Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

I'm so sorry your going through this. I am also pregnant with my third and even though my husband was shocked but happy, our families are not! Both sides have ran their mouths about us being pregnant and they don't do much with our two right now so why does it matter? But your husband needs to realize you DID NOT make those babies on your own and you SHOULD NOT raise them on your own.  I made that clear to my husband that he was and will help out with everything. I think you should go on a girls day or night out and let him stay at home with them and see how much you do and  how hard it is being at home with them. it's really not watching Dr.Phill all day HAHA! Maybe then he will start to appreciate what he has and want to bond with your children. My husband has male family members that don't believe the man should help out and he has told them how close it has brought himself and the kids together since he does help with daily duties they don't just run to momma they also run to daddy and that makes him feel proud. Try telling him that and leaving him home alone and  letting him see the benefits of silly bath time or dinner time so he at least has the chance to form the wonderful bond we form as mothers. 

I hope I helped  

Good Luck!! 

If you dont want to be a father than you should not have any sex.

Dr Phil, Dr Phil, Dr Phil. Your show is sometimes very biased. Not all people care about kids like you do. I have noticed that whatever someone's problems are, all you care about is the children. A man is going to have sex, no matter what, when it is offered. If a woman says she cannot have children or is on the pill, he is going to believe it. My concern, as should be yours, if you are so concerned about the children or the baby in this case,  should this child be raised by a lying manipulative mother. What else will she lie about? She lied to him, and if she chose to have the child, she and only she, should be responsible for it. It was her decision to lie to her partner, and now she should bear the burden of that lie. I am a woman, and I really cannot stand the way that women manipulate men, and I truly believe it is due to the fact that they are so misinformed by the media such as yourself, because they know that if they come on your show, they will be showered with the attention they so crave and possible get a great gift.

Dr Phil,
 Was watching the show today  and I jumped up  and said ( I am from the south ) " That boy is OUT HIS DAMN MIND"!!!  What  was/is he thinking?????  If he did not want to be a dad, why was he having sex unprotected??  I am  just speechless,

In most cases I agree that it is both sexes responsibility to keep from getting pregnant or from getting sexually transmitted diseases.  My brother's situation is however different.  Back in the early 80's he had got married and had a baby within a year.  They both thought that their marriage was a mistake but stayed together until after the baby was born.    

  

After the baby arrived they decided to divorce and she kept custody of the child.  She soon remarried and she moved out of the state without my brothers knowledge.  My brother has never seen his little boy.    

  

But a few years ago his ex-wife filed for child support.  My brother says that the child had to be 18 years old when she did this.  He now pays child support but has never seen the child.    

  

A few years ago he tried to protest this in the California courts to  no avail.  He stated that he would like to meet his son but has been stone- walled.  

  

He would love to meet his son.  Can anyone help?  

  

  

As a woman and parent of a 18month of daughter I  have a lot of views upon this topic.  First let me say that I do agree with Matt partially on this matter.  We woman pride ourselves on the fact that we have the right to choose whether we want to be parents are not and the man never  has a choice. Sure he could always sign his rights over as a father but we still look at him with disgust. At the same time we can choose to have an abortion, drop the baby off anonymously or give her  up for adoption and we are being responsible.   I don't believe 100% percent in abortion I just can't see destroying the life of an innocent.  But at the same time if I were raped I don't know what I would do or how I could raise that child so I will not step in the shoes  of those woman and say I know. But I see so many young girls and professional woman who use children and abortion as get out of jail free cards. Men don't get that option at all and no it is not right. This girl had a discussion with him and lied to him about never being able to have children but at the same time she was taking birth control. This should have been a red flag for Matt. But at the same time they clearly discussed the issue and as well his views upon children and she must have agreed to some point or gave him the assumption she had the same views. To me she wanted a child and she got what she wanted.  Yes, they both had unprotected sex with each other. But if this were the other  way around and  he wanted the child and she wanted an abortion the discussion would not exist. Why because it's her body, but even though that child is not born yet, it is still his child!  But he would have  not rights on whether his child were born or not!  And no one ever cares about what that man felt or  how her having an abortion may affect him emotionally.  My brother and his long term  girlfriend were having a baby when they were in high school. Her mother forced her to have an abortion.  And when I saw the hurt  my brother had and how it affected him emotionally all I wanted was to take it all away.  He wanted his child and he had no choice.   Men should have some choice.  But it like Roe vs Wade will need to have some type of stipulations. I am tired of woman having children for a payday the court systems are not set up to take in to consideration the father's needs financially and are to quick to order in favor of the mother to avoid controversy.   I know so many woman who go to court to get child support because the know they can with no question, regardless if the man has been there taking care of the child or not and still refuse that man the rights they want as a father. The courts may order that man to pay child support and her to allow him visitation of that child.  If he doesn't pay he goes to jail, but if she doesn't allow him to see the child the courts do nothing.  So, either way you turn it there needs to be some kind of change on all the above issues alone. I'm not saying we need to wipe out abortion or anything like that so don't get that wrong. I said I don't believe in it 100% we need some changes on the issues above alone.  

