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Topic : Your Parenting Style

Number of Replies: 142
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:48:44 pm
Author : dataimport
What is your parenting style, and is it meshing with your child's personality? Are you an authoritarian or a permissive parent? And is your child rebellious or passive? There's no magic formula, so use this message board as a tool to define your styles, problem-solve, find support and share ideas.

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April 6, 2006, 4:43 pm CDT

My parenting style

is to love, respect and to discipline my children in a way that will help them to know and see that they are loved and valued and in a way that will teach and guide them into becoming the wonderful and beautiful, productive adults that God has intended them to be. To instill in them the Love and attitudes of Christ and to help them to achieve the goals of their hearts and desires and to instill in them that they can be and do anything they want to be, regardless of what others might think of them................Parenting is a blessing and a gift that I will always cherish with my children and even when I am having an off day and things have not gone as well as expected, I want to be able to pick myself right back up and witness to my children that it is ok to mess up at times, we all learn from our mistakes and we are not expected to be perfect and my children are learning these things, They are confident little girls who are the light of our household and it is the desire of their daddy and I to help them grow to maturity and to fullfill what ever the Good Lord has planned for them............. It is He who has given us our children to love and to adore and it is He who I am thankful for and it is He who I turn to for help and guidance for I believe if we train up a child in the way he/she should go then they will not depart from it, they will have all the teachings in their hearts and will always have something/someone to turn to.........I love motherhood and wouldn't trade it for the world and I am a confident person which again, I give thanks to the good Lord for there was a time when I had absolutely no clue on what it meant to be a confident person for there were people in my life who did their best to rip my life apart but thankfully they did not achieve it and I am here today with confidence in knowing that my children are in good hands. It is easy for us as individuals to allow others to look down on us and to make us feel that we are not doing what is right for our children, not too long ago, I was told that I was a little selfish for wanting children at my age, as if 37 is an old lady LOL, (I am now 42) I looked at that person and told her, My children came into the world just when they were suppose to and they are here because the good Lord needed them to be and the desires of my heart is to be there for my children, they know they are loved, they know they are special, and they have the best team of parents that they could possibly have because this is where the Lord God placed them. Life is good and meant to be cherished with our children and I for one am taking advantage of that gift.
 
April 6, 2006, 6:29 pm CDT

AMEN Jettav!!

Quote From: jettav

is to love, respect and to discipline my children in a way that will help them to know and see that they are loved and valued and in a way that will teach and guide them into becoming the wonderful and beautiful, productive adults that God has intended them to be. To instill in them the Love and attitudes of Christ and to help them to achieve the goals of their hearts and desires and to instill in them that they can be and do anything they want to be, regardless of what others might think of them................Parenting is a blessing and a gift that I will always cherish with my children and even when I am having an off day and things have not gone as well as expected, I want to be able to pick myself right back up and witness to my children that it is ok to mess up at times, we all learn from our mistakes and we are not expected to be perfect and my children are learning these things, They are confident little girls who are the light of our household and it is the desire of their daddy and I to help them grow to maturity and to fullfill what ever the Good Lord has planned for them............. It is He who has given us our children to love and to adore and it is He who I am thankful for and it is He who I turn to for help and guidance for I believe if we train up a child in the way he/she should go then they will not depart from it, they will have all the teachings in their hearts and will always have something/someone to turn to.........I love motherhood and wouldn't trade it for the world and I am a confident person which again, I give thanks to the good Lord for there was a time when I had absolutely no clue on what it meant to be a confident person for there were people in my life who did their best to rip my life apart but thankfully they did not achieve it and I am here today with confidence in knowing that my children are in good hands. It is easy for us as individuals to allow others to look down on us and to make us feel that we are not doing what is right for our children, not too long ago, I was told that I was a little selfish for wanting children at my age, as if 37 is an old lady LOL, (I am now 42) I looked at that person and told her, My children came into the world just when they were suppose to and they are here because the good Lord needed them to be and the desires of my heart is to be there for my children, they know they are loved, they know they are special, and they have the best team of parents that they could possibly have because this is where the Lord God placed them. Life is good and meant to be cherished with our children and I for one am taking advantage of that gift.
I love reading your post! You always give such good advice. I am fixing to be "40" in July and according to my teenage daughter, I am ANCIENT! LOL!!! You sound like a wonderful mother and person and your children are truly blessed to have you for their mom. Keep up the good work and post!
 
