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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

IF YOU WANT A JOB DONE RIGHT....

  

Let me get this straight, Matt REALLY didn't want to be a father so he told his girlfriend I'm making YOU responsible for making sure that I don't become a father????  Using that logic any guy that says moments before intercourse "oh, by the way I really don't want kids right now" should be cleared of any and all resulting pregnancies like it is some kind of disclaimer at the end of a tv commercial!!!!  Matt's girlfriend was not responsible for anyone's actions but her own.  It doesn't matter if she was honest or not.  It wasn't her responsibility to look out for Matt and by intrusting that responsibility to her he was taking his chances.  Now he needs to be responsible for the consequenses of his actions or lack there of.  ADVICE TO MATT:  IF YOU WANT A JOB DONE RIGHT, DO IT YOURSELF. 

 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

if you do not want a kid do not have sex!

Matt you are stupid!She said she was on the birth control pill and you just said that burth control is not always 100%!!look if you do not want a kid do not have sex!!! Or jus t ware a condom!!!! it is not her fault!besides it is your child so take some responsibilty!!!
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Baby Wars

As a single mom in a similar situtation to what was on regarding Matt , his ex girlfriend andhis beautiful little baby girl he wants nothing to do with ( yet  he helped create!!!) !!!  

  

 I can only sympathize with his ex-girlfriend raising a child alone and having to deal with such a self centered moron. Rights?  Matt , doesn't deserve  any rights , he is no kind of man in my opinion  and is heartless,  I think self centered moron isn't the word for Matt.     He needs to get fixed if he doesn't want children.  After all he was a active participant at some point. 

  

Wishing I could talk to Matt's ex as I bet we'd have alot in common.  My heart goes out to her and prayers send her way for a happy healthy life with that beautiful little girl she is raising alone.  Her quote Dr. Phil read on her behalf   very well worded ,  What a beaituful little girl. and a very blessed  mom to have a life with her despite her poor excuse of a father.    

  

  

 I am dealing with the same type of situation and have been raising my now 15 month old son on my own .  To tell my story  I will try to make this simple and hopefully not too confusing.  Or boring for those that care to read it. 

  

    I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome at a young age and through many years with a previous, yet  marriage and trying to concieve I had all but given up and  thought I could never have children.  Years later and much to my surprise at 32 I became pregnant with my son. Through a very short lived unhealthy realationship with his father   

  

    Through a very rocky relationship with his father that looking back should have never gone as far as it did.  After finding out I was pregnant in August of 2004  I decided to dissolve our relationship in late October as I wasn't being treated fairly and my welfare and my babies ( health wise was much more important to be than a self centered fathers.  I had severe hypertension and had to be put on bedrest for the last 3 months of my pregnancy.  Being a sometimes stroke level with severely high blood pressure just wasnt worth dealing with the stress the realtionship had on me. I think staying would have only made things worse for me. 

  

 I know now  that our son wasn't ever  wanted  by his father and have treid very hard to come to terms with it, even though it wasn't my intention of ever having a child with this man. 

  

    I wasn't careful and neither of us used protection. The only comment I had ever heard from his father was on the day of the first sonogram which I had asked ( many times before he agreed to even be there)  was, " how much of a huge sacrifice it was for him to be there and to have to take off work. "   

  

    This really opened my eyes and also helped me make my decision in knowing I was better off going at it alone. This really hurt me for a long time.  

  

  On a more happier note  In January of 2005 after a pretty rough road being on bed rest,  I had our son via c-section with my mom at my side It was a very happy day.  The only minor complication  was that he was born with 4 small holes in his heart ( murmurs) . That I'm happy to say have by the grace of God have almost totally healed all but one small spot. He doesn't even have to go back til he's 4 to the pedatric cardiologist.      

  

   Not once  ever through this whole ordeal did his father ever call to ask how I was or how his son was, knowing the due date, and knowing via his parents about his sons medical problems,  etc.  He has never even seen him other than photos., to my knowlege and claims he can't afford to suppoort him in anyway.  He's a CPA working for a good company mind you and also has a 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage.  

  

   I also had to call his parents in July or felt I needed to and let them know of their grandsons existence, as I knew he'd never tell them or his daughter about theirgrandson or her little brother.  

      They were naturally shocked  when I told them and demanded a paternity.  It was amazing how quick after all that time within hours that he tried to contact me, It was hard for me to make the phone call as it took me awhile to even get the nerve to call, but I felt it was important that our son know his grandparents as I'm not a only child as my youngest brother was killed several years ago.    And I lost my own father when I was 10 in a car wreck.   

  

  On a much more saddened note our son  is now  15 months old now and the only contact I have had with his father is through one telephone conversation stating he isn't cut out to be a father  and his career is more important , he has since moved on married again, less than 2 months after my son was born to a lady with 2 children and is providing a roof over their heads To make a long story short he wants nothing to do with our beautiful happy, healthy little boy. It is also his parents only grandson they will ever have.  It saddens me that anyone including my son or should I say our son has to even endure this through life.  To me he is a blessing and was meant to be here despite the circustances.   He got to meet his grandparents for the first time last fall.  I'm glad I made that choice even throughh we don't see eye to eye either and they feel contact with their grandson is betraying their son till the court  dealings are over with.   

