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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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girlcr

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April 21, 2006, 2:28 pm PDT

Equal Rights Goes Both Ways

I am a 25 year old woman in a commited relationship with a man who is in complete agreement regarding children. Neither one of us has any desire whatsoever to have a child and if the birthcontrol methods we use ever fail, I will get an abortion. I agree that this young man should not be forced to financially support a child that he did not want. The young woman involved told him repeatedly that due to a medical condition she could not have children. On top of that she told him she took birthcontrol. Whether she was lying or just wrong, he went into the relationship with the understanding that he would not come out of it as a father any time soon. He made it clear to her that he did not want a child at this time. And it is true that women are the only ones who get the final say. A woman can keep a child, put it up for adoption, abandon it, or abort it and there are laws to that protect these rights. Men are not given this right. While I do not believe that anyone, man or woman, should be able to control what an individual woman chooses to do with her body in regards to pregnancy, men should be allowed the same rights in certain situations. If a couple knowingly has unprotected sex should the father be able to say "I choose to not be a father?" No. I don't think mens' rights should enable them to be careless when it comes to sex. However, in cases where a woman assures a man that she cannot get pregnant, that she is using birthcontrol, that if an accidental pregnancy occurs she will not hold him to his responsibilities, and then she does, a man should be given the right to opt out of fatherhood.

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sylvieclem

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

I agree with the gentlemen

Please exdcuse my French.

I think women use the power of being pregnant or not too much...If he was told that she could not get pregnant and did anyway...why he should pay for it? Condom or not!!!I know a few ladies that told the gentlemen--especially when they are rich--that they can<t get pregnant for which ever reason and after they have the kid...they go for child support. Or even a friend of mine, fell in love with a guy but did want to have a kid and she told him that shw would do anything to get preganant. All the time was taking the pill...even went through a fertility clinic and could not find out how she could not get pregant. They are still together!!! Is that alright??? I agree with Dr. Phil stating that people are jumping in bed too fast but the women need to take her responsabilities also and stop taking men for stupid people.

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dutton21

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

Baby's rights

Honestly, one a baby is concieved, there should be no way out. The choice should stay BEFORE sex, never after. I can understand how a man wants the same rights and choices a woman has on being a parent, but BOTH are wrong. Life happens, that does not mean that it's okay to take a life, even when the egg is just fertilized, because it is life, it will be life. Woman's rights, what about the baby's rights?

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pmg006

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

disgust will never explain the feeling......

I think that he is horrible in feeling the way that he feelis toward her because he will never understand how it feels to be told by a doctor that you will never have children. I have three friends right now that can not have children. One of them had to have a historectomy when she was 12 because she had so many problems. It tortures her everyday that she will never be able to have children and there are people in this world that don't even think twice before they say they don't want a child. I am on his ex-girlfriend's side because this child to her is more that likely a miracle that she never thought that she was ever going to have. She now gets that luxury of having a child that so many people in this world don't get because they do have medical problems.

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joe666

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

His choice

Matt has a choice, just like the woman that make the choice to keep a child. It goes both ways. Yes it is upsetting that he does not want his child. But noone can change that. Many women give up their children maybe for the wrong reasons. But who are we to judge. A man should have as much of a right as the women. Maybe she did lie about not being able to get pregnant but she did and she had it, knowing he did not want the child. Many women are decieving and some women would con their significant other into a relationship like this one. If you cant have two parents at least this child is loved by one. That's more than a lot of children have these days.

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ohanasm

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: txmommyof2

I totally agree with you. I couldn't beleive that he's trying to blame this all on her when he had a part in it. She certainly didn't get herself pregnant, and I'm sure she wasn't ready to be a mother then either. I think he's being childish. He needs to realize that he took a huge risk by not using protection, and now he needs to be a man and take responsibility! He needs to quit thinking about himself and start thinking about his baby. It's not fair that this lady is having to do take care of this baby all on her own, when they both decided to have unprotected sex.

