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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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jncobb191x

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April 21, 2006, 2:52 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

i think that before any one has consitual sex they should discuss the possibility of pregnancy. when my husband and i first started dating four years ago and were talking about sex we also starting talking about what each of us wanted if i were to get pregnant. so when we took the next step in our relationship we knew were each other stood. at this time i was only 17 and he was only 19 but he knew that i do not believe in abortion and there would be no way i could ever give my baby up for adoption, i think that everyone should be responible enough to be able to talk about this before they take their relashoinship to the next level and if they do not agree then maybe they should think twice before taking their relationship to the next level. i also believe you play you pay.

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horsmand57

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

I'm a mother of 2

Quote From: sharon69

I am a female but I think that Matt is correct. She lied about getting pregnant and he should not have to support this kid.

Like I said I'm a mother of 2 but they are adults now and on there own. I watched Dr. Phil's show today about Matt and when they showed that baby I don't know how anyone could reject that cute little baby.
He should step up and be that child's dad these are her precious years.
So be a man and be her Dad

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ellebean49

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

"Make Women as Responsible as Men"

Quote From: bonnie04

I can't say that I don't agree with this gentleman. For many years, women have purposely gotten pregnant to make that "catch". Yes, the child suffers and its sad.

If they had married for the sake of raising a child together and didnt get along, then end up divorced AFTER the child KNEW His/her dad... its better how? The child is still being raised without a dad. I have watched over the last 30 years many children strive through unhappy homes, broken homes and they all seemed to turn out ok......whats NOT ok..is women who DONT take their share of the responsibilty for the proper measures for SAFE sex....why is it always HIS FAULT?It takes TWO..

The laws have needed to be changed for years.....Recently Georgia put into effect starting in July....BOTH incomes matter in deciding child support amounts.....After seeing many men and second families do without while she remarries and has the child support to spend friviously....its a good change..Congress needs to make women as responsible as men......

Sorry, but there was not, is not, and probably never will be a level playing field with regard to women! When women are paid equal wages and offered the same status in this society, and when men take the responsibility that IS THEIRS, then and only then should women be solely to blame and expect to raise a child without the support of the father! THINK! THINK!

This is a case of an immature man with his back up, his ego on a rampage. You watch, after the baby is born, he'll file for custody and STILL not have a clue who he is, where he is going or what the heck to do with the child!

Consider the context!

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writ2b

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

Grow up!!!

It's no great mystery that unprotectd sex can result in a pregnancy. Sex is for mature adults who understand the ramifications of their actions. Grow up and take responsibility for the child you helped create. It doesn't matter that you don't want to be her father -you are!!

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pnkntits

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

04/21 Baby Wars

I think that if he wants to "opt out" of being a father, than that's his choice. If that is what he decides to do, then he should sign off all rights, and never try to make contact with his child or the mother. As soon as he comes to his senses about how stupid his actions were, and he realizes that he wants a relationship with his child, he should have to pay what he would have owed. Either way, I think he'll feel bad in the end.

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venzon5

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

I agree

Quote From: dilysw

VASECTOMY!!!!! It is a simple procedure in which you have a little snip. I highly recommend it especially for immature morons. Save the children who are really wanted and cherished.

AMEN!

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tiraisthe1

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

It Take two to make 1

Men & women have responsability to act in the proper manner if 1 or the other didn't want or just

not ready for a child it up to that individual to make sure they take every messure to ensure that they

are protected with birthcontrol.

But even birthcontrol is not effective so before entering in sex think long

and hard how this could effect your life.The child shouldn't have to suffer for you actions

P.S Were all adults we control our own destiny.

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aubsmommy

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

You decide before you have sex

I do agree with many of the posts that you decide whether or not to have a baby when you decide to have unprotected sex. If you don't want a baby then you should wear protection or use some other type of birth control.

However, If women are given the option of abortion, (which I do not advocate) then men should have an option as well. If this girl decided to go and get an abortion, she would not have to get his permission. We need to make our laws far to all involved and I absolutely think that abortion is not the answer, but we need to find a happy medium. She can choose and he can not and now he has to pay child support. It is his work against hers and some poor judge will have to sort this out.