April 6, 2006, 8:30 pm CDT

Thank you

Quote From: jb7ctx

I love reading your post! You always give such good advice. I am fixing to be "40" in July and according to my teenage daughter, I am ANCIENT! LOL!!! You sound like a wonderful mother and person and your children are truly blessed to have you for their mom. Keep up the good work and post!
I try to be the best mom that I can be and I truly believe that my kids know that even though they are still a bit young, they are special little girls and believe me, they are learningt hat mommy isn't perfect and make her shares of mistakes and my oldest (5) does not have a problem in reminding me of some mistakes, she is too funny..................... 40, ancient? tell your daughter you are just getting started, that's what i always say and people do crack up. :)
 
April 20, 2006, 5:11 am CDT

Your Parenting Style

Quote From: heather_79

I have found an effective way of discplining my children, they are ages 6, 2 and 6 months. I reallize a child likes to have an impact on the world, whether it be throwing a rock into the creek, or throwing cheerios on the floor, or even getting on your last nerve with endless questions and  demands!!! I have started applying a program called 1-2-3 magic and it has been a lifesaver. When a child is getting into things like my 2 year old loves to do, I just simply say,  "That's 1", and if they continue I say, "That's 2" and if they make it to 3 then I say "take five", and then I send them to their room for 5 minutes. I don't say anything at all just start counting. The key is consistency, and showing no emotion. The program states that parents talk to children too much and to emotionally, they can't comprehend on an adult level, so why talk to them the way you would an adult? It has worked for me, and my 6 yr old now looks at me and rolls her eyes by the time I say "That's 1", You have to make sure you explain to your child that things are changing around your household, and be honest and tell them how you are going to handle things now (by counting). Another thing, when they come out of their room after 5 minutes, don't bring up what happened, it's over, they have a clean slate!!! It works for me, and my stress level has decreased tremendously!!! If you want a copy of the program, I can send it to you via e-mail: heathergatlin@hotmail.com
I was just looking on Dr. Phil for some advice on disciplining my children and I saw your posting - I know that it was a long time ago, but do you still have the program?  I have three children 4 and a half, 3 and 20 months.  And the thing is that when I get angry I try reasoning with them - yeah, that approach NOT WORKING!!  And my husnband looks at me like I am crazy trying to reason with them, because they don't understand, all that I want them to understand at this point that there are consequences for their actions.
 
June 7, 2006, 6:50 pm CDT

My Parenting Style

I do not think that my pareting style is working for my kids. I have six kids. three boys and three girls. One of the boys is 20 years old and lives at home with his wife and baby. The other boy is 13 and the other one is 12. The girls are 7,5 and 3. My boy that is12 is all the time in ISS at school or sent home from school. He has told the teacher two times that he was going to hit her. He will not do his work at school or at home. At his school he did his end of grade test and had to make a 3 or4 to pass he made a1 and said that he did not care because he wants to be back in the 5th grade again. I have took all of his things out of his room like toys,tv,video games but he saids that is fine he can find other things to do. I will not let him go to his friends house or play outside but he all ways says "I do not care" so if any one can help me let me know.
 
June 19, 2006, 7:26 pm CDT

TWO YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL

I HAVE A 6YR. OLD AND A 2YR. OLD MY DAUGHTER WAS LIKE AN ANGEL ALMOST FROM THE START ALTHOUGH NOW SHE HAS HER MOMENTS, ESPECIALLY SINCE HER BROTHER CAME INTO THE PICTURE.  MY TWO YR. OLD DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I TELL HIM.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE I FEEL I HAVE TRIED IT ALL AND NOTHING HAS WORKED.  HE HITS US AND HIS SISTER, HE THROWS THINGS ALL THE TIME, YELLS, CRIES YOU NAME IT.  I CANT HARDLY TAKE HIM ANYWHERE BECAUSE I GET VERY EMBARRASSED AT HIS BEHAVIOR, HE WILL SIT IN THE CART IN THE STORE AND YELL.  UNLESS HE IS TOTALLY BUSY 24-7 DOING SOMETHING HE LIKES HE IS BAD.  LIKE IF HE IS AT THE PARK HE IS USUALLY OK UNTIL HE GETS BORED OR STARTS TO FIGHT WITH HIS SISTER.  I HAVE SPANKED HIM, DONE TIME OUT, PUT HIM IN HIS BED FOR A BIT SO I DON'T GET TO MAD AT HIM, HE WILL CRY IN HIS BED THEN SAY I DONE CRYING THEN GET OUT AND HE MAY BE OK FOR 10MIN. AND START IN AGAIN.  I'M WORRIED HE COULD MAYBE HAVE ADHD OR IS HE JUST BEING TWO?  I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE, MY PARENTS TAKE MY DAUGHTER ALLOT BUT NOT HIM CAUSE HE IS HARD TO HANDLE, BY THE END OF THE DAY I'M DEAD TIRED.  PLEASE HELP I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING IT, I WOULD NEVER HURT MY KIDS BUT SOME DAYS I FEEL LIKE I COULD IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN PLEASE HELP.  i HAVE TRIED GAMES AND TABLE ACTIVITIES BUT HE WONT PLAY LIKE WITH A GAME HE WILL START THROWING THINGS AND RUIN IT FOR US ALL.
 
