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Topic : 08/03 Teen Wake-Up Calls

Number of Replies: 251
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:17:02 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/25/06) How do you get through to rebellious teens who think they are invincible? Dr. Phil has advice for parents terrified that their kids are headed down a destructive path. Shelly says that her 15-year-old daughter, Allie, was the perfect child before partying and drinking took over her life. Allie has been cited several times for public intoxication, and also has been caught stealing prescription drugs. Shelly fears her daughter won't make it to her 18th birthday. Dr. Phil introduces Allie to someone he thinks will leave a lasting impression. Then, Kim is scared to death because her 16-year-old daughter, Briana, has sex with older men and doesn't use condoms. Briana was even caught having sex with a 23-year-old in the backseat of his car! Dr. Phil gives Briana a wake-up call she'll never forget. And, a teen who has spent over 400 hours in tanning beds says she’s unconcerned about the health risks. Share your thoughts, join the discussion?

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April 22, 2006, 9:14 am CDT

One word SUPERVISION!

If a child can't behave on when unsupervised then parents have to supervise that child all the time or provide that supervision.  I don't understand how a 15 year old child is on the streets drunk.  Where the heck is mom and dad?  If you can supervise your 2 year old or provide your 2 year old with 7/24 supervision then why can't you do that for an untrustworthy 15 or 16 year old?  It is not the age that determines what freedoms a child has it is the behavior the determines that. 

  

 

  

 

Clearly these parents don't have clear limits and consequences for exceeding those limits nor are they monitoring there kids closely enough and following through or these girls would not be behaving in such a way.   I guess these are the same girls who where running around in the mall with their friends unsupervised at 10 and 12.  If you don’t want to be involved in your kids life’s then don’t be surprised when the life your kids lead is not what you want it to be.  Giving these kids a reality check is a poor substitution for involved parents. 

  

 

  

 

400 hours in a tanning bed????  Where the heck does a teen get 400 hours of free time let alone the money to use a tanning bed for 400 hour?  Clearly this kid lacks direction and purpose for their life.  I don’t know a single kid who between school, church, clubs, sports. Arts, work, and community activities has time to spend 400 hundred hours doing anything.  There is so much for kids to be engaged in these days it is not hard to keep them out of trouble.  Rather then saying stop using the tanning bed why not provide some other focus to this kid’s life.  This would also work for these other girls who seem to lack direction. 

  

 

  

 
April 22, 2006, 6:53 pm CDT

i kno her!

i kno briana!she goes to my school ive known her for 3 years and she keeps getting worse.in ninth grade i got her help from the counselors at school for her cutting  and it doesnt work apparently because she still does it.as far as all the sex goes we hear all about it shes not afraid to tell anyone even though people dont care.briana came back to school on friday and was saying to people she"didnt care what he said she wasnt going to stop having sex"ill be watching the show tuesday and i hope dr phil reads my comment and sees that she most likely isnt goin to stop having sex or doing the drugs or alcohol or anything else she does.she needs help and shes going further into the wrong path.this girl needs help and attention which apparently she didn't get enough of or she wouldnt be such a wild child.she is my friend  and i was want her to be safe and happy.she deserves it.
 
April 22, 2006, 8:43 pm CDT

2 sides to every story

 I would be willing to bet there is more to it than a lack of supervision.This child is clearly crying out for help.  

 
April 23, 2006, 2:09 am CDT

not everything is the fold of the parents!

it's i think not the fold of te parents 

but that the parents are letting her share the bed whit boy's on that age thats not normal the parents have to watch what her child do. 

but that she do her self pain that is not a fold of the parents 

but i have seen the show and because i do the same thing(of hurt myself i sure that i watch the show)i hope sow that i have what on it. 

  

 
April 23, 2006, 6:10 am CDT

It's not always the parents fault

I know sometimes teenagers are doing stuff like drinking and all because they're parents are never around to watch them like they should. But i do also know some teens have parents who do the best they can to try to watch them. Now I will say that being a teen myself you probably dont wanna hear what i have to say. But I feel like I wanna say it. When I was in the eighth grade, i knew a friend who tried to hurt theirself. They would jump out of trees and then finally they knew what worked or they thought. My friend started cutting herself with razor blades. She did this for awhile. My friends saw this and one said "why are you this to urself ur such an idiot!" That didn't make her feel any better. It made her worse. But what did help her was another friend. She said "I dont want you to die. You're like my sister and it hurts me to see you like this. Please dont do this anymore. If you are having problems talk to me or ur mom. This is not the answer." Then finally she quit with help. But I want lie, she still has to fight to keep herself thinking positive so she will never go back. Sometimes it's good to have a friend who cares about you. Whats not good is when a friend isn't really a friend.When I first started high school at the age of 15, i was introduced to all kinds of things. At my school, which i prefer not to say its name, I saw drugs being exchanged, alcohol being drunk right their in front of the teachers nose, people sneaking to the bathrooms to smoke and do "other things". I'm not trying to dis my school but, somethings not right here. But I will admit I was offered something to drink. I saw the bottle of what appeared to be dr. pepper. Little did I know it had Brandy in with it. I trusted that girl when she said "It's just dr. pepper. Take a sip." Afterall she was my friend.So i did and i tasted that alcohol in it. But i guess it was my fault for trusting my friend. See that wasn't my moms fault. She couldn't predict that I would be introduced to such things at my school. Please feel free to leave any comments you want to.
 
April 23, 2006, 11:48 am CDT

Understand??

I understand that this is a very serious issue and I understand that it's very emotional but what I don't understand is how do you go through it?
 
