What do you do in the case when a father is granted permanent residential custody of his two children because the court has found the mother to be incompetent in every aspect of parenting and the mother continues to harass the father because he has moved on with life?
I call this the MALICIOUS MOTHER SYNDROME. Look it up on Google, you'll find it! I am a single mother of two beautiful girls that I thank God for EVERYDAY. However, I got involved with a single dad who I worked with and was friends with for 3 years prior to dating him. I knew that he had the children living with him, but never took the mother for custody or child support because she did not bother with the children. The mother was then a 27-year old woman when she found out through the children that "Dad had a girlfriend." Once she found this out in December of 2004, the problems began. Keep in mind, due to the fact that I too am a mother, I was "Pro-Mommy" from the gate. He had no desire to speak to her because all she would do is verbally abuse him. I thought, well it can't really be that bad, let me try to talk to her. Well from "Hello" she did nothing but verbally abuse me and call me every name under the sun. So, she tried keeping the children on two occasions. She would just call our home cursing and screaming saying he would never get the children back and you could hear the fear in the children's voices when you spoke to them. The second time it was for almost a week or two, so he immediately had to go to court and file for an emergency custody hearing. Then he followed it up with a normal custody hearing. Well, she made all of these allegations in court that there was all of this abuse and she desired a "Best Interest" investigation by the court, her wish was granted. The "Best Interest" investigation ruled in the father's favor and NONE of her allegations could be substantiated. The crap really started flying then! With this investigation, it showed that she was really more incompetent than the court knew. She is a bi-polar woman. She is also a manic depressive with suicidal tendencies. This investigation revealed a lot of physical, mental, emotional and verbal abuse not only on her part, but on the great-grandmother's part as well towards these two children. We would hear her asking the children on the phone if they wanted her to kill herself, if they wanted me to be their new mother, etc.
She proceeded to call child services, known as D.Y.F.S. in the state of New Jersey. She made many complaints that the father was physically abusing the son. Every and all allegations were always with the son. This is because the son wanted to live with her, but the court would not let this happen because of her mental instability, past history of abuse and not being able to provide for the child financially. She made multiple telephone calls to D.Y.F.S. claiming physical abuse against the son. NONE could be substantiated!! She then went to our local Police Dept. and dropped off a "Package." It was a letter written by the son and a voice recorded confession, THAT WAS NOT ALLOWED IN COURT during the custody hearings. Instead the Judge spoke to the son directly and the Judge's opinion was that the child just wanted to live with the mother. She was warned by the judge that if she continued to make false allegations, that the children's father could bring her up on charges so she should be very careful of her actions.
The mother was allowed supervised visits with the children every other weekend with her felony convicted boyfriend being the supervisor, however, the rules were not followed multiple times. The daughter would come home and cry telling us that they were left alone with Mom and that she would sleep all day and that they often starved. So, one weekend we investigated and had to remove the children with the police. Her retaliation was accusing this father of sexual abuse against THE SON. Not to mention that she had gotten wind that he & I were planning on getting married and buying a home together to give the children a backyard. The father had recorded the children's conversations with their mother after this incident and she had stated while speaking to the son that "Don't worry. Mommy is going to kick butt. Mommy is coming back with a vengeance." This is when she had the child claim sexual abuse. This man went to the county prison for four days until we could get the $75,000.00 bail set and his children where taken into foster care. The worst thing is that right on the complaint it states that the judge had reservations about signing this complaint. I would only assume because he was made aware of the history of this case.
I know for a fact that this man did not do this because I was the stay at home Mom who raised his children while he worked and sometimes very long hours, because this custody case has out a huge financial strain on our home. Not to mention that I have two daughters of my own and they are m first priority! I would not associate with anyone who abuses a child in anyway, shape or form! I would appreciate any and all comments or information that anyone can give me. This is a very serious matter and this innocent man is looking at 15 years to live in prison if something does not give. His child is so mentally & emotionally damaged by this woman that this child now believes that this is a normal way of life. Nothing about this case is normal. Not from the start and not now. Please prayer for all of the children who are involved, his two as well as my two girls.
I thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Many blessings.
DLovingMom
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.
