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Topic : Your Parenting Style

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:48:44 pm
Author : dataimport
What is your parenting style, and is it meshing with your child's personality? Are you an authoritarian or a permissive parent? And is your child rebellious or passive? There's no magic formula, so use this message board as a tool to define your styles, problem-solve, find support and share ideas.

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May 21, 2008, 6:28 pm CDT

support her

Quote From: msmelisa

I am in total confusion in my situation! I have a 10 year old daughter, and her biological father lives next door to me, literally, next door. I have just recently been remarried, as so has he. Fathers' new wife and father both are the problem I am dealing with. Let me start with the Father. He is a total let down to her. She sees him pulling out with his new family and ask why is she not included. Understanding that she was the center of his world until July of 2005. She has three girls to which my daughter gets along with, only because of her nature. Already had one of them hit her upside the head with a cell phone because a temper tantrum. They have had home health services called on them for an unclean house. Don't know the outcome of that. Except what I see with my own eyes. Dog fecies stacks and stacks of dishes, it stinks, omg it stinks. Someone is always sick over there. Just a couple of weeks ago I have learned that the new wife is bi-polar, maybe the reason why she has lost my kid let alone her own 9 year old. There is no discipline over there. They can't keep a vehicle. When they do have a vehicle the wife runs around. I suspect she is back into drugs. This is what really scares me. I have no p[roof that it is the house, but I never can tell when she is "high." So I never know when I can let her father see her. I don't know how protected she is when she is over there. When I do allow my daughter over there, I visit their home and they are usually in the back room asleep or watching t.v. or who knows. So my questions are just this...Does it sound Like I need to distance her from the situation? With not alot of money, what can I expect the court to say if he disagrees. I have not the money to go through court and really don't want the emotional stress of that too! What are your thoughts of this situation?
i think all you need to do is show your daughter what is wrong and what is right. What i mean is give her some morals and let her figure out what kind of goals she wants for her future. What you need to do is not preach to her about what they do over there but let her know that there are better ways of life and she is more than capable of doing anything as long as she puts her mind to it. Teach her self respect and teach her to focus on better things than that. Let her know that she is wonderful and she doesn't need her bio father to take her places or include her with anything cause she has got you and you are proud of who she is and you love her and you are priveliged to have her as your daughter. So when they do something like going on a family day without her take her somewhere like the park or fishing and constantly let her know that she is blessed to have a man like you as a father who loves her more than anything in the world and would do absolutely anything for her. Let her know that her bio father doesn't think about how she feels when he does some things because some people are just that way in kind, but it doesn't mean that she is not important.
 
June 1, 2008, 1:42 pm CDT

candy and children

Okay, I have 5 kids that I am raising with my husband, 3 are not biologically mine but they live with us daily.  My husband and I recently moved closer to his family and ever since his family ie(mother and sister) will not stop telling us how to raise our children.  The issue is I do not provide my children with sweet food ie(candy, ice cream, etc) daily.  They get these items maybe once or twice a week.  His family feels that we should have a cabinet or drawer full of candy for the children to get atleast once a day.  Are we doing something wrong not allowing the children to eat sweets all the time?

 
July 19, 2008, 7:10 pm CDT

Do good fences make good neighbors?

We desperately need some advice in a recent matter.

We got a climber/slide for our 20 month old son, and put it in our small front yard, that is sorrounded with fence. The neighbor's son, who is 3 years old, came to the fence, looking very interested in the slide. His mom followed him, and finally both of them were standing in front of the house, outside the gate. I felt that they wanted to get in. I went through agony, standing in my yard, and did not invite them in. I tell you why (and my reasons do not justify why I didn't do it, only I tell them as facts).

I am not American. I have been here for only a few years.
I don't know the neighbors very well , and what I know about that family is not very good.

I wouldn't want them to get used to coming here anytime they want, and don't want to get involved in their troubles. I generally prefer to keep a certain distance from people .

At the same time I feel REALLY bad, because of the child. He is only a child. He cannot help who his parents are. He just wants to play.

(The mother wanted to get a slide for her son, after she saw ours, I even helped him somehow, but she didn't use my help).

Now I feel that the mother is hurt and angry with me (partly I can understand, I am a mother too), it seems to me that they don't want to come outside when we are in the yard, and when we see each other I feel a very bad vibe. Do I feel this becuase of my guilty conscience?

What should we do next time this happens (they are standing at the gate)?

