Message Boards

Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More July 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Excited

Message Emote
chillin'
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

Sex is a choice!

Quote From: bwisdom

Why do women get all of the chocies? Yes we ALL know what causes pregnacy and we all know how to prevent it. But WHY IN THE WORLD DO WOMEN GET ALL THE CHOCIES? Yeah, I know... It's your body. Well it's his life also. And no it's not the baby's fault, it's the man and woman's fault. Yet the woman has a choice to have or not have the baby. (Either way the child will be effected. By not having a father or having one who dosen't want him/her.) What if we start thinking about the tables being turned? What if the man wants the baby but the woman wants to have an abortion? What then? If women have choices, men should have choices. We as women want to be equals. We have faught for so long, and are still fighting, for our rights to be considered equals. Yet, we want to have the rules one way when it's in our favor and the other way when it's not??!! We can't have it both ways. We either consider the child a child and treat this child as if it were out of the womb OR we decide it's a choice and it's not a child until post-womb. We can't have both. We can't be selfish just because it's our bodies, just because we're the womb. Either it's a choice or it's not! After that is decided, then if it's a choice the man should have his choice, if it's not a choice and it's a child, then a father he should be able to refuse or use his parential rights! Brandy W, KS
Sex is a choice and by making that choice it is his responsibility. Matt was fully aware of the choice and if it is in his head to worry about whether or not she can get pregnant or being a father, then he ultimately is aware of what can happen. Matt has no excuse and is fully responsible. Matt is being selfish and trying to blame her for what happened and is scared and does not want the responsibility. This is a perfect example of how sex is related to responsibility.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

fooled father

Quote From: cosonov

  The fact that they had discussed the reprecautions of pregnancy, and how it was not a great time to have a child, should deter any legal action taken against the father. The woman should not be allowed to renegg on her decision to not have a baby. If anything, the father should be charging her with breach of verbal contract!  Too many woman are having 'cute little babies' just to say they have them. It's almost like an accessory in some cases. Leave the father alone. He made his position clear much before the night of conception!
i soooo agree with you.
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

Men not wanting to be fathers

I think that if men don't want to be fathers and the woman decides to keep it, it should HAVE to be discussed and then if he still doesn't then his rights should be terminated. That way later on in life if she gets married then he new man can adopt the child with no problems. There are women out there that get knocked up for the purpose of that child support check or to "trap him". I don't think that is right. I have a son that a man said he wanted and showed no interest in and didn't pay a dime in support either. But he sure did want to fight me for my husband to adopt him. Luckily the judge saw right through him and my husband adopted him.
 

Message Emote
angry
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

When Will Men Get It?

Matt, if you DID NOT want a baby, then you SHOULD HAVE WORN a condom!!!!! plain and simple.  You cannot leave it up to the woman, because she says she's on the pill or that she knows she cannot get pregnant.  Matt, you're  a JERK!!!! and so is your lawyer to even bring such a case!  When Dr. Phil brought this to your attention, your weak response was wearing a condom was not guaranteed.  Well dear Matt, you didn't use one so you don't have a valid point.  Bottom line you should have used a condom but like most men, you're just a jerk when it comes to protecting yourself and leave it to the woman then blame her when she becomes pregnant.  Grow up! YOU WILL NOT WIN the case and you will have to pay child support until your child is 21....you jerk!!!!
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

Where is the baby's choice?

Americans are so driven by this little word "choice".  I didn't choose to be a father.  Well,boo hoo for you.  As far as I can tell, you may have made a choice with your words...but your actions chose differently.  Dr. Phil is right.  Does anyone care about this baby girl?  What if 10 years down the road the mother "chooses" not to take care of her.  Is that still her choice?  What if the parents of a baby with severe birth defects "chooses" not to care for the baby.  They didn't "choose" to have a baby with birth defects.  Face it people, choices only get you so far. At some point you don't get to choose anymore, you just have to live.  LIFE HAPPENS.  Matthew, grow up and face your responsibility...not the least of which will be explaining your media driven comments to your daughter when she gets old enough to understand what you're saying.  Choose your words carefully!
 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

Tricked?