  

  In my opionion even though hind sight is always different it does take two and I'm equally responsible for bringing my son into this world and now feel it is my responsiblity as well to see that he is nurtured as raised in the best way I can raise him.  I only wish his father would realize that, but have come to the acceptance that it will  probably never happen, and Feel it is best that our son isn't subjected to the screwed up , self centered mentality his father , some may feel differently, but I can only do my best to see that is upbrining is done with lots of love, encouragent and high moral values, and in a christian upbringing.  

  

   It is very hard when  your on the other end being the single parent as many of you might know. I hope you get to read this  Dr.  Phil, or Robin.  Your books and show have been very encouraging to me through lots of my struggles through my ordeal with my sons father., as well as my own life  I'm so very glad that you chose to have this story on the show regarding Baby Wars.   It really hit home and needed to be discussed.  I hope that you will have more shows on regarding single parents and their struggles hopefully witn more happier endings than mine.   

  

 I don't know if this is the right place to post thies , and I hope I haven't confused anyone.  Needed to vent.    

  

    

CTD2005  

in Texas hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.   

 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Matt splat

Quote From: cosonov

  The fact that they had discussed the reprecautions of pregnancy, and how it was not a great time to have a child, should deter any legal action taken against the father. The woman should not be allowed to renegg on her decision to not have a baby. If anything, the father should be charging her with breach of verbal contract!  Too many woman are having 'cute little babies' just to say they have them. It's almost like an accessory in some cases. Leave the father alone. He made his position clear much before the night of conception!
 First of all genius, it is repercussions, not reprecautions...but then, the rest of your statement is just as ignorant...
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Man = Selfish

What a shame that the individual on the show is willing to put his life before the life of his daughter.  I hope Dr. Phil, or someone of his caliber, is around for this child in the upcoming years.  I also hope the Mother of this lovely child seeks counseling.  With any luck at all, the two of them will meet a man in the future who will be a REAL Husband and Father to them both.  Oh, tell the aging hippy he needs a haircut; he might be more believable (although his arguments are pretty inflammatory).  Good luck to the girls.
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Parental Choice

If a woman says she cannot get pregnant, and a man has sex with her which results in a child, he should not be held financially liable since he was told pregnancy was not part of the equation. 
If a woman lies about her fertility, she should be 100% liable to care for the child if one is produced.
If a man lies to a woman about being impotent or had a vasectomy, but some time later is found to be the biological father, then he should be liable to the woman and child.

The issue here is honesty and responsibility, which is sadly fading into the setting sun of our day and age.  If a man or a woman doesn't want children, then they shouldn't have sex, PERIOD!
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Scary Lawsuit

I believe we already do enough for the male persuasion including sacrificing our names and our lives to be their wives and the mothers of their children.   Often, it seems, it becomes war between the sexes.  Men should be held accountable for their sexual immaturity, sexual needs, sexual demands (whatever) and take care of children that they "father" whether it is financially, spiritually, physically.  One or all three.  It's not ok to have sex with a woman and she becomes pregnant and then left alone to worry, take responsibility and make the ultimate decision for herself and the unborn child.  Society (a lot of women included) seem to think that this is an acceptable practice and it isn't.  When women can stand up (together) and say "we're sick of it and we're not taking it anymore" this is going to continue on and on and on and on........
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Beyond shock

Quote From: britt510

I am very shocked at what I heard from this man about not wanting his child. I am pregnant, and I would be completly crushed if the father of my child, whether he was my husband, boyfriend, even just a guy friend didn't want to have anything to do with our child. I see his point about the equal rights, and he seemed like a nice man, but how could anyone evil or not, want nothing to do with something that is a part of them. A child is a wonderful gift to me.  

I, too am pregnant and my fiance did not except it at first.  Not because he did not want the responsibility but because he believes in doing things in order.  He has definitely come around.    

I truly believe that women have carried the weight for far too long.  If my man is going to lay down with me, then he is agreeing to whatever happens.    

The most disturning thing about today's show is that the baby looks just like her father.  How could you not love your blood.  Like I told my fiance, a child is a blessing and you cannot tell God when you want your blessings...As I go through this pregnancy I am in amazement of how everything is progressing and I am so happy I did not do what he wanted me to do and I know he is still nervous but number one, he will never abandon his son and two, he will fall in love when he looks in his son's eyes and sees himself and the love that we created.  

 
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April 21, 2006, 2:39 pm PDT

Matt needs to grow up

If Matt was soooo sure he did not want to be a father, he would have NEVER had sex without a condom.  Not even one time - EVER!!!!   Now he wants set free of the financial responsibility?  Give me a break.  I hope she takes him for every penny he's got.  And poor little Elizabeth.  She is going to know what her, for lack of a better word, father, did to get out of having anything to do with her.  That's going to be just great for a girl's self-esteem and self-worth.  In God's eyes, he is her father and will ultimately be held responsible for how he handles that position, either here on earth or when he leaves here.  I hope he chooses wisely for himself, and for that precious, beautiful little girl.
 
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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

insane

Matt and his lawyers are inhumane and immoral.  How can you live with yourself knowing that you as an adult do not love your own flesh and blood.  How can you make a living as a lawyer with such a case?   

   

MAtt if you didn't want to have a baby with 100 percent certainty than you never should have had sex. Your baby is lucky not to have you as a father because you are the lowest of the low!!!!!!!  

 
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