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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

Number of Replies: 7225

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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sja264

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

It WAS your choice

I believe that each person has the ability to choose birth control if they are so dead set against the possibility of having a baby. She could have used birth control and he could have used birth control. She didn't and he didn't. It is both of their responsibility to make sure that child is raised in the most normal of circumstances that she can be. He chose not to use a condom. She chose not to use birth control. The choice was made and they must live with the results of that choice. In my opinion!

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sing2angie

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Bad Human Not Bad Father

I found this father's position supported by his attorney to be horrific. This man accepted responsibility for his daughter when he chose not to do everything in his power to prevent it. Firstly, he mad the decision to have sex none the less unprotected sex. It was within his power to choose to wear a condom or not to have sex at all. Once a child is born, both parents are responsible for the care of that child. He is legally bound to provide for his child whether he wants to or not as would the mother if the roles were reversed. If she did not want the child or any involvement in the child's life, she would still be financially responsible for the care of the child by law. I am generous when I refer to this person as a young "man" because his actions are more like a little boy who cannot have his way. Many of us have had children at what we felt were inconvienent times in our lives. We chose to care for the innocent life who did not have a choice to be brought into this world anyway. We found a way and accepted our role and responsibility as parents. We grew up and learned how to be loving parent's. We put the needs of our children ahead of our own. Thats what being an adult is all about. He needs to stand up and be a man and think about the physical and emotional needs of his daughter.

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amberlee20

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Can't believe it!

I was shocked and appalled at the man who was trying to deny his child and get legally declared as not being the father. WHAT A LOSER! Accidents happen, but a child-planned or not is never an accident. Children are heaven sent! If that man could stop for a minute and look at the terrible mistake he is making I think that he might have a change of heart. How would he have felt if he found out as an adult that his biological father had went on a national crusade to deny that he was his child. Any person in their mind would be hurt.

To address the issue of woman having a choice, SO WHAT!! Personally, I believe a womans only choice is to have and love that child. Sex, as fun as it can be, has a purpose, and that is to create life. Every time you have sex, protected or not, you are making a conscious decision that a child could result from those actions. If you don't want kids either get fixed or stop having sex. It is that easy!!!!!

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mmaxx00

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

No reponsibility?

It is tiresome to hear from one more person who rejects responsibility for his actions and decisions. Every sexual act with a woman of child-bearing age, with or without contraception, holds some risk of pregnancy. It is unfortunate that so many children are brought into the world without two parents who consciously welcome and love them. However in the absense of this, the law must continue to hold both biological parents responsible for the care of that child. Matt's unwillingness to provide love and guidance for that child will provide hardship enough for Elizabeth. His financial contribution towards her well-being should be wholly supported by legal precedent even if her birth was unanticipated or unwelcome. The law must protect children when parents are unwilling to.

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pennyrocks

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Sex w/o consequences

Hi there...

I just saw the show with the man who claims he was tricked into being a parent ..

I have to admit that I was puzzled with what I heard and have heard over this case.

There are inconsistencies in the man's story...

first of all if the woman told him that she could not have kids then why was she on birth control pills and why did they have a conversation about having kids to begin with...

Now aside from these concerns.. the man stated that he did not want to take care of his child (whether he likes to claim it or not) both emotionally or financially...

Well here is how i see it...

when he made the conscious decision to have unprotected sex he should have assessed the risk and the potential that the woman might have gotten pregnant.. after all, he did seem intelligent enough... did he critically assess the risk ? did he take the lady's claims of not being able to have kids at face value? is he truly that naive? and since we are in the topic of risk.. I wonder what would be his reaction if he hit a person by accident while driving his car ?? would he get up and go because he does not have a choice of the consequences? judging from what he and his lawyer said it would be OK to abandon the person because it is unconstitutional and it violates his freedom of choice...

Well... THAT IS PLAIN UNETHICAL....

the man needs to be responsible, grow up and deal with the consequences of his behaviors and actions in a mature way ...

Grow up and pay the money... after all, the fuss is about the money .... not about the baby and it's well being....

PAY THE PRICE FOR YOUR ACTIONS - BE RESPONSIBLE ....

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djsmommy

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angry

April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

appauled!

The whole reason why there ARE child support laws are for skum bags like this guy! The states had to creat child support through the legal system because of the men who didnt want to pay! If men were able to just "not pay" or not take responsibility there would be no need for these laws. These men are rediculous!

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bonnie15

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happy

April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Yes!

Quote From: uga_gal

**I don't understand how a man can deny his own child like this man is doing. He should be ashamed of himself! HE HAD THE GUTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THE GIRL, and i'm sure he has sex-ed at some point in his life. If he can be man enough to sleep with the girl, then he needs to be man enough to take responsibility for his actions. No man is dumb enough to think that unprotected sex is safe.**

I so agree with you. The man is just trying to get away from responsibility. I say sex should be kept until marriage.

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ddaignault

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I think that both parties (Male & Female) are responsible if a pregnancy occurs. This should be whether planner or not!!!! If Matt did not want to be a father or be responsible for any child he SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX!!!! The fundamental purpose of sex is to procreate the race. The only 100% fail safe "SAFE SEX" is no sex. Yes I believe that men should have more rights from the get go, but I think Matt's claims are childish and a day late and a dollar too short.

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wbu123

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April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Takes two

It take two to tango! The thought that she can not get pregnant is crazy; if she has not had a hysterectomy she can get pregnant. He has to be smarter than that. The only way to get pregnant is to have sex. If you take the chance you pay the price. The issue of a female having a choice to not be a parent, is the same choice the man has when he has sex, protected or not. People are having too much sex without commitment. If parents of these "children" would explain that "they",(the participants in sex) should respect each other and wait. Yes sex is fun, but on the other hand parenthood is hard. I have three kids and my husband I struggle paycheck to paycheck. Being a single is hard enough without extra money. The issue should not be the aftermath choice, but the child that did not ask to be born. Statistics prove that children that are economically challenge will suffer educationally, and in many other ways. Yes, there are welfare and other avenues to help a single parent. The reason for Roe v. Wade was for the government not to have the ability to tell a women what they can do with their own bodies. This judgment was not for a women to have sex and decide that abortion was the answer. The judgment was established for a women to have the choice after being raped, left, and the child having serious medical issues. The judgment should be reviewed and not be on the books for birth control. Children that are going to have sex for fun, need to understand the consequences for the fun. Both should be held responsible. The issue of Roe V. Wade should never be considered, because if they are going to "tango" then they both should be held liable.

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arayne

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Mellow

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quiet

April 21, 2006, 2:40 pm PDT

Children

I have a situation kind of in reverse. I want to take my children and travel with them, and move and I am not allowed to by court. Their father won't allow me to take them! I would love to have the legal option of rights to do whatever I want to too!

I had a verbal contract and the court does not recognize it. Of course, that brings up another subject of 'marriage'! And that's another thing...

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