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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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wwhite9148

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Bull Crap

When he got into bed with this lady he gave up his opinion about having a child . And any judge that let's him out of his parental duty shouldn't be allowed to be a judge.

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cosonov

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Proosdy

Quote From: proosdy

i soooo agree with you.

Thank you..at least someone knows where i'm coming from!

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xtruelovex

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April 21, 2006, 2:36 pm PDT

Well Here's What I Think

Wow this guy is a jerk. Okay I get the fact that he said he wasnt ready for a child, and she said she couldn't have kids because of a health problem, but I mean come on, they did it, they took that risk that something can happen because even though someone is told they can't have kids, something can happen or the doctors could be wrong, and birth control doesn't always work. So what I'm saying is, they had the choise to do it unprotected or not and they chose to. Also, it is HER body, SHE'S the one thats pregnant so she should be the one with the choise to keep her baby or not, shes the one that has to deal with all the pain of pregnancy and shes the one that has to have the baby, not him. I understand that guys want to be able to say if they want it or not, but I also think that women have the most say because it's us that have to carry the child for 9 months not them. So if we want to keep the baby we've had for 9 months then we should be able to without the men trying to tell us not to.

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jimmiej

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

Baby Wars

That man should be taken out to the wood shed and slapped silly if he did not want to be a father he should have kept it in his pants or in a condom it was his choice that he did not and now he needs to face the resposibility wheither he wants to or not.

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cycolbur

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

equal rights

i know it is hard sometimes for men when it somes to unwanted children i know that child support is sometimes is not fair for the guy. they both made a mistake she should allow him to sign off his rights. the way i look at it she did mislead him again it is not entirely her fault he could have used protection. i see many male friends who are broke week after week just paying child support on a child they rarely get to see. unforunately the it swings to one extreme or the other i beleive there should be a reform on child support. i have seen dead beat dads who refuse to pay anything but i have also seen dads who pay over half their take home to child support and have no money left over to pay bills, start over. a friend in know paid support on a child that turned out not to be his but he had been the dad he had to pay. the mother in that case had cheated on him. there are to many ifs and buts in this i just say look at it from his point of view . in all this whole case hopefully can be resolved in the best interest of this beautiful child.

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spbaldoni

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

It was your choice though

Quote From: bpsigma

I'm not trying to sound like i'm all for the dead beat dads, because I see such men as pathetic. But I kinda see where the boy is coming from. Young teen girls, for some reason have a strong so called "need" to have a child. and sometimes they will do and say anything to get that. That even goes for some adult women. I'm not sure what went on in the room with those two young people, but I do bleive she did say that she couldn't have children. When a teenage boy is in a room with a naked girl and a hard penis and the absolute assurance the he's gona get some, their thinking diminishes, and will believe what she says. I can understand this because I was placed in a simular situation. When I was seventeen, a girlfriend I had just started going steady with. we were sexually active. I was a verry cautious kid. I used protection all the time. One day she confided in me and said that she was incapable of getting pregnate because she was molessted as a child. And I believed her. She knew that I was afraid of beeing a father at that time. And had no inttention of having a child. One day when we were about to have sex she didn't want to use a condom. I figured since she cant get pregnate, why not. one month later. She tells me she is pregnate. and I'm in the very situation I didn't want to be in. Did I make a mistake? Yes. And was I tricked? Yes. Don't worry I stepped up to the plate to take care of my buisiness, but I was also forced into that situation.

At the end of all this, there is nothing we as men can do about it. regardless of the situation in which conception happend. Many women do this. I'm not saying all. But many. and after its done. we have absolutely no coices in what to do. and the women get all the choices.. And the men pay the child support. I don't think its fair that people can just say since you din't use protection, You just have to deal with it. We should have choices in what should happend only in the condition we were trapped.. The young lady admited that she told him these things. He should have a choice if he wants to be in the child's life or not. How he could denie his child knowing its in his reach, I don't know. Thats the only thing Crazy to me. But he should have that constitutional right. She made him believe that she couldn't have children. Said she was on birth control. For sure hes gona take the comdom off. He was a kid. Kids are Kids. Immature, kids. Hormones temporarily destroys a kids mind, for a few minutes. The boy thought he was taking precautions, by actually talking with the girl. Regargless of how Nieve he was, he doesn't deserve to be striped of all choices to be made.

On my final note. The boy does need to man up and take care of this child. that is the right thing to do. My argument is only, in this particular situation he should be able to choose if he is going to do the right thing.

You said it yourself, you choose not to wear the condom. If you were that afraid of pregnancy or what not you could of been more adamant about wearing the condom. What would wearing one hurt? I guess you have the rest of your life to think about it huh!

You wear your seat belt when you get in a car because you don't want to get hurt if you get in an accident, right? Same thing, you mine as well wear a condom during sex if you don't want to get pregnant. Common sense!!!!

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debbyk007

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

baby wars

to the man who had sex with a woman and is complaining because she got pregnant -- if he didn't wear a condom, apparently he didn't have any concern at the time of the sex other than his pleasure - and to complain afterwards - too bad - why punish an innocent baby who never had a say in this matter. And as everyone says "the only totally safe way to avoid pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases is to obstain from sex". I'm sure the woman would have preferred not to get pregnant also, but once a woman has a real-life inside her, the option to give the baby up for adoption doesn't always hold true. This man seems heartless and the woman and child are definitely better off without him - however, he was there for the conception, he should help pay for the raising of this child -- BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS'! THAT'S THE ETHICAL THING TO DO! DON'T PUSH THE BLAME OFF TO ANYONE ELSE - HE WAS A PARTICIPANT - IT'S HIS CHILD - STAND UP AND BE AN ADULT, NOT A SPOILED BABY.

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no1gymmom

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

Men need to accept responsibility

This guy made a decision to take the girls word that she could not have children. If he truly did not want to have children, he should have used and/or insisted on some form of birth control. This however is not a 100% guarantee.

Since a child was conceived out of this relationship, it is the responsibility of both parties involved to take responsibility. Why should it be the sole responsibility of the girl? Obviously this guy is looking for an out and does not want to pay support. He truly needs to grow up!

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isthisone

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

The "I Don't Want to be a Father boy!"

All the info was plainly out in view! She said she couldn't get pregnant. If she still has the equipment, there is always the chance. She was on birth control. How many stories do you hear daily of BC babies? They BOTH made the choice to have UNPROTECTED sex! He knew there was a chance she would get pregnant and she knew there was a chance. They both just started thinking like teenagers again..."Oh, it won't happen to us!" Well, IT DID HAPPEN TO YOU!!!

That beautiful little baby is now the victim of your selfish act. Neither one of you deserve to keep her. The father obviously doesn't want her and the mother is probably not in a position to support her. So, do the grandparents have to step in??? What a shame. There is no excuse for unwanted pregnancy in this country. I know the mother loves that little girl, but has she really thought out the long term part of this? She isn't a puppy you can put in a cage when you are through playing or when she is annoying...and she will be annoying at times! Pray for the baby.

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mikeinnc

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April 21, 2006, 2:37 pm PDT

baby wars

I agree that men should have more rights when a pregency occurs that was not agreed upon by both participants.

I disagree with Dr Phil that the male gave up his rights when he "chose" to not use a condom.

Although it will help prevent pregnency, a condom was not and is not designed to prevent pregency.

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