We wish we knew what Dr. Phil would say about this.

 

 

 

 

 

 
July 25, 2008, 7:18 pm CDT

Your Parenting Style

Quote From: rachel_mommy

My husband acts worse than a five-year old. I Have to get his paycheck from him while he is at work or he will bring it home in ones just to annoy me. He spends money on toys for himself and spends no money on our one-month old daughter. He complains about the car because it is not a chevy. It is a newer car so I don't think it should matter. He stays up all night while I'm at work and when I get home and want to sleep, he is asleep and won't get up to care for her. She sleeps all night so I know she isn't keeping him up. What should I do? 
I believe he is experiencing the "PeterPanSyndrome" which means that he was so over protected as a child that he has to counter act what hes been taught and acts like a child bc he didnt have much of a child hood. I would set him down and just get to the bottom of things and see why he is acting that way and try to negotiate a way so that u both can enjoy the perks in life and take care of the baby.
 
September 29, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

Am I abad mother

     I have a 14 year old daughter...I do not let her do a lot of things she asks to do.
Examples:
She wanted to go to the Home coming dance (I said NO)
She asked to rejoin color gaurd at school ( she went ditching for this class last year, so I said NO this year)
She wants to go down to the park about 6 blocks from our home alone (I say NO)
She asks to go to the movies with 2 friends alone ( I say NO)

I DO Let Her:
Wear make-up (my husband thinks she wears to much, but I was not allowed to wear it and still don't and I feel that she likes the way it makes her look)
Say Bad words No real bad ones
Have a cell phone
Talk to boys (No boyfriends yet not till she's 16)


As a child myself I was not allowed to do a lot of things and and told my folks I would never treat my kids that way but at times I think I do.....

Please let me know if you think I'm doing a bad job or if you think I'm OK
 
January 29, 2009, 1:43 pm CST

Getting a 4yr old boy to not want guns!

Does anyone have any help for me????  To get him to liston a little better????

 
February 23, 2009, 7:17 am CST

I dont know what to do

I was a teneger mother. I had my daughter when I was 17 yrs old. I raised my kids with there father but we didn't live together. We have a good understanding with each other and his wife. I think my kids have three parents,but we have a little of diffrent rules in some levels. When it gets hard we call each other explained what happends and then we decided what to do,but I dont think it has work for us.  

 
May 8, 2009, 2:42 pm CDT

who is the parrent

Quote From: brookie52

Does anyone have any help for me????  To get him to liston a little better????

 My son  went threw the same stage. try reading the hunting rule law book and tell him he is not old enough to have guns . but when he is a grown up he can. Donot cave on this issue, at that age they have a hard time with real and make believe.   also tell him guns are for hunting  and he needs to maybe join cubscouts to learn from a professional you don,t like them they scare you and its your rules in your house!   and lastly guns don,t kill people people kill people. rembemer your the Parrent  bottom line. good luck promise in a few months he will want every pokeman card on the planet or well you get what i mean take care that was a great question.
 
May 21, 2009, 3:16 pm CDT

Dont want to see my kids any more

I dont even want to see my kids any more...I try and try to be a good father and a role modle..I am a fire man and I am very protective of my kids, but their mother is the total opposite and she tells the kids to lie to me...I just found out my son was smokine weed..and she didn't even care...she took him to take a blood test and was like ...see he is ok...But my son confessed to me I told her..and she just hung up on me...I call the kids all the time just to make sure that they are ok and she tells them not to answer..today was the last straw..I was talking to my kids because they didn't tell me that they didn't have school and they never answered my calls..she didn't even answer my calls and she said it was not my business were the kids were....and my son told me he didn't want to hear it any more..for me to stop talking to him mom like that...I was sooo angry..I told him not to come over any more..he is 17..thats just half of it....omg
 
May 21, 2009, 3:25 pm CDT

its not bad

Quote From: brookie52

Does anyone have any help for me????  To get him to liston a little better????

its not bad..the more you dont want him to have one..the more he will....I know..I have a nephew that was that way....and he really loves them..and its kind of weird because he is sneaky about it and he gets his grandparents to buy it and he hides it...thats not good..

me on the other hand..I buy toy guns all the time..i even have brought paint ball guns...just show them the fun in guns..not just that its bad..you never know......My kids are very good kids straight A and all.....they could care less about their toys any more...just keep showing diferrent things with out making it a big deal.....they will move on..

 
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