I just don't understand how a man can say "I trusted her". People trust other people on a regular basis and get screwed in the long run. That was a lame excuse from the "boy" who thinks he has no responsibility with regard to the child that he helped to create regardless of his "readiness" to be a father. I MY opinion, the girl he slept with should allow the "boy" to make the decision to not be apart of the childs life by allowing him to sign over all legal rights, she should then turn her concentration to the child and allow herself to find the person she's meant to spend her life with who will willingly and lovingly accept her child as his own. This is the situation in my case. Before I slept with my daughters father, I had been told previously by OBGYN's that I may have a very hard time getting pregnant due to some serious female problems. I was never told that it was impossible. I shared that with the father of my daughter. I slept with him and was pregnant. It was a big shock, for both of us. He denied the child from the very beginning, Dr. Phil. Considering I lived at home (age 20), not having (in lamen terms) "a pot to pee in, one to throw it out", my parents encouraged me to make the father be responsible for his part in the conception and future care of the child. The father refused, I filed for paternity, the courts made him pay child support. To this day, I wish that I had never gone through with that. I DON'T need the money, as I do very well without it; it's become a treat, when and if my daughter gets it. But the reason that I wish I had let him run, scared into the wild blue yonder, is because of the turmoil that my daughter goes through on a daily basis. His parents have made more attempts to be apart of her life than he ever has, however, since he has spent time with her, and she with him and his wife, and other two children, my daughter has developed a love for him, for all of them; that love all children have for their parents, no matter how poor a parent they are. He has moved away to another state with his family and has NEVER bothered to call her once. She speaks to him only when she visits his parents, which is on a rare occassion, as she's very busy being a little girl and too, because his parent's live about 45 minutes away. She has been diagnosed with RAP, Reoccurant Abdominal Pain, due to not really being able to internalize the aggravation and hurt she feels because she never gets to see her father nor does she get to talk to him, we have no phone number to reach him, and they don't respond to emails.
My point is, the girl is going to cause more pain for the child (although, I understand her motivation to an extent) if she doesn't just let the "boy" walk away. Let him go. Her child will not blame her later. She will understand so long as she is loved and encouraged and even more so, if eventually, the mother finds someone to spend her life with that will love her daughter, as my husband loves and accepts and cherishes mine. And now my daughter thinks of her stepfather in a fatherly manner, as she more often than not, refers to him as "daddy".
The boy is a coward, as is my daughters bio-logical father. They have no idea the joy and fulfillment their children would bring to their lives if given half a chance. I pity the fathers of these children. It's a serious loss they're suffering willingly, but hey, they want freedom to choose... so give it to them! Women don't have that much of a choice... we have more options yes, but ya know we still have to endure the pain of abortion (which should be illegal in MY opinion), the pains of carrying a baby to full term, giving birth, and giving the baby away, or the pain caused from fear, worry, and confusion when chosing to accept responsibility and face it head on by keeping the baby and being a mother to the baby. It's not like they come with a "how to" manual, we have to adjust our lives with each of these choices. There's always a piece of us that has had to be re-evaluated because of the decisions we're faced with, so please, excuse me if I sound a little bitter, but the excuses of these "unwilling" fathers really fall short of any realistic need for legalities and rights.
We all have rights... right to have sex AND rights to not. But all of our choices come with consequences... be grown up enough to make the right choices so your consequences are minimal. Life would be easier if people just learned to make better choices, and not blame someone else if the choice they make didn't benefit them the way they percieved it would.
But again, this is MY opinion... everyone has one.
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep? Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.
