Topic : My Friend/Relative Won't Discipline!

Quote From: tldenny

I baby sat my friend's little boy until a few weeks ago when I requested that they start bringing milk, juice and snacks for him.  I have three children of my own and my boys go through about 2 gallons of milk, more juice and snacks weekly.   She and her husband absolutely refused to bring anything for him.  They said because they were giving me $100 per week I should buy it all. 

  

They would bring a cup of water with him, in a diaper soaked through that he slept in, the same dirty clothes he had worn the day before, no change of clothes, no bath,  nothing.  Poor little guy is so sad.  They work weird hours, sometimes he was at my house until after 11 pm  and they would let him stay up until he fell asleep in the floor and then they'd leave him there the rest of the night.  They sleep during the day while the baby plays alone in the apartment, I mentioned they should not do that, she said nothing would happen.  The worst he would do was climb up on the bathroom sink and turn on the water.  The baby is 18 months old, what if he slipped, cracked his skull and bled to death while they slept I asked, she said that wouldn't happen.   

  

What do you do with people like this? 

  

I'm almost certain that he is mildy autistic, have a friend with an autistic child, little guy had many characteristics but when I spoke with the mother and mentioned she might want to have her pediatrician test him, she called me a myriad of awful names, told me I was an idiot and continued the horrible treatment of her son.  Expecting me to sit by and watch.  I knew when I asked them to bring drink and food that they would refuse, maybe that is why I did it.  I should have reported them to CPS but she has been a friend for a long time, I know her parents and can not bring myself to call.  I worry about him every day, I see babies and wonder if he is in a safe place and okay.  I want to call her mother but I am certain she has been told how awful I am.   

  

What to do in Texas. 

Quote From: pjsell

THERE IS A VAST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "HITTING" and "SPANKING"!  Starting off with intent!!!

Quote From: pjsell

My son is 30 now with children of his own and he is self-disciplined and knows about boundaries because when he was misbehaving he was warned and then is he continued, he got a spanking...not a beating...a spanking.  It certainly gets their attention and if punishment isn't unpleasant and swift they can get the upperhand pretty quickly. 

Quote From: jennife72

well i have a 7yr old and i have spanked him on occasion 

probably more than i should  

sometimes when i do that he will say that doesn't hurt  

what am i to do?  

he has a smart mouth on him 

 and i am a single parent  

  

Quote From: tambryan

And I do too. Why couldn't You????

Quote From: flu626

My husbands niece has a 9 yr old daughter. She is mean and hateful. She's a bully, and her mother supports, even encourages the behavior. I have heard  the mother  tell her ,"If they do anything to you (talking about my children) beat the snot out of them." I have even heard her tell the child to "hit them as hard as you can". The biggest problem is that the child knows alot about sex. She made sure to tell my 6 yr old all about it too. I understand kids being curious, believe me, but those two were caught playing "house". When they were asked about it, my son said that the little girl showed him how to play the game.  I took the time to find out exactly what happened and explained why he couldnt play that game and had to explain sex years before I had planned. The girls mom flipped out and said my tiny 6 yr old made her big 9 yr old do it and wouldnt even discuss the matter with her child until I let her know that if she didnt want to find out the truth maybe a child therapist would. Finally we talked to the girl and asked her the truth. She said that my son made her, my son said she was lying and finally she admitted that she showed him the game. I asked how in the world she know that much about the birds and bees. She is 9 and sleeps in her parents room, and has her whole life. No wonder she is so savvy in the ways of the world. As of now my children are not allowed to play with her anymore, and I let her mother know that if she was going to encourage bad and dangerous behavior, to keep her child away. I hate to be that way, especially with family but my family is my main concern.

Quote From: amanda252

my friend usse to live across the street from me, she is a great friend, now lives 20 minutes away she has a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old.   when she moved in i as like finally someone i can talk to.  but as time went on and we got to know each other it got worse. i heard many times the older boy swearing at her calling her a bitch, telliong her to shut the f up and more. i had to go over at one time to take him to school and help get him dressed and was kicked in the process.  the worse was my 4 yr old girl, he was mean to her, was fine when thy played by them selves but when the yunger boy,(who she liked better) would play he was awful, he pushed and shoved her down, and told them that they should kiss and  have the younger boy touch my girls privates, good thing he didnt, me and my friend had many arguments over his behavior.  i feel bad cuz my daughter misses the younger boy very much they was best friends, but am relutant to take her up there around the older boy. tough decisions for me, and even tougher to keep telling her no.

Quote From: tldenny

I battle with myself daily on this, it's a horrible decision to have to make.  I know what the system is like, it frightens me almost as much as him being at home with his parents.   And the father scares me, they would know it was me, and he is a very volatile man.  I have three children, I can't put them in harms way either.   

  

My husband says that I am out of it now, but I don't feel like I am when I think about the child every day.  Even my 13 year old daughter said once that they did not deserve the baby.  A 13 year old, self absorbed teenager said that, it's pretty obvious. 

  

Still trying to decide.