Quote From: bpsigma

I'm not trying to sound like i'm all for the dead beat dads, because I see such men as pathetic. But I kinda see where the boy is coming from. Young teen girls, for some reason have a strong so called "need" to have a child. and sometimes they will do and say anything to get that. That even goes for some adult women. I'm not sure what went on in the room with those two young people, but I do bleive she did say that she couldn't have children. When a teenage boy is in a room with a naked girl and a hard penis and the absolute assurance the he's gona get some, their thinking diminishes, and will believe what she says. I can understand this because I was placed in a simular situation. When I was seventeen, a girlfriend I had just started going steady with. we were sexually active. I was a verry cautious kid. I used protection all the time. One day she confided in me and said that she was incapable of getting pregnate because she was molessted as a child. And I believed her. She knew that I was afraid of beeing a father at that time. And had no inttention of having a child. One day when we were about to have sex she didn't want to use a condom. I figured since she cant get pregnate, why not. one month later. She tells me she is pregnate. and I'm in the very situation I didn't want to be in. Did I make a mistake? Yes. And was I tricked? Yes. Don't worry I stepped up to the plate to take care of my buisiness, but I was also forced into that situation.    

   

At the end of all this, there is nothing we as men can do about it. regardless of the situation in which conception happend. Many women do this. I'm not saying all. But many. and after its done. we have absolutely no coices in what to do. and the women get all the choices.. And the men pay the child support. I don't think its fair that people can just say since you din't use protection, You just have to deal with it. We should have choices in what should happend only in the condition we were trapped.. The young lady admited that she told him these things. He should have a choice if he wants to be in the child's life or not. How he could denie his child knowing its in his reach, I don't know. Thats the only thing Crazy to me. But he should have that constitutional right. She made him believe that she couldn't have children. Said she was on birth control. For sure hes gona take the comdom off. He was a kid. Kids are Kids. Immature, kids. Hormones temporarily destroys a kids mind, for a few minutes. The boy thought he was taking precautions, by actually talking with the girl. Regargless of how Nieve he was, he doesn't deserve to be striped of all choices to be made.    

   

On my final note. The boy does need to man up and take care of this child. that is the right thing to do. My argument is only, in this particular situation he should be able to choose if he is going to do the right thing.   

dont believe what you are hearing and wear a condom anyway. Or maybe you should not do the deed at all.
 

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

It's simple

I'm confused about what all the debate is about. There's only one way to be sure not to have a baby, DON'T HAVE SEX! If he didn't want to be a father so bad, he shouldn't have dipped his pen in the ink. Now it's time to man up and face his responsibilities.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
frustrated
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

Quote From: cosonov

  The fact that they had discussed the reprecautions of pregnancy, and how it was not a great time to have a child, should deter any legal action taken against the father. The woman should not be allowed to renegg on her decision to not have a baby. If anything, the father should be charging her with breach of verbal contract!  Too many woman are having 'cute little babies' just to say they have them. It's almost like an accessory in some cases. Leave the father alone. He made his position clear much before the night of conception!

  

I hope you always wear a condom then!  If you 'men' never want children then please make sure you can't have them! Maybe don't have sex until you are ready!! 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

unbelievable

Grow up, be a man, and have some responsibility! Oh, and don’t forget to use a condom next time.   

 
User Mood
Angry

Message Emote
angry
April 21, 2006, 2:31 pm PDT

What a freakin crybaby!

What a load of crap!  This guy is a real piece of work.  The courts should double his child support and for the long hair hippie, he should get a hair cut and a life.  Parenting is a dicision for the lucky ones and a responsibilty for other to grab on with both hands.   A baby deserves to have the best life he or she can have. I only wish the best for the beautiful baby and the beautiful mother.
 
First | Prev | 176 | 177 | 178 | 179 | 180 | 181 | 182 | 183 | 184 | 185 | Next | Last