June 30, 2006, 10:55 am CDT

two year old out of control

Quote From: shortie78

I HAVE A 6YR. OLD AND A 2YR. OLD MY DAUGHTER WAS LIKE AN ANGEL ALMOST FROM THE START ALTHOUGH NOW SHE HAS HER MOMENTS, ESPECIALLY SINCE HER BROTHER CAME INTO THE PICTURE.  MY TWO YR. OLD DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I TELL HIM.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE I FEEL I HAVE TRIED IT ALL AND NOTHING HAS WORKED.  HE HITS US AND HIS SISTER, HE THROWS THINGS ALL THE TIME, YELLS, CRIES YOU NAME IT.  I CANT HARDLY TAKE HIM ANYWHERE BECAUSE I GET VERY EMBARRASSED AT HIS BEHAVIOR, HE WILL SIT IN THE CART IN THE STORE AND YELL.  UNLESS HE IS TOTALLY BUSY 24-7 DOING SOMETHING HE LIKES HE IS BAD.  LIKE IF HE IS AT THE PARK HE IS USUALLY OK UNTIL HE GETS BORED OR STARTS TO FIGHT WITH HIS SISTER.  I HAVE SPANKED HIM, DONE TIME OUT, PUT HIM IN HIS BED FOR A BIT SO I DON'T GET TO MAD AT HIM, HE WILL CRY IN HIS BED THEN SAY I DONE CRYING THEN GET OUT AND HE MAY BE OK FOR 10MIN. AND START IN AGAIN.  I'M WORRIED HE COULD MAYBE HAVE ADHD OR IS HE JUST BEING TWO?  I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE, MY PARENTS TAKE MY DAUGHTER ALLOT BUT NOT HIM CAUSE HE IS HARD TO HANDLE, BY THE END OF THE DAY I'M DEAD TIRED.  PLEASE HELP I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING IT, I WOULD NEVER HURT MY KIDS BUT SOME DAYS I FEEL LIKE I COULD IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN PLEASE HELP.  i HAVE TRIED GAMES AND TABLE ACTIVITIES BUT HE WONT PLAY LIKE WITH A GAME HE WILL START THROWING THINGS AND RUIN IT FOR US ALL.
Hi! I have read your message and know where you are coming from. Don't worry. You are not alone. I have a 3year old boy the same way. It is very embarrassing when we go somewhere and he doesn't get his way. I feel like people are thinking "this kid is bad". I'm not a mean mom. I don't like confrontation. Maybe I should discipline him more. I don't know what to do either.
 
July 4, 2006, 10:53 am CDT

Is it anger or teenager??

Well this is my first visit to this website and these message boards. It's cool and calming to know that I am not alone with my frustrations. Briefly, i am separated from my husband who has seen our kids (3) maybe a dozen times in the last four years. He hasn't paid any child support and only seems interested in seeing them when it's convenient for him. I've let it continue but have recently put my foot down (much to his chagrine). I have explained that he can't take the kids for a wknd and then it's 6 months to a year before he sees them again. It hurts them too much and they don't understand why daddy doesn't want them. My oldest, 13, she is having the toughest time lately. She is now old enough to understand and see her father what he is and loves/hates him. She wants him a part of her life but not twice a year. She is so frustrated and angry with him, but she vents on me, her siblings, her grandparents, whoever is around. Whenever she tries to speak to her father about it, he plays his mind games and turns the tables around to lay guilt trips on her.  

When I first left their father, I made the mistake of giving in to their every want and need. Probably because I felt guilty in splitting up our family. Now that I have learned that I shouldn't be feeling guilty and I want (need) to start disciplining them, they don't understand. It's one of those situations, mom that was okay a few months ago but now you don't allow it. Can anyone help?  

 
July 10, 2006, 5:37 am CDT

Looking for tips...

Hi,I'm new and noticed we're all going through practically the same thing.I am a Mom of 3 boys,1 will be 4 on the 22nd,the others are 4 and 13 going on 18.I feel like commiting myself at times.They are out of control.I've even called DCF on myself.They said they'd help me with everything.They've done nothing to help in the 3 weeks they've been involved.Which makes things seem even more hopeless.My oldest taught the little ones to flip the bird,swear.Taking them out they're good-they're almost angels.At home they're possessed.Screaming,yelling,fighting,making messes and when I ask them to clean up I get"I didn't do it"or "my feet hurt","my arms hurt","I need help".I feel I've lost control.The kids-whining,screaming,the stress,the frustration,the car not running right,not finding a good job,being behind on the rent,the kids not listening.Day in,day out,the same thing over and over.I get no support from so-called"father of the year".He's not in our lives any more.He chose to drink than watch the kids grow up.We went through alot to get away from the abuse.I did meet a wonderful man...but he too is getting fed up with the kids.He hears them calling each other stupid,retard,shut up,swearing.I don't believe physical spanking is good.I feel that they'll grow up thinking love hurts or be passive/aggressive.My oldest is ADHD.He's a honor roll student now(YAY).I need structure,disipline...I need help.They can be good kids.They have potential.I don't know what to do to put order back in my home.I know it'll get worse before it gets better.I feel it can't get worse than this.Does anyone have any suggestions?I feel physically and emotionally drained.I cry all the time now,I've had a headache for 3 days,I can't think straight,my eating habits is drinking coffee and 1 meal,if I'm lucky.Where do I begin?
 
July 21, 2006, 12:28 am CDT

Mothering without a Map

New here and wondering if anyone else is Mothering without a Map? 

  

My Mom met the basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) the rest is not a pretty picture.    I've no intentions of parenting our Sons, the way she did me!   

  

Curious if anyone else out there is without their Mothers' advise.   Did you find a "mentor" in a Grandmother, neighbor, books or other? 

 
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