I agree. The fact that they were each taking responsibility to please each other and themselves, means now is the time to take responsibility as an adult. He obviously cannot handle making adult decisions since he just wants it all to disappear. Regardless, there is a child that is a result of this situation and he should not evade responsibility. He does not have to be a "father" to the child, but he does need to be responsible and pay up!

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zionlover

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

IS THIS FOR REAL?

He is part of that baby. Why should the baby suffer because he can't control his trouser snake! He should AT LEAST support the child finacially. The baby is the ONLY innocent one here!

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wespauley

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

DUH!!!

If you don't want a baby then take responsibility for your actions. The fact that a woman who supposedly couldn't get pregnant was on the pill would have been the first red flag, though I suppose there might be another medical reason for taking them. Also, I don't trust anybody I don't know REAL well any farther than I can throw them, so I would think something like unprotected sex through before I participated in it. Of course I am a bit older and sex no longer consumes my every thought, so I don't think with my smaller "brain". One other thing, I wouldn't sleep with anyone I'm not in love with anyway, so if a baby did hhappen, it would have a family and be loved.

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somerset65

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

Legal or moral

Quote From: cymrycat

wrong. You are obviously a man. Pregnancy BY DEFINITION is a condition that takes minerals out of a woman's body to create the baby. Gestational diabetes can happen without warning. So can Pre-eclampsia where the blood pressure of the woman goes through the roof and she is then in danger of proceeding to eclampsia which is a FATAL condition if not caught early and the fetus/baby delivered quickly. Regardless of medical advances, pregnancy can still be a very dangerous condition to a seemingly healthy woman. Women still DIE IN CHILDBIRTH from placental abruption, placentas which attach too deeply and pull the uterus inside out after birth, the uterus can refuse to "firm up" after delivery which leads to hemmorhage and other complications that CAN NOT BE PREDICTED. What you're saying is if the man wants the baby and the woman doesn't you want a court to FORCE her to carry to term and risk her health and life? Men are never placed in danger of health and/or life by the conception and carrying to term of a baby. As a woman who IS currently pregnant the idea of the things that CAN go wrong scare the daylights out of me! Pregnancy is not quite as dangerous as it used to be - but it can still unexpectedly cause a major hazard to women's health and lives and NO PERSON can predict when or if something will go wrong so NO PERSON can compel someone to continue a condition that CAN cause lasting damage and possibly death. BTW - there are also consequences possible in a healthy pregnancy such as urinary incontinence which would then have to be surgically corrected.

Medicine will be able to allow men to carry babies to term in the furture. The technology is coming. There is a case in England where a woman carried a baby OUTSIDE of her uterus for 8 months and delived via c-section. When that happens, I fully expect "baby transplants" to become viable options for those men who want kinds when the woman doesn't. Until that day - MEN have no right to dictate what happens to WOMEN'S bodies. The idea of allowing this is morally, medically and ethically repugnant.

It's not politically correct to say, but the woman is totally worng and should be charged with fraud. She absolutely deceived the man in question and has ruined his life because of her desire to have a child.

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leahcorin

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April 21, 2006, 2:29 pm PDT

Should men have a choice

I think men need to use condoms if they are worried. You should be using them anyway. I believe unless you are seriously committed or married you should be using condoms and if possable birth control. I am not perfect i have made mistakes but I do know that I am 50% responsable for all that stuff also. But I would never take full responsability for what comes out of sex. I am also one of those people that will raise my own child and write the man off as a loser if I had made a child by mistake with a guy that didn't wanna take responsability for it.
But I would never say that he deserved to be let off the hook. That is not fair. It takes too to do the dance. If the guy wants to bitch about it then he shoulda wore a condom. Even better, maybe he shouldn't have sex in the first place if he is not ready to make a baby with a woman he doesn't want to be with or end up with.
Sometimes I am just shocked at men and woman out there. Its never their fault. They got tricked. Please.........maybe they shouldn't trust who they are talking to about this stuff, they don't know them enough anyway right? Oh but wait when it comes to getting laid and pleasured its all okay to trust them when they say "ohhhh I can't get pregnant anyway" or "oh ya I am on the pill so dont worry" or "oh i dont have any diseases"

please, most the people don't even know when they have a disease. So they may not even know.

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