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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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bievro

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April 21, 2006, 2:35 pm PDT

Dead Beat Parents

I think that the choices are forfited to both parties when they have consensual sex. Protected or not, everything we do in life has consequences, period! If you aren't mature enough to be a parent you aren't mature enough to have sex.

I don't even agree with some of the choices women are given, such as abortion. I am adopted myself and I still do not know my biological father. I do believe the upcoming generations will sufer as a result of DEAD BEAT PARENTS!

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jenmarie

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

THANK YOU

Quote From: hbohanan

Americans are so driven by this little word "choice". I didn't choose to be a father. Well,boo hoo for you. As far as I can tell, you may have made a choice with your words...but your actions chose differently. Dr. Phil is right. Does anyone care about this baby girl? What if 10 years down the road the mother "chooses" not to take care of her. Is that still her choice? What if the parents of a baby with severe birth defects "chooses" not to care for the baby. They didn't "choose" to have a baby with birth defects. Face it people, choices only get you so far. At some point you don't get to choose anymore, you just have to live. LIFE HAPPENS. Matthew, grow up and face your responsibility...not the least of which will be explaining your media driven comments to your daughter when she gets old enough to understand what you're saying. Choose your words carefully!

Very sound thinking here- i wish everyone could read what you wrote- good for you, I COMPLETELY agree

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rrobby

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Father's Responsibility

I think the fellow who does not want to take responsibility for being a father, should realize he had responsibility when he wanted to have sex in the first place. To say he should not have to pay now is saying he wants the fun but not the duty. It is a COP OUT. What kind of father is he going to make in the future (assuming there is one). Will he walk out again? Too many want the fun but don't think about the consequences of their actions. So now he wants the mother to take responsibility of society as a whole to take responsibility. Anyway you look at it he will still pay (but everyboty else pays for his play time). NOT FAIR.

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sgpvt2004

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

get a clue

Quote From: cosonov

The fact that they had discussed the reprecautions of pregnancy, and how it was not a great time to have a child, should deter any legal action taken against the father. The woman should not be allowed to renegg on her decision to not have a baby. If anything, the father should be charging her with breach of verbal contract! Too many woman are having 'cute little babies' just to say they have them. It's almost like an accessory in some cases. Leave the father alone. He made his position clear much before the night of conception!

I guess mistakes never happen huh...verbal contract...how about the use of a condom..or better yet DO NOT HAVE SEX IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD!!!!! There are NO guarantees to not have a child..whether a woman was told she could not have kids or not...the only way to ensure you are not going to create a child is to not have sex...plain and simple!

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mikah26

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

She played a bigger part

Quote From: britt510

I am very shocked at what I heard from this man about not wanting his child. I am pregnant, and I would be completly crushed if the father of my child, whether he was my husband, boyfriend, even just a guy friend didn't want to have anything to do with our child. I see his point about the equal rights, and he seemed like a nice man, but how could anyone evil or not, want nothing to do with something that is a part of them. A child is a wonderful gift to me.

Hello I am a happily married mother of two and sorry but I have to agree with him. If that man told her up front how he felt and she inturn decided to stay in this relationship then she is at fault. When he told her this then she should have ended this relationship instead of taking this risk. Instead she told him that she could not have children and plus taking the pill for extra precautions. You are so right children are a wonderful gift, when both are choosing to take the responsibility to take on the role as parents.

Again she did not know that she was going to get pregnant but he should not have to pay for it.

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rocky616

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Don,t want to be a DAD

Some people might be surprised by my feeling. I am a 63 year old grandmother.If this was my daughter i would stand by her and be as suppourtive as possible but I wouldn,t want the father of the baby to be forced to participate in my grandchilds life. This also means support. I feel the girl was as responsible as he was. I believe eventually this young man may come to regret this decision but I don,t think he should be forced.

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courtlosch

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Disgusting

I was completely disgusted at how Matt is acting in this situation and that is filing this lawsuit. First and foremost, nothing is 100% effective against pregnancy except abstinence. One of his arguments was that she was on the pill, which is not 100% effective. His other was that she had a medical condition which did not allow her to become pregnant. That is not an argument at all. She could have been lead to believe that she could not become pregnant, but a medical condition can change. I have known people who were lead to believe they couldn't conceive and years later had been able too. If you are having sex you have to ALWAYS be ready for the possibility that you could become pregnant. Matt is obviously someone who just dozen;t want to take ownership of the situation, and be a Father...

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annd41660

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angry

April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Baby Wars

Matt should have keep his pants on and zipped.

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bobnsophie

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Baby Wars with a loaded gun?

I think that if a man is not ready for fatherhood, then he should not be doing things that could result in fatherhood. The mere fact that he engaged in sexual intercourse obligates him to accept his responsibility in bringing a child into this world. Suppose that someone handed me a gun and said the firing pin has been filed down so that this gun can not possibly fire a bullet. If I were to put bullets in that gun and by chance it did fire a bullet and killed someone, does that mean that I am not responsible for that person's death. I think not. It is time that people accept responsibility for their behavior in this country. I totally disagree with this gentleman who does not think he is responsible. It does not sound like the woman is asking him to be a father, but rather just participate financially in this childs future. I think he is extremely immature and needs to grow up and be a man. By the way, this is not the viewpoint of a woman....I am a man!

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jacialane

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embarrassed

April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Poor Pathetic Man...

I have never registered or been in a message board discussion. Matt has driven me to embarrassment for the entire male population. I have watched teens all of my adult life and have raised two daughters with my husband. When you make the choice to play...sometimes you have to PAY! I always told my daughters that it takes 2 to tango and you make your own choices. Matt was arrogant and definitely irresponsible! I am sure that during the "heat of the moment" that he did not say, "Oh by the way... I am not ready to be a father". HE MADE A BAD CHOICE WHEN HE REPEATEDLY HAD SEX WITH HER. Every person should be responsible for his/her own body and also safe sex. If the courts even hear this case...it will be a travesty of justice. I feel so terribly sorry for him... He will be a very unhappy old man one day!

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