If this case goes in the Father's favor then he will be the evil one, but I don't know who is right. There are a lot of men that do not pay child support or just feel that they should be able to pay it on their schedule not the courts. I know this personally, but I feel that if the Father doesn't want to pay then they should give up their rights to the child, it is that simple and she chose to have the child so leave him out of it and raise her on her own.

These are just my thoughts and I don't know the real answer to this problem.

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lilnell

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April 21, 2006, 2:53 pm PDT

laws out of date

Quote From: maremeadow

Please note.. I did NOT call them MEN in the title. Real men step up and face their responsibilities. Matt, on the other hand is an fully grown child... worse, a DOG. Having raised three daughters without ONE pennies child support, court ordered and NEVER paid, I feel like an expert on the subject.

Furthermore, I am raising my severely autistic grandson. This because when his mother (my traumatic brain injured daughter) told him that she would get an abortion because she didn't think she was ready to have a child and their marriage was VERY rocky. He threatened her and basically forced her to have the child. Halfway through the pregnancy he was beating her, raping her and throwing her down stairs because she "moved too slowly." She left him when the baby was 20 days old and has lived with me ever since. I am supporting them both. He has paid $15.00 in child support in 2 1/2 years. This child is 2 1/2 years old and is severely handicapped. He has not made one attempt to communicate in any way, no mimicking sounds, not walking... this boy needs a LOT of help! I feel quite certain that his condition is due to the abuse that the mother took during the pregnancy. He also took the child off his insurance and his therapies alone cost close to $2,000 a month... my burden!

These fathers all had rights... they INSISTED on having these children. Then they ALL abandoned them emotionally, financially and otherwise.

My philosophy has been simple. I step up and assume the responsibility. No court, no hassles.. just let the dogs run and take care of the babies. The fight is NOT worth it because it only adds legal fees and stress and worry to the already difficult situation. However, in my opinion, this country is seriously failing it's children by allowing deadbeat dad's to avoid the financial responsibility of the children they created.

Whether a man chooses to be a father or not is his choice UP FRONT... practice abstinence, use protection or step up and take care of the child.

Matt, shame on you! That baby looks identical to you... sweet and adorable. How cold and selfish can a human be? You are despicable!

This woman had this baby because she wanted it.Women today have many many forms of birth control.They claim its their bodies ,they have the right to do what they want to do with it,I hear that from very young girls now days.

The laws are not fair and are totally on the womans side.Did you know if a married woman wants an abortion she does not have to tell her husband?Yet if the husband wants to have a

vasectomy he has to have her consent. I know lots of young males raising kids, their wives left them ,None of them can get child support.I fell so sorry for the little children.

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kcobble

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April 21, 2006, 2:54 pm PDT

Matt is CRAZY!!!

I think that Matt, his attorney, and that other guy with the pony tail, are all ridiculous!!! Matt should take responsibility for his actions. The mother of the child is doing so by taking care of their daughter and raising her. Matt is crazy for not wanting to be apart of the baby's life, she is so beautiful. Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone also should learn a lesson from them. Matt should not have been having sex in the first place if he wasn't ready for a child. When he said that he was violated, I thought to myself he is nuts. Women are violated when they are raped. Its not like that girl forced him to have sex, he could have said NO!!! He just needs to take responsibility for his actions. That doesn't mean he has to be apart of her life, if he just pays child support, that is better that nothing. If she lied to him when saying that she couldn't get pregnant, she should be sorry for that but it does take 2 to tango. I was in the same situation. I was told by my doctor that I would have trouble getting pregnant, if I could get pregnant at all, and I was on the pill for health reasons. My husband (boyfriend at the time) and I decided to have unprotected sex and ended up getting pregnant after having sex twice. Neither on of us were ready for a child but it was just God's will for us to have one at that time. I am lucky that I found a true MAN that would take responsibility for his actions. We are now married and have a beautiful daughter who is about to have her 1st birthday. Thank God for REAL MEN!!!

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