't want to have sex, and ended up giving in at the end of the night, because he wouldn't leave me alone. I woke up in my forties and realized I felt like a rape victim. Then, they couldn't understand why I never wanted to see them again.

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lvyrkds

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April 21, 2006, 1:50 pm PDT

Remember the Innocent Involved...Kids

I found myself talking back to the tv screen on today's show when I saw Matt with Dr. Phil. I am not one to write on message boards...but....here are my thoughts...10 yrs ago I was a single mom and dating someone. I had a 4 yr old when we met and I was asked if I wanted more kids BECAUSE...he couldn't have children, some medical reason was given and that his mom and grandmother knew about it. I answered to him that I was blessed with my child and was okay if I had no more children. Two weeks into our dating we had sex. Few weeks after, I felt pregnant. I wasn't with anyone else! When I told him I was pregnant he told me I had a "choice". "It" or "him". Without hesitation I showed him the door. Not to hear from him until our son was 2 days old. He called and asked to see the baby. I allowed him to come over because I needed to know what his plans were as a father. I told him he had a choice, to be a father or walk away. I would not allow him to come around at his convienence. When he made the choice to be a father to our son, I talked to him about his responsibility and that I was not going to live in a courthouse when we were both grown adults. Ten years later we remain friends and decide together what is best for our son, together. We may not always agree, but, we come to a mutual decision. I know our son is a happy kid because he has both parents involved in his life. His dad and I live in different states and both are happily married and we all are friends and get along. I feel very blessed with how the last 10 years have gone even though it was a rough start. Last summer, our son came to me and asked to move in with his dad. His dad and I discussed it with each other and our son. As a mother it will always be the toughest choice I have had to make. But, for our son, I agreed that he has a right to the opportunity to know his dad, stepmom and new baby brother(smile). I see him for the summers and holidays and talk to him 5 days a week. Remember the innocent children when you begin a battle over them. Too often they get hurt the most.

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dawnthree

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April 21, 2006, 1:51 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I am absolutely disgusted with Matt and his whole attitude about this beautiful baby girl. He made the choice to have unprotected sex with his ex-girlfriend and whether he likes it or not he now has a child because of this act. My husband and I wouldn't know what to do with our lives if we didn't have our 3 children in our lives. I have an aunt that was told that she couldn't get pregnant and she had unprotected sex with her partner and now she has a beautiful baby girl who'll be a year in May. You either relinquinsh all of your parental rights or you get into this child's life and be a influence in her life. Matt, if you don't want to be a parent then just give up your parental rights and be done with it and stop being so darn selfish. This baby deserves more than what she is getting.

dawn in alberta canada

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mquette

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April 21, 2006, 1:51 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: tripleh

Men... don't want to be a father? It doesn't surprise me, I know that. Now about an argument about a foolish debate about should men avoid fatherhood. If they want to do that, then don't get involved with someone. There is no such thing as men avoiding fatherhood, well... I should say they could probably do that but when that child grows up, they will hunt the father down like he was a moose, that's if he don't make any kind of contact to their kid.

I think most everyone has gotten off the path here. Why is everyone so pissed about the man not wanting to be a father. We, as women, should be pissed at the childish game that this "mother" has played. It is so like us women to trick people into getting what we want. We use sex to get what we want and none of us can deny it! She flat out told this guy that she COULD NOT have children. What should he have done? Contacted her Gyno to get a written statement proving so? No, he should have trusted her..he had no reason not to. Why did she get off the pill? I truely believe that women who trap men into becoming fathers, should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. They should have their babies taken from them. If a women is going to be that evil, why should she be allowed to raise the child? Who cares if the man wants to be around or not....just the mere fact that women do this, in the first place, is absolutely disgusting. I, as a mother, cannot wait until our scientists, whether in the US or France, come out with a birthcontrol for men....this will solve the entire issue of women trapping men!

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jbeer69

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April 21, 2006, 1:51 pm PDT

choices

Quote From: elliscr

I cannot believe why this guy just doesn't sign his rights over instead of taking it to court. Nine years ago I had a baby out of wedlock, and I couldn't imagine having to go through what this girl is going through. THis story make me so upset.

Their is so many people who want so badly to have a baby and this guy was lucky enough to be blessed with a beauitful child yet doesn't want to be disturbed having to pay child support. I think if I was to come face to face with this guy I would have to slap him.

If this guy thinks he is not responsible for his 8 month old daughter, and that he doesn't have the same choices as the mother, who will be responsible, the tax payers? I'm very sure we didn't have the choice to have sex with the baby's mother, if so we would have insisted he wear a condom. Get real. When you make the CHOICE to be intimate, ready or not you MIGHT become a parent. He should talk to someone who is unable to have a baby.

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geo5char

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April 21, 2006, 1:51 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: kimandben

Watching the show today made me extremely angry because I am dealing with a person like your first guest in myself and my 3 year old sons life. I myself find it hard to understand how you can take part in the creation of a child and simply turn your back and walk away. At this point the state is still taking child support from him but it is my goal to be financialy independent from him in the future. I believe it will be a better situation when his negative attitude and influence is not in our lives.

Go girl!!!

I raised two daughters on my own for twelve years. Never needed one red cent from their father. I'm proud of that fact. Oh and my girls never went without either.

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