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Topic : 07/06 Baby Wars

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:22:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/21/06) Being a parent is hard enough, but what happens when Mom and Dad can't agree on how many kids to have, how to raise 'em and how to get ‘em to sleep?  Sometimes, it can lead to an all-out baby war! Matt's baby battle ended up in front of a judge and made headlines. He was ordered to pay child support for the baby he had with his ex-girlfriend, but he says he shouldn't have to cough up the money because she told him she wasn't able to get pregnant, and he told her he didn't want to be a father. He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as “Roe v. Wade for Men,” arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood. Next, Dan says even though he and his wife, Lisa, already have four children, he wants just one more. Lisa has been pregnant on and off for 11 years and says she's closed for baby business. Will Dr. Phil help Dan see Lisa's point that four is enough? Then, a frustrated husband is camping out on the roof of his house and living in a tent. He refuses to go back to his bedroom until his wife moves their kids out of their bed and starts paying more attention to him. Can Dr. Phil get him to come down the ladder? Plus, a sleep expert has a simple method for getting your child to sleep through the night. See the plan in action! Share advice and talk about the show here.

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July 6, 2006, 11:35 am PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: dissedvet

Maybe Matt can gather all his support orders and other legal obligations eminating from this encounter and place them, wrapped in a blanket, in a cradle or bassinet in front of a hospital, police station or any other designated  newborn drop off "safe zone" and see if they will take care of it for him.....
No..only women can do that!!  They can abandon their responsibilities without persecution...why can't he?
 
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July 6, 2006, 11:44 am PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Now what if ...a women got pregnant by mistake, felt she was incapable of being a good mother and wanted to terminate the pregnancy.  The father on the other hand wanted the child.  Would it be fair for the court to not only force the mother to carry and deliver the child, but force her to pay support for the child after it was born....I smell a double standard!!
 
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July 6, 2006, 11:46 am PDT

Child at risk

 
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July 6, 2006, 11:51 am PDT

Baby wars

Joining the military is a choice ( well maybe not, women are excluded from the selective service; maybe that's why there are more women in college these days. They can apply for Federal Financial Aid without fear of reprisal. The government pamphlets that are disseminated on the college campuses throughout America regarding Selective Service blantantly state in bold letters ITS WHAT A MAN HAS GOT TO DO....I guess you are not a man if you don't. If not a man does that make you a woman) but each day I see the tributes to our fallen military heroes it seem like all the dead servicemen you see are just that, men. Maybe we are just sperm donors. War going sperm donors who have taken an oath to defend a Constitution that in cases such as provides about as much protection for them as thinly armored HUMVEES provide against an IED...
 
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July 6, 2006, 11:51 am PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: manofgoods

I didn't know that they had a rerun of this until now. I've just posted on this board about twice now, & this board seems to become more popular lately, even though they're showing this over. What I DO have to say is, whatever happened to honoring God's vows? Sex was intended for marriage & marriage only. It's sad that a lot of people out in this world are doing it, & then having a lot of deadbeat fathers (& mothers) out there because of it. I'm a young man myself at 24 years of age, & I'm definitely waiting until marriage before I have any children. That's what God wants. I don't even know what it's like to be pregnant, & having to go through that, including long labor pains & delivery, & men like myself can never experience that. Whenever sex between a man & women has occurred, you're taking a huge risk of a pregnancy, or worse, getting diseases. If men don't want to be a fathers at all, & want to have sex without conceiving a child, then they have 3 choices. 

  

1. Get yourself fixed (A Vasectomy), & always keep making appointments to make sure that it actually happened,  

2. ALWAYS wear protection (A condom), & if it breaks, STOP, then immediately put another one on, or 

3. DON'T HAVE SEX! Plain & simple. 

Thank you for your post. It's refreshing to know there are young people who have been taught Gods laws and choose to live by them.   

   

Some may frown on bringing God into debates/message boards, etc. But it is still a fact, if Gods laws were followed, we wouldn't have these issues and many others.   

   

"Plain & simple"  

 
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July 6, 2006, 11:51 am PDT

07/06 Baby Wars

Quote From: baeiouy

I find it quite interesting that no one is posting to the men that have gone through something like this in the Courts and no matter what they did couldnt see their child.  Doesnt anyone have any views on this or is it just bashing bashing bashing against Matt. 

