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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

Matt's baby

Hi Matt and congratulations.  It takes one female egg and one of your sperm to create.  Your offspring is very pretty.  Whether you agree or not, you are the father and you had sex the fun way and seem to be smart enough to know what the results produce.  Women take the hit to their bodies, and usually the biggest  hit on expenses even with your court-ordered "help."  The woman does, unfortunately, have the right to her body.  I am totally against abortion but a man certainly cannot dictate whether the mother should kill her unborn baby.  He had his choice during sex and she has her choice within the guidelines of the state she resides in.  You are a fool to think you can win this argument.  Use protection.  Why do you guys think you can have sex withourt marriage?  I'm old-fashioned and have five daughters.  I think you should be down on your knees and courting the woman you want to have sex with and then procreate children the right way.  Grow up Matt and pay the mother of your beautiful child.
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

Choices

I am a woman all about choices. Women have the choice to abort, abondon (here in Iowa, we have a "baby safe haven" where you can anonymously  DROP your baby at a hospital if you don't want him) or adoption. Why don't men have choices? Because THEY don't carry the baby for 9 months? Because THEY don't give birth to the baby? Well, I guess so, but it's not fair to men. I do agree that if the man is completly against having a baby, they should be more responsible like wearing a condom or just NOT having sex. But when it does happen and the woman becomes pregnant, WHAT CHOICE DOES A MAN HAVE?? He has none. Not fair. Men and women have one night stands ALL THE TIME! It's life. Face it. A lot of women are devious, and they  "trap" men by becoming pregnant. It's wrong, yes, I don't agree with it, but it's TRUE. Not one of you can deny it.
 

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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

Choice 4 men... wow...

It's encouraging to know this issue is finally being addressed. It is about time! 

I agree men too should be entitled to opting out of parenthood. 

  

It's really not fair to offer it to women and not men. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

Matt feels his right to spend his $$s is more important then a child's life

Matt is willing kill his child to ensure he gets to spend $$ he earns the way he wants to.  People are supporting this???

  

 

 

  

 

If Matt had his way his ex-girlfriend would have gotten an abortion.  This would have saved him the expense of paying child support.  I would like to know what Matt would do with this money that is so much more important then the life of his child.  My imagination is apparently limited that I can't think of what that might be.  Can one of you enlightened supporters fill me in? Or are we suggesting killing a child on the basis of principle? 

  

 

  

 

Let’s put this in another context:

  

 

Give Matt a bill for the next 17 years of child support, give him a gun and sit this child in front of him, give him the choice to pay the bill on installments or kill the little girl.  Which one do you think he would choice?

  

 

  

 

Post Conception no one really has any rights.  There are no good options.  We can debate the, her body his until the cows come home but in the end once there is a child we either kill it or pay for it.  It is that simple. 

  

 

  

 

Frankly I don’t think it is much of a right to have the option to kill a child I would rather walk in the men’s shoes on this one.

  

 

  

 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

He made his choice

Today's topic and first guest, Matt, really made me mad.  Matt was a prime example of foolishness and selfishness.  Matt made his choice when he decided to have sex.  He made this choice, each time he had sex.  Secondly, he made the choice when he decided not to wear a condom, every time.    

   

Matt doesn't really seem to be uneducated about the fact of how babies are conceived.  Therefore he had his chance and made his choice.  It frustrates me to no end to watch him sit there and say he didn't get a choice.    

   

Next I want to make a comment about the man who said that the "Roe vs Wade" did not have a rippling effect on the nation.  To him I will say:  45 million babies have been aborted since the "Roe vs Wade" decison came down.  I am not saying it was the right or wrong decision; but to say it didn't have any effect is as dumb as saying Matt didn't have a choice.  No wonder they are on the same side.    

   

   

 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: casslee

Another note... If women are going to have all the choices when it comes to babies and giving birth, then we should also bear the entire responsibilty of not getting pregnant! We can't have our cake and eat it to! I am so sick and tired of women thinking that they should be payed just because they gave birth! Get real! Who do you think you are? It's almost like prostituting your child! Whatever happened to the joy of pregnancy and birth? Being happy to bring a child into the world shouldn't be the case only when you have the "ideal" circumstances. If you want a child and you let yourself get pregnant under false pretenses then deal with the consequences. It has become way to easy for women to trap men into cutting them a check every month.
You said it best!!!
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

The guy fighting for equal reproductive rights

I think the guy would have a better leg to stand on if he could stand up there and say that he did have a condom the whole time and it failed.  But, he was up there and he was saying he, in effect, played russian roulette.  He knew the possible consequenses for his actions.  I am a woman and I know there are women and men out there that have lied before about "not being able to get pregnant or get someone else pregnant".   I'm sure she wasn't the first nor the last.  He lost a little credibility with me on the fact of the not using a condom the whole time. I personally have 3 kids, the younger 2's father is a deadbead dad and if the arguement were this easily won (not having to use a condom to win this arguement) he wouldn't have to pay the back $40,000 he owe's me and another ex of his.  I am wondering why this guy just doesn't petition to sign off his parental rights instead of this big issue, I would think it would cost him less in the long run?  Maybe next time he will either use protection or abstain from sex until, in his words, he's ready to be the parent he wants to be.
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: rollcage

I'm a married man that was living with my wife before marriage and had a child. I didn't feel I was ready to be a father at first was scared and nervous. but I stayed around I chose to take the chance and I feel that its not my right to tell her that she has to do anything to her body. and I feel that the mind is part of the body and for me to say hey you have to give this kid up is violating her just as much as if she said I am giving the kid up you have no say is to me. I feel that if you take the chance you take the responsibility. I think more people and I do mean people not men or woman people need to take the responsibility of there actions and live with the consiquinses  

AMEN!!!!!    :)
 
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April 21, 2006, 1:57 pm PDT

men

Quote From: jeannetx

I am the mother of 4. This was something my husband and I agreed on. He does help me with the children when he can. He wanted more children but my body just couldnt handle it. So WE made the choice to stop at 4. I have been blessed with a very thaughtful husband and he has my happiness in mind at all times. Good luck to all women that have men that just dont understand your feelings.  

  

I think this man is not a man!! 

He was given a choice to have sex , the baby was created by this action. 

He needs to pay for this baby, wanting her or not. 

  

                          thanks paula 

 
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April 21, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

Let's get real.

The intended purpose of having sex in the first place is for reproduction.  So what if it feels good for the moment.  I tell my friends and other young people I know that before laying down with anyone to take a long look at them to see if you would like to be involved with them for the rest of their life.  Accidents happen.  Birth control is not 100%.  Nowadays babies should be the least your worries.  As far as I'm concerned, you're lucky if all you get out of it is a baby.  So the young man on the show today is turning his back on his biological child.....but guess what?  It wouldn't be so easy to turn his back on a sexually transmitted disease, would it?  Just like anything else in life...there are always consequences.  The first time a drug addict tries drugs, he doesn't think that he'll become a drug addict.  Sex makes babies...before having sex, know the consequences.  Don't want to be a father?  Don't have sex.  When you're ready for the consequences of having sex, then you're ready to have sex.     

   

As far as women's rights are concerned and today's technology I wouldn't be surprised if I see a case in the news where a man's sues the mother carring his baby (who does not want to have it) for the embryo to be implanted into a surigate.   

 
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