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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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April 21, 2006, 2:00 pm PDT

Baby Wars

Quote From: jerryp

Lucky?  laughable..... the response is more than silly it is laughable.  why does the dollar make it right?  I will pray for you  and Matt.
His Lawyer will cost him $700.00 a month
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:00 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: elvenwolf

Are you people insane or simply cruel.  Does the term "Crib Death" mean anything to you?  

  

I can understand the parents not wanting a child in bed with them, but a BABY?  

I had no problem with my kids.  1. When they were tiny (nb - 7 or 8 months) they were in their crib right beside my bed.  Gradually I moved each one out.  It took me a month or two.  I left their door open and the light in the hallway on.  They could hear me.  If they were very upset, I went to them.  

  

2. I would NOT let a baby cry for even one hour, let alone any longer than that.  AND I would never even think of letting a nursing/bottle baby alone in a room with the door closed.  My second born would stop breathing occasionally thoughout the night.  I would wake automatically and rub her back through the crib slits and she would start breathing again.  How could anyone do that if the baby was in another room with the door shut?  

  

3.  As for the pacifier fights I've witnessed...I just don't know what to say.  I gave my kids a pacifier and when I needed a few moments to warm up something for them or they were simply overtired, I would make sure they had it.  At 8 months each, my kids threw the pacifier across the room and refused to ever have it again.  I know, I was a working mom and I tried to give it back to them, no go.  

  

My kids are healthy and have kids of their own.  I have no complaints about their behavior, especially when I see what other familys go through.  

  

Honestly people, most animals know how to raise their offspring, but humans??????????  

  

As for listening to doctors, don't you have a mind of your own?  Use some common sense!  My doctor I listen to when I need medical advice.  When my doctor (unsolicited advice here) told me to bottle feed instead of nurse, I told him um hum,,,,yeah and then went home and nursed.  I honestly don't know how bottle feeding moms do it...stumbling around in the night, knocking into things and by the time the bottle is warm, the kid's asleep and the mom is awake.  It's soooo much easier nursing, just turn over and grab the kid.  My heart goes out to those moms who can't nurse. 

  

  

  

  

Thank goodness everyone is entitled to their opinion.  Are you right?  My opinion says no.  I've slept with both my babies from birth...my oldest is 3 and happily in his own bed and my newest is 4 months and I'm still sleeping with him.  I gradually moved my oldest son out of our bed when we were both ready at about 18 months and I DO NOT REGRET ONE NIGHT WITH HIM NOR WILL I WITH MY NEWBORN.  So all you holier than thou..."I don't think it's right to sleep with your baby" people can shove it where the sun don't shine!
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:00 pm PDT

Deadbeat Dad

 I cannot believe the nerve of Matt.  I agree he did not intend to be a father, but he did consent to having sex. If he was not ready for this responsibility he should have kept his pants on. There is no reason for him to act this way. He is a poor excuse for a man.    She is not asking him to be a father to his child, only to help her financially support his child. I don't think that is too much to ask.  What a loser!!!!!
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

A man's choice...

Men do have choices!  Men have the choice to wear a condom or not.  The choice should be "Use protection" or "Dont use protection" for the man and the woman.  We have a society that behaves in an  "Act now, think later"  attitude with alot of things that we do. Drinking, puchases, sex..... Lets start thinking first, then acting :)  

 

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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

An awesome point.

Quote From: lh2000

Unless as a nation we are willing to implement and pay for national child support then we cannot allow men like Matt to abandon their children. 

I second this.  This is not just Matt & his $500 a month.  It's about Matt's child AND about the rights of future children.
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

having to pay for baby

 when a young girl and guy get together a lot of times it's just for fun on both parts, but in our society we seem to always think the girl must've wanted a baby. I'm sure that after she's gone through her nine months of 'paying', with the morning sickness, watching your body morph, back pain, the stretching of the abdomen not to mention the birth!! After all that, and some things I've missed she's ready to talk to the Dad about child support and she's asking,"Why am I the ONLY ONE PAYING!!" 

 And the matter of women having a choice and the man doesn't. That's because the kid's in her and she's the one suffering already paying, that's the only way she can give up her rights! She can't just sign papers and the baby appears in the father's arms!! Men must be sure to put their children in women who want children! Finally!! In the past, before d.n.a. it was just,' no, I've never seen her before,' and the woman had all the responsibility.  

 
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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

disagrees also

Quote From: williams70

I disagree that she must have misled him.  I too was told that I would not be able to have children due to a tumor on my pituitary gland.  Sure enough though, three months later I was pregnant.  I never misled my husband.  I gave him all the info that I had and he made the choice to not wear protection.  Thank God he saw it as the miracle that it was and today we are happily married with two great children!!
I also disagree with you.  You assume the responsiblity when you have sex, no matter what you are told. Matt should have thought  hum, if I have sex, I could produce a child, maybe I'd better keep my pants up because that is not what I want right now. That's the problem in society today, no one thinks of the consequences of their actions till after the fact, then they blame someone else or hire a lawyer to get them out of it.  You created a child, take responsibility for it.  Oh and by the way taking responsibility  means making sure this child is raised to be a happy productive memeber of society, not aborted.
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

Thank You!

Quote From: rollcage

I'm a married man that was living with my wife before marriage and had a child. I didn't feel I was ready to be a father at first was scared and nervous. but I stayed around I chose to take the chance and I feel that its not my right to tell her that she has to do anything to her body. and I feel that the mind is part of the body and for me to say hey you have to give this kid up is violating her just as much as if she said I am giving the kid up you have no say is to me. I feel that if you take the chance you take the responsibility. I think more people and I do mean people not men or woman people need to take the responsibility of there actions and live with the consiquinses  

This is exactly what I am thinking. You do the crime you do the time. If he chose to not wear a condom he chose to let the potential conception happen. I think his argument is that he doesn't know that sex is where babies come from, even though that is its main purpose. I agree with you about the mind being a part of the body. People often forget the psychological aspect of pregnancy and birth. A woman cannot carry a child under her heart for nine months and not feel a soul connection with the child. Giving a child away is like tearing out a piece of your heart. I know, I've seen several friends in high school pregnant and the ones who kept the baby are doing just fine. The ones who gave away the baby said they are unsure if their decision was right and they feel complete emptiness inside.
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:01 pm PDT

That is the dumbest argument I've ever seen

Quote From: stupormom

Women get the lion's share of the choices in this issue because they get the lion's share of the concequences.  The day that a man can carry, deliver, and nurse the child, they can have all the choices they please!  

Women fought for RIGHTS and now that men want the same you all have silly excuses. 

  

 
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April 21, 2006, 2:02 pm PDT

not right

when the young man decided to have intimate relations with any woman regardless of the out come if there is a child involved that he must take responsibility for that child. I have a 6 year old autistic son and even though doctors told me I would never carry a child to term due to medical reasons I would not have given him up or aborted him even if I had known from the second of  conception . It will always be the parents responsibility the chidren have no choice.
 
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