  

This case is about EQUAL rights, not just dealing with not being a father, but also the men that want to be a part of their childrens lives but the woman doesnt want that, someone explain how that is being equal.  This is what this is dealing with, stop looking at what is on the face, but how this can actually change, for the better, equal rights for men, dealing with everything.   

Not all are bashing Matt. I for one am not and will not because as a woman I understand what it means to want equal rights and all these women posting otherwise need to take a look at the 60s women that fought and died to give us the right to abort. Men deserve this right as well. Like I said before "HER BODY, HER CHOICE" gives way to "HIS SPERM, HIS CHOICE"
 
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July 6, 2006, 11:52 am PDT

Baby Wars

If you do not want to have a child as a man then get fixed - it is a safe procedure.  I was married for several years and my ex-husband and I had decided it was time to have children.  I got off birth control, we had protected sex for 2 months (doctor's instructions) and within 6 months I was pregnant.  The week before I found out I was pregnant, my husband came to me and said he was not ready to have children, I understood and said I would get back on birth control.  The next week I found out I was with child.  I told my husband and he begged me to have an abortion, even though at the time were were trying.  After being together for almost 10 years he left, gave up legal rights to the (twins), yes it turned out to be double, allowed me to change their names and I have seen him only several times since I gave birth almost 9 years ago.  He was ordered to pay child support, but after 2 years he stopped.  I took him back to court 2 years ago and he was again ordered to pay child support and was to my surprise was given visitation.  He has seen them only 5 times at the beginning, but they have not seen or spoken to him in over 7 months.  I do not talk bad about him, but they have observed his actions compared to other fathers of their friends and came to their own conclusion.  These men will pay the price one day.  I have not doubt in my mind that he will die a sad and lonely man because of his selfishness.  I on the other had will have the love and suppor of my children always.  We pay the price so to speak, but we get the reward in the end.  Needless to say I have never been put in that situation again!!!  

   

 
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July 6, 2006, 11:52 am PDT

move on

I think that Matt should relinquish his parental rights to baby Elizabeth. If he doesn't want to be a father then he should allow Lauren and Elizabeth all of the legal rights to move on with their lives. The child support issue belongs in the courts. Let Matt spend his daughter's childhood and a lot more money over the years than he will ever pay in child support on lawyers and court fees to stand up for what he believes in. More power to him. Nobody has to agree with him. He is the one who loses by not taking the opportunity to be Elizabeth's daddy.   

Lauren should just walk away with her daughter and not look back. She should let the courts handle her child support issues. Even better, if she doesn't really need the money, she shouldn't  take it or take it and put it into trust for Elizabeth so that when the time comes that this horrible situation has to be explained to her, it can at least be said that her father provided her with something (a bank account) because he had nothing else to give. If, due to financial circumstances, Lauren does need the money, she should document every penny to protect herself and again to explain it to Elizabeth someday.  I think it is very important that Lauren protect herself and her baby because the last thing that she wants is for Matt to have a change of heart ten years from now and want unsupervised visitation with Elizabeth, who won't even know him. By then, Lauren may have moved on with a man who loves and cherishs her and her daughter.   

Yes, the ideal is for children to grow up with a loving mother and father. The key word is LOVING.  Elizabeth can have a wonderful childhood with her mother who loves her. Let Matt go and do his own thing. I hope that every woman that he gets involved with watches a tape of this show before she shares herself with him. Where are Matt's parents in all of this?  If I was his mother, I would pay the $500 a month myself before I would ever lose contact with my own grandchild. The focus here seems to be about money. Money is nothing, a relationship with a precious child is everything.   

 
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July 6, 2006, 11:53 am PDT

men and not wanting to take care of kids

i thank men make to much fuss when the girl they slept with has a baby if the guy would of put a comdom on then she wouldnt of had the baby and the fact a guy is trying to go to court to say it isnt his baby is just stupid i think if a guy wants to have sex and doesnt put a condom is stuipd
 
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July 6, 2006, 11:55 am PDT

Baby wars

Quote From: tiffertots

Now what if ...a women got pregnant by mistake, felt she was incapable of being a good mother and wanted to terminate the pregnancy.  The father on the other hand wanted the child.  Would it be fair for the court to not only force the mother to carry and deliver the child, but force her to pay support for the child after it was born....I smell a double standard!!

Obviously you haven't heard the "my body, my choice" argument. That's a real double standard..because what choice does the "baby" have? 

 
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