   Hi  

   I do believe in bonding but there are limits. whether it be the man or the wife through out the day you are bonding with your kids during that time. when it is time for bed it is time for bed. now that doesnt mean take the kids to bed with you,because it can cause over bonding and when you try to seperate your kids from your side it can bring some rough consequences.   

  Put the kids to bed (there own) and leave your bed for you and your mate,the only time a child should stay in bed with the parents if they get scared (thunderstorms,lighting,strong winds,cold) and so forth. please i am not the perfect parent but i was done like that and i never sufferd when i was younger.     

I am bewildered by this man who has brought a lawsuit to get out of taking responsibility for his child.  First of all, I would like to correct one thing that they stated on your show.  They stated that a man has no choice if their child is given up for adoption.  That is not true.  Both parents have to sign on giving up thier child for adoption or at least a man can contest it.  I know this because that is what happened with my brother's baby.  He contested and got his little boy back.  The other thing I wanted to state was that he keeps stating that he did chose to be a father at this time.  Well, this baby did not chose to be born to him either.  How fair is that?  Are we gonna start suing God for unplanned events like a heart attack or a tornado that swept our house away?  Why people are refusing to take responsibility for their actions is crazy and is a bad model for our children.  I hope that the courts do not allow him to get away with this.  He may realize one day that this baby is a blessing and not a mistake. 

  

  I watched the show.  He looked(the boy wanting to have more rights) like he was on the defense the entire show.  I was always taught that intercourse was for married people.  Are they married?  Then should they be haveing sex?  I also agree with Dr. Phil.  If the choice he was hoping for was good sex with no child then he should have wore a condom.  I was also taught that I'm the only one that will take care of myself.  I have to make the responsible choices for myself.  How can anyone be truthful in the heat of the moment?  Like isn't that the time when all the blood is rushing toward somewhere?  I feel no sympathy for him or his cause.  If he wins maybe we should sue for the right to make men carry the baby for 9 months.  Nothing is fair in life.  I think he should just step up and be a man.  Isn't being responsible the manly thing to do?  Isn't fighting for the right to not have to be responsible for the child the cowardly thing to do?  I think we as a society need to stop and think about our moral responsibility in the world.  Or do we need to teach our children to HAVE morals.  Seems to me that not many people in the world teach there children morals.  I think its a big joke.  I'm not by any means saying that I am perfect.  At 26 I had my first child.  By a man that was divorced and had 3 children from his first marriage.  He didn't want any kids with me either.  But do you really think I wanted a kid?  But after it happened and I had no choice but to have it......I had to step up and be responsible.  I know I know we have choices.  But I have morals and feel its my responsibility  as an adult to step up and be responsible for my choice.  So adoption and abortion aren't my choices.  They aren't something my parents taught me were good moral choices.  The BOY on stage is just trying to not have to pay for the the choice he made.  I feel sorry for the little girl.  Even if he loses and has to pay child support....do you think that after 18 years of getting child support the little girl is going to say.   HEY MY DAD IS COOL HE PAID CHILD SUPPORT.  Yea like the money makes any difference at all.  What a waste to put such a huge cause on such a unmoralistic idea.

Just like I told my 19 year old son, if you choose to have unprotected sex, be prepared to pay child support.  Sounds to me like Matt wants to have all the fun and zero responsibility!!