Topic : 08/03 Teen Wake-Up Calls

You have made a very intelligent and healthy decision.  I wish more people could understand 

all the dangers. 

Linda 

I think that a lot of these teens could be crying out for help. Them being rebeleous is just a sign of their insecurity with themselves. No teen wants to go out and drink, have sex, and do drugs. They do those things because of their insecurity. Some of them have problems with their self esteem which makes them pressured easily. I am 14 and I see a lot of people at my school who have these drinking and sexual issues. Most of the time when they do these things it is for acceptance. Many of the people that I talk to about their drinking or having sex is so the people arround them have respect for them. But really those people dont even have respect for themselves. They desire to be respected but I think that it should start by respecting yourself. Many teens in highschool go through that insecurity because of the pressures of high school. I think that if you dont have good self esteem in high school it could really hurt you. I see teens everyday brag about doing drugs. When I ask them why they do it they say that it is fun but never have a real answer and that is because they themselves dont know.

I once went to see Mary Pipher give a talk. There was a large crowd, maybe 2000.  Many young girls were there with their . . . moms.  I didn't see many dads there at all.  I remember thinking to myself, "where are all the dads?".  But I already knew where they all were.  I wondered if they knew she is the most precious gift they will ever have in this world.  Perhaps some no,  or else I would have seen more than just a handful there.     

   

I would like to think if more dads recognized the diamond in their posession, the lives of young girls like  Shelly and Allie might  turn out differently.  The father-daughter bond is particularly powerful, and with a loving father in their lives I think some girls would  be helped through adolesence relatively unharmed.   

   

before the beauty industry saw another way to make a fortune!  There are a few hold-outs....Nicole 

Kidman, for one....who maintains that fresh, lovely and stunningly beautiful look without a ray of 

sunshine damage.  Go to my website and look at the Treatment Department and my post operative photos......and see that '"they 

do not just cut it off." 

http://www.sunblitz.com 

To the young lady that wishes to tan so much.  If I would've known how bad trying to get a tan is I would've not pushed my former wife into trying to tan her then fair skin.  I lost her in January 2003 to Melanoma Cancer, of which she had contacted not even a year before, 36 days short of our 28th wedding anniversary and 20 days before her 46th birthday.  And a year later her father died of same cancer also being diagnosed less than a year before.  Skin cancer, Melanoma, strkes without much notice and in my case took the lives of two very important persons in less than a year.  If I could I would show that young lady pictures of how beautiful my wife was and how the cancer changed her looks most dramatically in just less than a year. 

  

Dr. Phil I sure do hope she takes your advice and uses the products you presented to her.   

Iam blonde, blue eyed, fair skinned,42, tried to tan and it was always a disaster. I would rather be pale than look like a lobster. I  am always complimented on the way I look younger than I am. I credit that to the fact that I sunblock!!! If God wanted you to be dark skinned than He would make you that way. Be happy in the skin you are in!!! rejoice in that and try to embrace it.  Don't be misled in those  bikini adds, Those girls probably were airbrushed anyway.

I am now 23 years old...my mom was leiniant with me,i was allowed to drink and stay out with friends,I had my first boyfriend at 15yrs old-he was my first and only sexual partner,my first love....we were together for 3yrs total,i got pregnant with our son at 16yrs old...him and i split when my son was 10mons old because it was an unhealthy relationship...and for the best interest of my son,i wanted him to be raised in a good environment....where he would not have to witness his parents fighting.I am a responsible mom,i have a good head on my shoulders and while i made irresponsible decisions for myself...i have taken full responsibility for them.My friends were a factor but ultimately it was me....i still wanted more freedom...despite my moms lieniance...she made restrictions...and i rebelled more....thats what teenagers do...they are striving for independance..the less you give them..the more they want and will take when you are not looking...For me it was, and for most this behavior is a phase...Instill self esteem,provide information,keep talking,talking...not criticizing...not demeaning....not yelling....just let them know that you care...help them see their value,their worth...one day they will,and they will have self respect and standards for them selves,They need to feel like you understand where they are coming from...do your best to keep them safe...provide condoms,birth control,know that teenagers will get alcohol and drugs elsewhere whether you approve or not...if they want it they will find it,be in tune with your kids....they do want attention,this is a time in their lives that they need guidance,support,understanding.....they are on a search for their identity....trying to find out where they fit in to this world....adolescence is tough,the changes you feel are hard to deal with....puberty is such a difficult time....and girls are so vulnerable to the pressure they feel to fit in.....Dont play the blame game....it is more internal then external factors that contribute to how young girls behave.....help them find themselves and have self worth.....contribute to the well being of every adolescent girl you can....they need all the support ,attention,love,understanding they can get! I have two adolescent sisters,One is 16yrs,the other is 13yrs...I am a rock to both...and they are good kids,the 13 yr old is just starting puberty and i will be there to inform her,advize her,support her,she is so emotional right now, she is strong willed and i see alot of potential for her future,The 16yr old has been in two relationships so far,she is determined,she is motivated and has learned to have standards for herself.,she doesnt smoke,drink,do drugs or have casual sex.They are both headed towards a bright future.....Be a support to young girls...keep them strong....keep them focused.....love them.

It is so tragic to watch a loved one suffer with this cancer....it is not only physically and emotionally devastating to all, but the lack of any real meaningful intervention to stop the progress of the disease, is overwhelming.  I am an advocate and survivor of melanoma and live each day with 

great thankfulness, knowing fully that it can change in a moment. 

Thank you for posting your uncles story.  Maybe it will help someone make a decision to save 

their own life. 

Linda 

http://www.sunblitz.com 

I was in Allie's spanish class. I'm glad she is getting help now. The sad thing is our school is known as the drug school. Many people at are school do or have done all kinds of drugs and are like Allie. Too often I see people drunk or high at school. We could really use some help, Dr. Phil.

may do a lot to make an impression on these young women.  I am one of the lucky ones....at least for now.  I have dedicated the rest of my life to trying to get the word out about the dangers, prevention and awareness of melanoma and other skin cancers.  You have been through more than most of us can imagine and I thank you for your courage to speak out about a very painful and 

difficult experience.  Thank you. 

Linda 

http://www.sunblitz.com