Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

When I was 23 I was told by my doctors that I couldn't have children.  I never told my boyfriend this, he refused to wear a condom, and I never worried about it.  Well the doctors were wrong!  I got pregnant.  I decided I wanted to keep the baby and I'm glad I did.  I never considered his feelings, I told him from the beginning that he could have as much or as little to do with the child as he wanted.  He was a very sporadic parent, he did have child support payments ordered  by the court (he said he wanted to pay child-support).  We rarely got it and it was a very small amount anyway.  When I got married six years later my new husband and my son got very close and the bio-dad had dissappeared, so my husband adopted my son.    

My husband and I are divorced now and he pays childsupport.  He's never late, he pays xtra for medical, etc. and never complains, although he moved from GA to FL with no reason, just wanted to take a job out of state, so he never sees my son, and rarely calls him.  The bio dad showed up after the divorce and now wants a relationship and a say-so in how my son is raised.  He has never mentioned the fact that he doesn't pay child support and has never offered to pay child-support.   

I don't think either one of these men are good father's, but both of them have a responsibility to my son.  My child didn't ask to be born, and he deserves better.  

I feel the same way.  If you don't want to be responsible for a child then don't have sex!  

Dear Dr. Phill,  

I would like to say first that I think that Matt is a UN fit parent and should have to pay child support just for playing the victim role.  He is not the victim the baby is. So what the girl said she could not have a baby, I have a brother and like he said he was the fool.  If he knew he was not mentally, physically, emotionally, or finically ready for a baby the he should have strap up.  Then the man who said that the woman should give the baby to a family who has a mother and father that is a bunch of bull s--t.  Why should she give up her baby?  Plenty of kids come from a single parent household and are wonderful kids.  Look at me and my brother. My mother raises us and did a damn good job. We are both in school, and about to graduate. I will be finish in six months and my brother will be finishing next year. He will be a physical therapist and I will either apply to pharmacy school, are become an occupation therapist. My mother did all this without my dead beat dad.  Matt is a poor excuse for a man, he knew right from wrong. His lawyer is in it for the money and if not the money for the fame. I think that this law will leave a lot of kids without fathers. God knows we have enough kids suffering right know without their fathers or a least a father figure. Matt should think about his daughter and what she will think when she get older and how kids will be tease her in the long run. Matt is being selfish and like all the other dead beats just don't want to have to step up to the plate.  He should not win this case and I hope and pray that he loses.  If he wins this will just give men what they need to walk away from their responsibilities and in most cases it is the men who want the babies and when they get here it is another story. I have three girls and there father is a dead beat. So I feel sorry for the baby and for her mother. Matt makes me sick and he should be ashamed of himself. I wonder what his family thinks. I know if they have any decent icy in them, they can't be please. Matt needs to grow up and stop living in lala land as the rest of the dead beat father do.

 For the man who said that babies should have both parents, he is right. But when one parent opts to leave that does not mean that you give your kids away. I am a great single mother of three girls and balance work, school, and parenting with no problems. A lot of my single friends call me supper woman. I don't call their dad for nothing. I don't care if he doesn't ever see them, take care of them are anything. Like my grandmother always say “You Cant Miss Something You Never Had".  That is so true. So Matt little girls will grow up to be an exceptional child, and then he will want to claim her. What he does not know it will be too late. Why do I say this, because it will come a time in that girls life were she will stop wanting to have a father who doesn't love  her or who didn't want her, and except who has been their and who will always be their her mother. It will be too late for Matt, because I am that little girl who father left and know am doing something wonderful in life and wants to come back. I can forgive but right know can not forget. It is too late for my father.

Thank You

Sincerely

MomofHope