April 24, 2006, 11:36 am CDT

No one person is to blame

I knew one of these girls, in fact I was one of her teachers in the 8th grade last year.. This young lady was a cheerleader  on our campus very popular and beautiful. She is a sweet young lady very intelligent,  we saw trouble coming but no matter what the school counselors and vice principles did in trying to help her it wasn't enough. What are we suppose to do, in order  to help students that are going   down the wrong road? We were suppose to meet with the parents, I for one never met this students mom, and I also taught  her older son.  I know that parents need to work to put bread on the table thus not having enough time  for their children, but it can be done or rather it needs to be done!. We just pray that  Dr. Phil can get this young lady the help that she needs, because our society  may never get to be blessed as I and many others were by just knowing  this young lady.  

Good Luck Allie.  

 
April 24, 2006, 12:26 pm CDT

parent watch

Quote From: teen_in_tn

I know sometimes teenagers are doing stuff like drinking and all because they're parents are never around to watch them like they should. But i do also know some teens have parents who do the best they can to try to watch them. Now I will say that being a teen myself you probably dont wanna hear what i have to say. But I feel like I wanna say it. When I was in the eighth grade, i knew a friend who tried to hurt theirself. They would jump out of trees and then finally they knew what worked or they thought. My friend started cutting herself with razor blades. She did this for awhile. My friends saw this and one said "why are you this to urself ur such an idiot!" That didn't make her feel any better. It made her worse. But what did help her was another friend. She said "I dont want you to die. You're like my sister and it hurts me to see you like this. Please dont do this anymore. If you are having problems talk to me or ur mom. This is not the answer." Then finally she quit with help. But I want lie, she still has to fight to keep herself thinking positive so she will never go back. Sometimes it's good to have a friend who cares about you. Whats not good is when a friend isn't really a friend.When I first started high school at the age of 15, i was introduced to all kinds of things. At my school, which i prefer not to say its name, I saw drugs being exchanged, alcohol being drunk right their in front of the teachers nose, people sneaking to the bathrooms to smoke and do "other things". I'm not trying to dis my school but, somethings not right here. But I will admit I was offered something to drink. I saw the bottle of what appeared to be dr. pepper. Little did I know it had Brandy in with it. I trusted that girl when she said "It's just dr. pepper. Take a sip." Afterall she was my friend.So i did and i tasted that alcohol in it. But i guess it was my fault for trusting my friend. See that wasn't my moms fault. She couldn't predict that I would be introduced to such things at my school. Please feel free to leave any comments you want to.

I am a parent of now 17 years girl, I was around all the time and I knew where she was at all time, everything that went on with her, I was married for the second time and her father did not have any thing to do with her,but my husband now give her anything she wanted and was very good to her,then one day out of the blues Nicole turn on the wrong foot, she starting to drink,smoke sleeping around, not going to school  and that hurt me so much,I tried to talk to her but no way she did not want to listen.I try to get Nicole to go to the doctors.Still nothing, then one day we got into it and then before I knew what was happen we was fighting ,and anything came apart.Now she doen't  live with me and I pray every night that she will turn her live around,I love her very much,she is a very smart (a) and pretty girl, but her ways will kill you. So please do not aways blame the parent.Until this day I believe it is because Nicole wanted a real father,but Chris did try and he loves her very much and also wishes things would be differ for all of us,so where do you go from here? 

  

  

 
April 24, 2006, 1:17 pm CDT

i know brianna

i went to school with her i dated her ex-boyfriend. i never knew she was like that  he didnt say anything ether.. i would have never thought something like that of her. But, i still dont think shes a bad person, people make mistakes or never had an example to live by whatever her case is i hope she gets through it  and she sees her error.      good luck brianna.
 
April 24, 2006, 1:20 pm CDT

Why do parents expect teenagers to understand adult issues

Quote From: breez36

I am a parent of now 17 years girl, I was around all the time and I knew where she was at all time, everything that went on with her, I was married for the second time and her father did not have any thing to do with her,but my husband now give her anything she wanted and was very good to her,then one day out of the blues Nicole turn on the wrong foot, she starting to drink,smoke sleeping around, not going to school  and that hurt me so much,I tried to talk to her but no way she did not want to listen.I try to get Nicole to go to the doctors.Still nothing, then one day we got into it and then before I knew what was happen we was fighting ,and anything came apart.Now she doen't  live with me and I pray every night that she will turn her live around,I love her very much,she is a very smart (a) and pretty girl, but her ways will kill you. So please do not aways blame the parent.Until this day I believe it is because Nicole wanted a real father,but Chris did try and he loves her very much and also wishes things would be differ for all of us,so where do you go from here? 

  

  

Your daughter did not just out of the blue start doing these things, she may have become more bold about it but if you look back objectively, you will see times when she was doing things that were setting the stage for her current behaviour.  

  

You say that she wanted a real father and you know what, she has every right to feel that way. It makes me nuts when parents think that a step-parent, no matter how out of the way they went for the child should be appreciated in the same way. Did you and her ever work together to help her understand her feelings about her real father, did you help her grieve the dad he never was? probably not. You need to look at her needs from the point of view of a child, not yourself. Go back to when her dad left her and emotionally, that is where her life stopped. physically she has grown up but emotionally she is still hoping against all hopes that her daddy will come back and scoop her up and tell her it was all just a bad dream.  

  

the reason young girls sleep around and drink, & party is because they either want to see how much they can get away with, they want to feel more grown up than they are, or they want to feel important to someone in an adult fashion. They need a healthy male role model that can show them how they should be treated.  

  

If your husband really wants to be that person for her, he needs to sit down with her and start letting her tell  him about how hurt she is about her dad and to help her understand that sometimes even though people are still alive, we need to grieve them as if they are gone in order to give ourselves a fighting chance at a happy life.  

 
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